To think that my 50's will be a nightmare?

[Allinadaystwerk]

I'll turn 50 in a few months. I'm fairly recently separated (6months ago...quite traumatic still trying to recover) have a dc age 12 and three adult dc. I'm dreading my 50's. All I see or hear about is menopause, fading looks and health problems. Am I right or is there light?
How have/are your 50's treated/ing you?

You're inspirational!

I’ll be honest.. I’ve found my looks disappearing hard. But having less immediate responsibility child wise, I’ve had the time to exercise every day, aiming to stay strong and healthy. You need to really put the work in, start looking after yourself. And the great thing about your 50’s is you get more time to be selfish.

I’m 60.
Sailed through menopause. Arms are a bit crepey, but so what.
Not having periods is fabulous. Sex drive has increased.
I wear jeans, sweatshirts and trainers and don’t care whether I should or shouldn’t.
My looks are obviously not what they were, but I can still pull something together when I choose to.
My body is creakier than it was, but otherwise okay.
I’m happy.

And at the weekend when I went to the cinema, I got in cheaper because of my age. Win, win 😀

Question for the surprisingly many posters who say they found a partner/dh in their 50s - doesn't meopause lower the sex drive in most women? I'm late 40s and feeling vey ambivalent already, but I do want a relationship. Or are men of that age not bothered much either ?
And where did you meet those nice men? I especially admire you as you say in the same post that your looks faded, but sounds like you still were/felt attractive?

Once menopause is over, it is awesome not to have periods anymore. Freedom! Having all kids grow up and go away--also delightful. Age brings new perspective, strength, and a sense of bonding with other women.

Good to hear such positive stories. I am not quite there yet but approaching this milestone: tbh for what it’s worth I feel far happier and more settled and sorted than I did in my 30s. And despite all the stuff about looks fading, far more attractive than I did in my 20s.

Women grow in power and confidence as they get older. Yes you are never going to have the dewy skin on a 20 year old. But as long as your health is good, this is offset by your confidence and self belief.

Embrace and enjoy it and don’t buy into the stereotype!

Cat...nothing wrong with my libido or my dh's! Mine increased on HRT and hasn't diminished now I'm off it.
We are 60 and have a fabulous life. Both fitter than we were 20 years ago .Met through mutual interests.

Hmmm I'm just not convinced.

Well then - your 50's will be hell

Our thoughts create our reality

I'm 55 and I can honestly say that so far the 50s are fab. Despite some challenges (bereavement and health problems), I've had a career change and am doing some volunteering that challenges me and makes me think. DH and I are more resolved to make time to do the things that matter. The spirit of adventure in us is still feisty. I am still very much me, and you will still be very much you. And experience brings greater comfort in our own skins, I think.

41 here...i like getting older in some ways...more wisdom and perspective.. as women we are made to feel shite about our looks whether we arec16 or 60. Make the best of what you have.

I am 3 years away from 50 but I am not dreading it. I do a lot of sport and eat quite healthily so I don’t feel old and I think I look ok for my age.My parents are really active, positive and healthy and nearly 80. Like others have said I don’t really care what others think that much or at all😂 I also have friends who died young and appreciate that I am still here.
The only thing which bothers me is that most people at work are younger than me. Where are all the women my age?

Well it's great to hear so many stories of fabulous lives beyond 50. Just because I don't see it yet die a bit mean it will not be ok. So om hoping my 50s will not 'be hell' as predicted by @Goldenchildsmum...
My hopes and aspirations get thwarted by low mood and a chronic condition can knock me sideways sometimes. But I want a good life. I have lots to be grateful for. So I'll start with an attitude of gratitude. New day new outlook. 50...here I come💪🏾

Does not...not die a bit

thanks, Auntie, that's encouraging! sounds like menopause or HRT didn't stop you being confient in finding a partner. I'm a bit wobbly re confidence (late 40s) - maybe the pre-meno time is the worst as apart from pesky symptons, I feel my curves (and sex drive too) have disappeared a bit, feel that being thinner doesn't suit mature wome, takes getting used to. But if you are still sexual after going off hrt even, there's hope it will get restored!

