Disciplining 6 year old DS - no dinner or tv

[emeraldravine]

We have 2 DS's - 6 and 3 years old.

DH and I are in disagreement over how to discipline DS1. DH is definitely a soft touch when it comes to our children but I am quick to temper so I don't know if I've been unreasonable here.

DH and DS came home at 5.30pm after an after school swimming lesson, I was making dinner and DS2 was watching tv. DS1 wanted to watch tv and I shouted through that dinner was nearly ready so he could watch tv later.

I put dinner down and DS1 hid the remote so I couldn't change it from kids tv and he then refused to eat his dinner. I found the remote, changed the channel and then DS1 started crying loudly.

Refused point blank to eat his dinner because he didn't want what was put down - this is another bone of contention as we often make separate dinners and I'm fed up with that. Tonight's dinner was pasta which he eats!

We all finished our dinner and DS1 didn't touch his so I told him he'd get nothing to eat until breakfast now. DH said he could watch tv in our room. I said no.

I spoke to DH alone and he said he'd back me up but didn't think it was fair as DS1 had been at school all day and then swimming and he let DS2 watch some tv before he was going to change the channel but then dinner was ready.

In the time it's taken to write this DS1 has fallen asleep on the sofa! He has never fallen asleep in the afternoon. He has been getting up earlier than usual lately then had a full day at school followed by a swimming lesson.

Gah. This parenting malarkey is difficult and I don't know whether I'm doing the right thing.

Can anyone give me pointers on this? I won't let him go to bed hungry now although if he'd stropped all night I may have because I'm pretty stubborn!

Good luck OP. I'd discuss any new rules with your DH so he's onside, and then relay them jointly to your older DS gently. And go you for planning to reuse a table for meals with no screens for anyone. But do work through the swimming - or most sports - so there's something to keep him going. And if you're going to stop cooking several meals for each eater, then involve them in the planning.

You shouldn't be using food as a means of punishment!

I think you should hide the remote.

It's good for everybody to have quiet - adults as well as children. Solves the problem, then - you're less stressed, as there isn't that bloody racket going on from kids TV and adverts all the time, they're less stimulated when they need to wind down and you don't get the hysterical meltdowns over the fucking thing.

Is food usually ready at that time for when he comes in? I typically will feed them first, then homework, then tv is the treat. If he tantrums over dinner (which he used to a lot), fine - banana or Apple instead if he gets hungry later.