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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sell my nans ring(passed on to me) to fund a much needed holiday?

377 replies

happyandsingle · 04/11/2019 12:00

Basically this.Have an old diamond ring passed down from my mum it was originally my nans.
Have worn it for years but basically it only fits on one finger(that I think is meant to be the engagement finger or so I've been told) and I am most definitely single!.
It's a nice ring but my dilemma is I'm desperate for a holiday abroad next year for me and my dd.
It's been a shit couple of years and I've had one holiday in ten years paid for by my mum.
I could save but basically on my budget it would be very tight and would mean sacrificing a lot.
My idea was to pawn the ring to get the money for the holiday. I would probably feel guilty but on the other hand I'm sure if my nan was alive she would want me to make the most of it.
My AIBU is do you feel it's a bad thing to do as it was passed down to me? And will I feel guilty after?

OP posts:
Happityhap · 04/11/2019 12:45

You sound quite desperately in need of a holiday, OP.
Get it valued by someone reputable, and sell it if it's worth a lot.

StayClassySally · 04/11/2019 12:45

So why are you asking? You've obviously decided you're going to do it...

MulticolourMophead · 04/11/2019 12:45

LovePoppy I agree with you.

Skinnychip · 04/11/2019 12:45

An insurance valuation is nothing like what you would get if you sold something second hand. An insurance valuation is the price it would cost to replicate the item new. Selling something 2nd hand, a jeweller would give the scrap value of gold (which is comparitively high at the moment) and a small amount for diamonds. I don't know if you would get a much better deal from a diamond dealer.

fedup21 · 04/11/2019 12:46

No, I wouldn’t. Save.

amiapropermum · 04/11/2019 12:46

My engagement ring was valued at 6k but when my ex sold it he got about a sixth of that. I have tiny fingers so it would need to be resized which made it less valuable apparently. Antique/second hand rings lose their value just by being second hand. It doesn't add value to them. Get it valued in a couple of places and then see what it would sell for - two different figures. You seem pretty hostile at people giving you opinions that you asked for

reluctantbrit · 04/11/2019 12:46

I inherited an antique bracelet, got it valued for insurance purposes and looked into selling it.

No normal jeweler will touch it, for the antique ones it is not valuable enough, they offer only a fraction of its value.

I keep it and if I ever have the money I will take the stones out, sell the metal and get the stones re-set into something I will wear. Otherwise DD will get it and hopefully will have the money to do something with it.

BrendasUmbrella · 04/11/2019 12:47

Is your mother still living?

If so first port of call is her. Check she would be okay, and it wouldn't cause a rift. Maybe she'd even buy it back from you and keep it in the family?

If not, get some valuations. But not from a pawn shop unless you were hoping to buy it back. Take it to some jewelers, as it's a sentimental piece I'd say try three. And then either sell it to a jeweler or privately.

Sometimes a holiday is that badly needed, I understand! Ultimately you need to prioritize your dd over your dgm.

BubblesBuddy · 04/11/2019 12:47

None of us know how big the diamonds are either! Cut, colour, carat and cut will determine value. Size of band is irrelevant. If on all four Cs it is of little impact, then it’s worth little. If it’s 18ct gold or platinum and well made or even by a name jeweller, then it’s worth more. Old cut diamonds are not fashionable.

Getting another ring made with the diamonds (or one diamond) will cost £ hundreds. The ring would have to be made to fit the diamonds and you will pay VAT. If Nan was wealthy, then this could be a good ring. A picture would help evaluate this.

If you don’t like it and you won’t get it resized and the diamonds are poor in every way, then sell it. You won’t get much for it though.

Rainbunny · 04/11/2019 12:48

You could get it valued but be prepared that you very likely won't get much for it. I sold my engagement ring and wedding ring/eternity ring after I got divorced. I knew exactly what these rings cost when they were bought and what I got for them was shockingly little (and I'd prepared myself for a massive devaluation in what a jeweller would pay). I sold them at decent jeweller as well, not a pawn shop type place. Basically the band is only good to be melted down and may be good enough for that purpose - so all but worthless. Any small diamonds will be worthless and only if the centre stone - diamond or other type is of a decent size, clarity etc.I was also informed by the jeweller that round cut diamonds are the best for resale because they are more easily repurposed/refit.

