To think that my 50's will be a nightmare?

[Allinadaystwerk]

I'll turn 50 in a few months. I'm fairly recently separated (6months ago...quite traumatic still trying to recover) have a dc age 12 and three adult dc. I'm dreading my 50's. All I see or hear about is menopause, fading looks and health problems. Am I right or is there light?
How have/are your 50's treated/ing you?

Ted talks as well

PucaIontach

i dont understand how you are limited to being in competition only with those in their 40s. Can you explain!?

Sure. What I actually meant was when it comes to winning prizes.
It is normal for races to give prizes to 1st, 2nd, 3rd and also to 1st in individual age categories e.g. 35-40, 41-45 etc.

So, if I am the first in my age cat I get a prize, even if I was say 7th woman overall. I love prize!
It recognises that even though I'm a pretty decent runner I'm not 25!

It's not that bad , honestly!
I don't care now and that is liberating. I also make sure I have my hair cut regularly and a decent moisturiser and lots of sleep!!
I'm sorry your so low. The menopause can be debilitating but herbal tablets helped me through most of it snd not having periods is also great! There are some positives.
I hope others have better advice about your divorce and so on but good luck. Embrace the changes!

Interesting responses, it's good to hear the positive ones. I don't feel ready to change into an older woman yet. Do I have to give up wearing my jeans and trainers? What about going out... do I have to put my legs away? Is there a new fashion I need to embrace? Hair styles?

It doesn't have to be terrible.
I had an awful job, terrible, but in my mid-fifties I had a massive breakdown and couldn't do it any more, so that was the end of that. It took a while to recover.
But potentially, if you aren't in that situation, your fifties could be amazing. My late fifties and early sixties - fabulous!

55 here. Wearing pretty much what I wore at 35 and 45 (jeans and Docs etc.) and what I expect to wear at 65 as well. Admittedly I am a scruffy old thing who has always set a lot more emphasis on mind and brain than appearance,,,I think thats as an older woman you do become a bit more invisible, but that can be a great superpower!

No you don’t have to put away your jeans and trainers !!!
I had a crisis wether I needed to change my look , but decided not to .
The menopause was easy . Am forgetful tho ..
much better than periods !
It’s liberating .

My early-mid 50s were hard. Both my mother (who had dementia) and my MIL ((who was four hours/train journey away) both in their 90s had significant care needs and it got wearing. Late 50s have been much more carefree and yes I don’t care what anyone thinks anymore!

The only thing I noticed about the menopause was a few months of v heavy periods leading up to it. I had no other symptoms. No hot flushes etc. My 50's have been fine. I was single at the start. Now I'm not. Fading looks happens to everyone but a good thing about getting older is I care less and less what people think. I've got various ailments but nothing I can't deal with.

@TheOrigFV45 ah! I see what you mean.
Running :-)

I remember feeling quite low at 39 and in the end 40 was a relief almost.

I think I’m pretty lucky to be alive fit and healthy. I work in an environment where we support staff through bereavement on a regular basis, usually relating to kids, so it’s great to be entering my fifties and loving life, even with a few more wrinkles etc.

@Allinadaystwerk have fun with fashion
I follow some older youtubers. Hotnflashy angie for makeup and erin busby for fashion. Both american, i need to find a uk /irish but older woman to inspire me.

My early 40s was shocking in relation to relationship breakdowns, health issues (really traumatic miscarriages), general crap decisions. My late 40s? Brilliant. I look better, am fitter, am happier than I've been for many years. I have a lovely boyfriend, my kids are at an age where I can really enjoy them, I have a job I just love. My friends are lovely too. I love buying clothes, travelling and even just sitting in bed reading a lovely book. My home too is my haven. I have no insecurities about anything really. Because it will all work out.

There is so much confidence that comes of being my age. You just don't give a fuck. You have more confidence too - everything is easier! I think you are reeling from a relationship breakdown - it will take a couple of years to reclaim your equilibrium. But you will.

I wear jeans and trainers and boots etc. I'm overweight but I don't care ( I can wear jeans for work so that helps)
I don't worry what people wear and I hope they don't care what I wear! As long as I'm comfy and they are clean and ironed who should care? I spent my teens worried what people thought ; such wasted years.

I think it's what you make of it. As I approached fifty I was overweight, unfit and about to be made redundant. I applied for a job I never thought I'd get, but was successful. It gave me such a morale boost that I then felt motivated to lose three and a half stone, took up running and ran two marathons. The menopause was a bit shitty but exercise helped hugely with that too.

I’m 55. I no longer feel the need/guilt to say ‘yes ‘ to anything that I don’t wish to attend/do.
So very liberating!

I was never ' visible' as a young woman so being ' invisible ' in my 50s was never a problem for me! Lol

TheorigFV, I get you

I was excited reaching "vets" age for tennis

No more battling against crazy fit teenagers!

Allinadaystwerk
I haven't read the whole thread.
I'm 64 still shopping at Newlook. The only clothes shop left in town.
Wearing jeans and boots, mostly.
Size 14 more or less.
Single, no one to worry about, grown children.
Working in a company and developing my own life at the same time.
Never been happier.
Feel ( mostly) good in my skin, after a series of challenges.
Became single at 59 years old.

Do I have to give up wearing my jeans and trainers? What about going out... do I have to put my legs away? Is there a new fashion I need to embrace? Hair styles?

Oh now you’re just being really silly. 🙄

I always post this clip on these threads, sums it up

Ok @rosamacrose you're my new idol.

@ImperfectTents that's cheered me right up.
@rosamacrose you give me hope.
@AnnaNimmity yep I think I'm still reeling from my break up but hoping I'll recover over time.

Here's to not giving a shit and staying young at heart.

Totally unrelated but my DS just farted and a bit of me died. What is wrong with him

Allinadayswerk
Resilience is the key and your wish to be happy.
I restarted at 59 in a women's refuge. Absolutely determined not to let myself down or let anyone else grind me down.
Good luck.
Be proud of who you are.

And I bet you've no regrets @rosamacrose, which proves it's always better to take action to improve your life even if the number of decades ahead isn't as great as the number of decades behind you.