To stop ex having our child for a full day

[MG08]

Me and my husband have separated, it's still early days so nothing is official. Our child is 18 months old. She is still breastfeed and when I am at work I come home to feed her during the day. My ex sees her a couple of times during the week when he can be bothered to turn up and then a day at the weekend. He has never had her on his own at the weekend as he always goes out with his parents. He has said she doesn't need a routine and has asked why I don't give her freedom to do what she wants. He is refusing to pay child maintenance. He has made no provisions to provide a place for our daughter to sleep or eat at his. Because of this I have requested he return her to me at lunchtime so I can feed her and she can nap in her bed. He then picks her up again and has her for the afternoon. He says he wants her for the day.

AIBU?

Paying the mortgage is paying maintenance.

Woah hang on. You want him to pay maintenance AND your mortgage? And on top of that he has to bend around your ridiculously rigid rules for no reason?

OP you are being absolutely ridiculous.

Ridiculous!

I have never seen such a crazy post.

He is paying your mortgage.

You want him to return the child to you to have a nap in the middle of the day, when she could easily nap in his parents house.

Grow up!

I get it OP, I really do. It's you that has to deal with the fallout from her not napping or eating properly. Just like you've always had to do the grunt work of parenting while he sits back and takes credit. I bet you feel like it's just not fair that these decisions have been made for you, against your wishes and now it's you that's losing out on time with your daughter.

However, what I'd do in your position is let him have his contact day, all day on a Saturday and then you've got the Sunday to get back to normal ready for the work/nursery routine on a Monday.

There's not a lot else you can do to be honest. It's pretty daft that he's having to bring her back home for a nap. It's not fair on anyone is it?

It seems a little disingenuous to say in your OP that your husband is not paying child maintenance (the implication being that he is not supporting his child) but later reveal that he is paying the mortgage for your house.

Having to return his child to your house for a nap in the middle of his day is not a sustainable situation. Rather than trying to enforce it, you would do better to try to develop a longer term solution.

My ex was useless and I dumped him and he pays fuck all and I never stopped contact, he needs to learn how to be a dad and you DD does not need to go home for a feed and nap, go out yourself and have some me time etc