I am nearly 70 now. My 50s were not hell but I suppose it depends on your priorities. In my 50s I was still very busy, working full time, helping my Mum out, grandchildren started to arrive from mid 50s. A few health problems, heavy periods and hysterectomy but sorted out after that (you can get health problems at any age). 60s have been even better. No real responsibilities, retired at 62, mortgage paid off. New interests, meet ups with friends a, a bit of voluntarry work to keep useful. Of course I look older but wear similar stuff to my daughters, skinny jeans, trainers or boots, big jumper, denim jacket. I never was interested in going out on the town though and was always ordinary looking. Try not to be pessimistic or you will have a self fulfilling prophecy. Every decade has its problems. Teens were the worst for me. 30s , the best of times and the worst of times combined.

I am 51 with an 8 year old. I too was worried about my 50s but honestly can't tell the difference between them and 40th. I still cycle to work, do pilates, basically have the same life as before!

I'm 51 and have four teenagers. My fifties haven't been great so far ! I am menopausal and it's causing extreme anxiety and depression and cost me a job. I'm exhausted and stressed. Never had so many aches and pains and illness in my whole life ! On a positive note I have a great family , no money worries and a new job I love.

@Ibizafun it is hard. Whati find hard is being "othered" by younger people. It is not specifically not being fancied. I see 30 domethings as adults like myself. They see me as an owlwan

It is natural i know. I dont think i was seeking out the company of women aged 50 when i was 35

I was 50 this year. The year leading up to the birthday was horrible- I sounded like you, that suddenly I'd turn old. But it's fine now. You look around and see cool women who are 50, 60, 70 plus. I swim every day, I'm fitter than I've ever been with just as much energy. I look ok. I swear just as much. I give way less of a shit about everything which is liberating. I'm in a shit marriage and my plan for the next few years is to extricate myself but even that doesn't have to be hideous.
I feel way more positive having passed to the other side. I had a very bad bout of ill health in my 30s, suffered from severe PCOS since a teenager so I am grateful for what I've got now.

pucalontach I agree that other people's attitudes can be a problem. The last thing I want to be is fancied, that is one benefit of saying goodbye to hormones for me! Also no PMT. I know younger women I worked with who have a laugh with me and see me as a person BUT new people you meet often make assumptions and stereotype you as you get older. I am surprised to hear people swear then turn to me and say "Sorry painted!" Also it irritates when people assume what your attitudes will be. MN is full of it. Otherwise being over 60 is great, so much freedom! Thankfully I do give far fewer fucks what people think these days so the stereotyping is less annoying than it would have been in the past.

Fuck, typed a long post and lost it but the gist was: I’m having the best erm romantic time of my life (with my dh of over 20 years), have ditched frenemies and only see who I want to see and do what I want to do and although I need to lose weight I think I look ok ish and I’m happy to still be here. I’m considering botox next year and I may try to fix the sagging jaw. I have nothing to prove career wise and my children are happy and pretty much doing well. It really is ok!

PucaIontach agreed in that it isn’t that I miss being fancied, more the constant reminder of the passage of time in the mirror. I had a small “refresher” facelift last year which subtly improved things but it doesn’t bring back the look of youth.

I have no problem with people in their 30’s as that was a hideous decade for me personally, my life is better in every way now.

I'm 60.

I found my 50s hard - mainly because of stuff not related to age. I've been through the menopause (it was not great tbh but my symptoms were mainly flushes, feelings of doom and exhaustion). I didn't take HRT.

I'm still wearing what I would have done if I were younger. I've always been interested in clothes and to be frank I'm in far better nick body-wise than many people who are much younger than me.

I'm quite keen to get something "done" but i don't see it as a priority now. I used to dread getting older but I've got used to it.

DD is 18 and off to University soon so I'm looking forward to that. I've had quite a bit of taking responsibility for others over the past 10 years or so and this is the first time I can really focus on myself in ages.

I'm working full time (took a fair bit of time off with DD) and probably won't ever do a "career" job again but hey ho - I'm here and, as a PP said, it's better than the alternative.

I'd still like to be fancied, though. Saddo that I am.

I had a great 50's . Divorced at 53, got my own place, kids grown up, got HRT for menopause symptoms. Health issues were very minor. Looks remained about the same.

There's no reason why your health or looks will deteriorate just because you are 50. You're putting a hex on yourself . Just take life as it comes.

@PucaIontach

I follow some older youtubers. Hotnflashy angie for makeup and erin busby for fashion. Both american, i need to find a uk /irish but older woman to inspire me.

Have a look at Trinny Woodall on YouTube (Trinny on YouTube) and/or Instagram