To think that my 50's will be a nightmare?

[Allinadaystwerk]

I'll turn 50 in a few months. I'm fairly recently separated (6months ago...quite traumatic still trying to recover) have a dc age 12 and three adult dc. I'm dreading my 50's. All I see or hear about is menopause, fading looks and health problems. Am I right or is there light?
How have/are your 50's treated/ing you?

@Celeriacacaca - I'm interested in the Age Well Project but can I ask if they push HRT? I'm happily post memo and am aware of the NICE recommendations but can't take HRT for medical reasons. I'm a bit disheartened by every 50+ celeb telling us we'll turn into shrivelled up, drooling crones if we don't take HRT!

I am 66 - still get chatted up - though I see them off as I am married.

I'm 53 and loving my 50s. I know what I do and don't want; have learned that no is a complete sentence, and do what I want, when I want. I have embraced the grey (saving shedloads on hair colouring), and still wear jeans and boots. I have grown into myself and am comfortable in my skin and with who I am.

We are mortgage and debt free; dh retires at 58 next month, and ds is through uni and an MA without any loans or debts. We have everything we need and most of what we want.

Flies in the ointment are an aging mother and my auto immune disease, but it could be so much worse.

Ill have a look at trinny. But. Im a little bit triggered by her being in a relationship with a man who was physically abusive to nigella though. (My x abusive).
Anybody else?!

Forgot to say, Nadine Baggot is lovely and she interviews a lot of other women who arent 25 any more!

No, I wouldn't have Trinny as a 50 something role model. Face full of fillers and a dodgy fella.

I'm 71, I don't remember having a menopause though obviously I did. Maybe because I didn't allow myself to worry about the anticipation of it helped.

I'm 55 in two weeks and I'm really enjoying my 50,s . I had a wobble this Spring with redundancy after 22 years but I'm happily settled into a new much less stressful job now . I run 15 miles a week and feel physically fit. Menopause was a pain but I took hrt and cane out the other side . I've embraced my silver hair and get tons of compliments on it . It's long silver hair and today I went shopping in GStar skinnies hiking boots and a biker jacket . Absolutely no need to worry about what you wear . Nobody is bound by those rules anymore. I don't care about what anyone thinks I still feel quite confident in myself. Age is a gift it's up to us how we use it

I'm just 60 and haven't read the thread.
Menopause wasn't a huge deal - occasionally I wake and throw off bedclothes. No other problems. I walk and mountain bike. I learn a language, play music. Life at 60 is fine and I feel 30. The only downside is sometimes mixing with oldies some of who are weird. But others surprisingly lovely.

I turned 50 at the start of the year, right up until that point I was ok with it.
BUT, now I see nothing....NOTHING as positive.
Very soon I'll be 51, inching my way to 60!

I've come to the conclusion that the 50's are a pointless stop gap between being middle aged and just plain old.

When you're in your 40's, you can kid yourself that you still feel like you did in your 30's. But 50, really does start to show up the cracks.

Besides. slogged my guts out all my life to clear all my debt...so now what, now that I'm debt free? I'm not a millionaire, I still have to work, don't want to go back into debt for anything - as that will just increase my need to work.

And so, the mundane cycle of just going through the motions of simply still being alive begin to be realised. I hate it...HATE IT

And the worse thing is...if my numbers came in tonight , I'd still be heading for 51. Not even money can stop that...who' d've believed that!!

Everything now just seems pointless - can't see the point in thinking of a career change, don't want to move, don't want to spend.

It's shit and I hate it

I’m 52, I’m lucky as can still wear clothes from my 20s. I’m not on HRT but take natural supplements. I dye my hair with Clairol, stay on trend with fashion, without looking ridiculous!! I walk 3 miles a day with my dog and find the outdoors does wonders for my wellbeing. I’m lucky as happily married and have a 14 year old DD who i love spending time, we’re v close. My sleep pattern is dreadful though and cannot remember the last time I slept through the night !!
I am told I look at least 10 years younger but I know this is down to having great genes, my late Mother was incredible, still going out dancing in her 80s.
I work part time and our mortgage is paid off so again v lucky.
I don’t really drink but could do a lot better with my food choices as eat a lot of junk

I turned 50 earlier this year and honestly don't feel any different to how I felt when I was 41 ... or 46 ... it's just a number. I know I walk more slowly these days (I used to tear along) and occasionally my lower back twinges, but I know people younger than me who have more health issues. I feel as though I am just entering "middle age" but my attitudes have become that of an old person - I don't suffer fools, I have little patience, and I think the fashion today is horrible non-existent and don't get me started on modern music!

