AIBU to think it might not be ok to leave a 16yo overnight with their younger siblings?

[WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat]

Just that really. Four children, all male (if that's relevant), 16yo, 14yo, 7yo & 8yo.

Would be home alone from 1800hrs until 0645hrs the following morning. Parent would be working no further than 20-25 min away by vehicle, which would always be guaranteed to be available.

Don't know any neighbours, however have a reliable friend who lives approx 1.5min walk away. Quiet suburb with virtually zero crime. Average ambulance wait time is 6-14 minutes.

16yo has no issues with it - is a sensible reliable teenager who can cook, clean, knows advanced first aid. The house has a fully stocked professional first aid kit and is fitted with regularly checked smoke alarms.

I'm being told that it's fine, legal, not a problem, but I'm just not sure.

I really need opinions please.

I’d be fine with that. If my 16 and even 14 yr old weren’t responsible enough and my 7 and 8 yr old weren’t well behaved and independent enough for me to do that I’d be very upset with myself.

You know your own kids, if they will behave with no bullying then should be fine.

I wouldn’t. I might have left the 16 year old but not the others. Not fair to place the parenting and responsibility on them so I’d hire a sitter.

Yes absolutely fine. It’s legal. What’s the problem?

Nah. It's not ok to use your 16 year old as childcare. As a one off i have no problem with it, but as a permanent arrangement so a parent can work? Not the 16 year olds responsibility.

Do they get on? Would the younger ones listen to the older ones if needed? Would any of them argue in a way that the others could not manage?

How often? Occasionally then yes, but not if it were more than once a week.

The children have been offered a nanny or au pair but the elder two are vehemently against it and the 16yo was the first to suggest the above arrangement.

The discussions around the whole thing are taking quite some time - no decision will be made until it's 100% right.

It all depends on the people... I guess that's why there's no law. You know your own children.

I leave my 13 year old home alone no issues but my friend won't leave her son (same age, same year) at all because he's much less mature.

Advanced first aid? He's probably more capable than me and I'm 35 haha

I was babysitting on my own at 12 and would have had nights where parents didnt get back till 3-4 am by the time I was 13 / 14 so cant see a problem with it. If you set it up as a babysitting gig for the older one and he gets privileges for helping then it's fine.
My only reservation would be if there is any bullying between any of them in which case i wouldn't do it.

The younger two do listen to the eldest - he sits sometimes (paid) for them, never any later than 00:30, at the very latest, usually more like 2300hrs.

The littlies bicker but nothing major. The 14yo and 16yo get on great.

One off, okay, but not regularly. It won't be long before the novelty wears off and the younger ones won't do what they are told. The eldest would be required to get them all to bed on time. Would he need to be getting them up too and organising breakfast? Would you sort evening meal before you go? Presumably 16 and 14 yo would have homework to be doing in the evenings too (and GCSE revision?) as well?

Way too much responsibility for a 16yo on a regular basis - it's not fair on him.

Ive left my 5 year old ds with his 17 year old step brother overnight, it was an emergency, they were both perfectly fine. Considering what you have written i wouldnt see a problem with leaving them.

As a one off, I would do it. However, this sounds like it will be a regular occurrence. How often would the 16 year old be in charge per week?

It would be for two nights in a row, approx once a month. Sometimes not as often.

Evening meal would be prepped each time and parent would be home 15min before they wake in the morning.

He knows advanced first aid because his parent is an EMT. He could probably cannulate you tbh

Seeline has hit the nail on the head with the novelty wearing off. If it's a regular occurrence then I can see the potential for a lot of problems with the arrangement.

Two nights once a month? Don’t see a problem with that at all. My 15yo sits for her similarly aged cousins regularly, she gets them fed and off to bed, nothing unusual in that.

I guess it’s just the overnight bit that people are worried about, whereas i would say that leaving them that long in the day would be more of a worry.

I have a mature DD16 but was surprised a couple of days ago when our smoke alarm went off in the middle of the night and it didn't wake her. I know it doesn't wake babies but thought that by 16 she would wake.

However, in theory she is old enough to leave home.

I think k that is fine. As long as 16 year old has no issues with getting younger kids to bed then I se no issue.
Perfectly legal. My mum worked 4-9 and my older sibling (16) heated our dinners. Bathed us and got us to bed. 4 days a week! Needs must. It's not a big deal

I think it's fine but consider what you'll do when the 16 year old starts going out late with friends etc and the 14 year old (who'll be 15/16 by then) doesn't want the responsibility for two kids on his own

Absolutely fine if they are all happy with it.

My mum worked 4-9 and my older sibling (16) heated our dinners. Bathed us and got us to bed. 4 days a week! Needs must. It's not a big deal

I think it's a big deal tbh. 16 year olds shouldn't have to give headspace to this. It's not up to them to sort dinner and bath and bed younger children. You say needs must but this is very much about the need of your mum and not the need of the 16 year old.

What happened when your older sibling had GCSE's to study for? Because social life aside, that's an awful lot of study time taken away

Sounds fine to me. I was doing paid babysitting for randoms at 16. Certainly looked after my little brother etc. They will be asleep for most of it. Read the younger ones the riot act about behaving.

I was the older sibling btw.

From age 12/13 I collected from nursery, took the bus across town, made tea then bathed and bedded my younger sister. By the time the adults came home I was expected to have done the dishes and put some washing on too.

This went on for years and it really affected me.

My mother was single and trying her best for her 4 children. My sister understood this. She is very successful dentist now. So it Had no impact on her studies 😊👍🏻