The sleep cycles are a nightmare. I'm not so bad these days , but a year ago I was terrible. Kept waking up at 3 am then just not sleeping for hours. The menopause can be a challenge. It does pass though.

I think 50 is still classed as youngish for ladies now. I have done the 50's. 60's.and now in my 70's.and everything is quite good. It helps if you have been fortunate to have kept good health of course,and that you just live the life that makes you happy.

I haven't turned out to be the proverbial old granny as yet,although I am single now,and divorced for 34 years, although I do have three cats,and live in an ancient cottage.ha ha,

I like glamorous clothes,and make up etc, and like to socialise,and love dancing, and rock music.

So being 50, you are a youngie, so don't worry about a thing.

50 is just a number, doesnt mean we are over the hill lol. People dont believe im 50, been told I look in my 30's.

I love this thread

Sorry you’re not happy contendedsoul 💐

I’m late 60s. Barely noticed the menopause - and I do totally understand that it’s awful for many women but it really wasn’t for me. I never had many problems with my periods either and I do wonder if this is related, i.e. if your menstrual cycle has been problematic maybe your menopause will be?
I loved my fifties but actually loving my sixties even more! - despite having to deal with several family sadnesses, some of which have been life-changing.
I hope things go well for you OP. There are many great role models out there for you- I follow The Accidental Icon - but she’s a lot older than you!
Wear whatever you want! I think that once you recover from the recent separation from your husband you will feel truly liberated and will enjoy life very much.

Great thread. LOL at the thought that Trinny might be a role model - I'm not her age yet but no bloody way do I want to be anything like her when I am!

Very cheering. I do think life is what you make it and I've always been optimistic so hopeful for my 50s.

I don't mind about looks fading as I don't want to look like a 20 year old, that would be weird. But look good for a woman in her 40s? Yes please and I think I do.

I'm looking forward to working less and sitting down and reading more.

I’ve blocked the Trinny adverts on fb- I found those huge lips quite disturbing.

Everyone is different of course but my 50's have been difficult, the menopause has caused huge changes and left me wondering what the hell happened to my neck!
Sex drive, what there was of it, has totally gone. I live alone so no big deal but my sense of adventure and joie de vivre seems to have upped and left as well.
I'm struggling to make sense of it all and get my life back on track.

@recklessruby snap! I no longer suffer fools and I take no shit. The clarity is immense and no guilt.

I still have a few years to go but I’m struggling with the thought of it already. I’ve already noticed my looks going in the past couple of years. I’m not wrinkled but I just look - hard. Not soft faced any more. I hate it. And then other times I give myself a kicking there are so many people who haven’t seen this age who would give anything to be here. Plus seeing my children grow up is amazing x

Gosh @contentedsoul - I also turned 50 at the beginning of the year and agree with practically all of what you say. All of it.

I am recently divorced and if only my ex had been a nice person, things would be really different. Having him around would help make sense of everything.

I have my teens and I love them, but really I am alone.

And yes 51 is almost 60 in my book 😱.

@PucaIontach

I'll have a look at trinny. But Im a little bit triggered by her being in a relationship with a man who was physically abusive to nigella though. (My x abusive).

I didn't know about her relationship situation - sorry for bringing up something that triggers your PTSD.

I mainly suggested her because she's very good at what she does in terms of fashion, she gives suggestions on what colours to wear for your skin tone & age, how to pick silhouette's to suit your shape and height etc. She has a weekly feature on her Instagram called "Friday twinning" that is worth a look.

Lisa Eldridge is good for makeup and you've already mentioned Nadine Baggott for skin. I also like Sarah Jossel the beauty director @ the Sunday Times style. When she talks beauty she is very inclusive and ensures she considers all skin types, skin tones, ages and budgets.

Interesting that a couple of people are throwing the term 'role model' around with regards to Trinny? I wouldn't go that far, although I do admire her honesty & transparency regarding her drug addiction and her use of cosmetic surgery.

I aspire to have a well proportioned toned body, glowing clear skin and good teeth like Tracey Ellis Ross, Angela Bassett, Regina King and Viola Davis. These ladies are my personal role models. I spent 12months feeling upset, moping around and let myself go the year I turned 40. I'm determined not to repeat that behaviour ever again or feel or look drab when I turn 50.

Thanks for this thread. Menopause isn't talked about in my family except for the odd mention of how shit it is. I can't have a period without massive mood swings and breaking out in spots so I'm a bit worried about it and it seems to be a massive unknown. Glad to hear it can be ok.