Sorry, I hope you get good news but be prepared!

Yespleaselouise · 04/11/2019 12:48

Or look here on ways to boost your income for ways to keep the ring and take your child away.....

www.moneysavingexpert.com/make-money/

BubblesBuddy · 04/11/2019 12:48

Ooops: old cut diamonds are NOW fashionable. You need to know what you have.

Hefzi · 04/11/2019 12:48

OP, I pawned all my jewellery around twelve years ago, to attend an overseas job interview and tack on two extra days. I was on benefits at the time, and desperate (and hadn't had an actual holiday for over fifteen years at the time).

There were rings, bracelets and necklaces, with an insurance replacement value of over 15 grand. I got £800. Of course, I could never afford to redeem the jewellery, and I regret it to this day - it still crosses my mind every few days.

It wasn't worth it.

I found a job later that year, but too late to get my jewellery back. There were things my parents had given me, one or two things from a great aunt. It still can make me cry. You are desperate, I really get that. But with hindsight, I would swap two days in Oslo in a heart beat.

Second hand jewellery is worth only the scrap value, at the end of the day - a fraction of either its cost or its worth. Pawnbrokers won't always lend on diamonds either, so you might not be able to get more than gold scrap. And with selling at auction, it takes time, and the seller's premium is hefty - plus you still won't necessarily get more than scrap.

Holidays aren't the be all and end all for children - we went away two or three times in my childhood and very early twenties. I have barely any memories from those times, other than that they happened - yet lots from childhood.

I really would wait it out and save for a caravan/Sun vouchers/do overtime etc

LovePoppy · 04/11/2019 12:48

That ring is a token of love and toil

And isn’t using it for quality time with her daughter using it in the same vein?

AutumnCrow · 04/11/2019 12:51

You misunderstand my point, OP, which is that pawn shops will give you a fraction of an item's value. It's how they make money.

You said you are going to pawn it. I responded to that.

Marriedwithchildren5 · 04/11/2019 12:51

Oh sell it. Material or memories. Go for it.

katewhinesalot · 04/11/2019 12:52

I'd sell it in your position, if it will get you that much wanted holiday

BUT

also be prepared for it being less than you might think.

MumofTinies · 04/11/2019 12:52

If there’s other living relatives still around I think you should ask what they think first.

This too! Being the oldest, my sister is due to inheret a ring belonging to my great grandmother, if she sold it without first asking me and my sister we would be pretty upset.

meyouandlulutoo · 04/11/2019 12:57

We are in the process of downsizing. We have lived in our home for 35 years, since our children were small. I had fond memories of some of the stuff I have either passed to family, sold, or given to charity but I don't miss it. Have your ring valued, YANBU to want to take your DD on holiday.

Original poster
happyandsingle · 04/11/2019 12:57

Tbh I'm not a sentimental person maybe because life has made me quite hard?
I wasnt close to my nan she was foreign and lived most of her life abroad or in her own country so I didn't see her much.
But for some reason I would still feel bad so thinking of keeping it and just make the sacrifices for a holiday.
Thanks for the replies

OP posts:
Original poster
happyandsingle · 04/11/2019 12:58

My dd is 12 so would definitely remember a holiday.

OP posts:
qazxc · 04/11/2019 12:59

Maybe ask around your family first if anyone would want to buy it before you sell it.
I would rather buy back the ring or loan my daughter/sister/cousin the money rather than have the ring gone from the family.

ThatMuppetShow · 04/11/2019 13:00

Imagine the hardship that went into saving and buying that ring for your nan. You are the guardian of that ring for your daughter and her daughters to come. That ring is a token of love and toil it is not a trifle to be pawned and discarded for a holiday. It is a symbol of lives lived and love once had. It should be a beacon of inspiration.

OMFG!

Women in my family tend to have very happy marriage, mine included, but it's still just a ring... Not every man has to sell blood, teeth and organs to buy an expensive ring, my DH surely didn't!

TargaryenBean · 04/11/2019 13:00

A good few grand then maybe, a few hundred, nah, I'd make some lifestyle changes to pay for the holiday instead.

Lunde · 04/11/2019 13:00

There is a huge different between an valuation which is usually for insurance (the cost of making a new ring) and what is actually paid for second hand rings. You need to find out what someone would pay to buy the ring which may be a lot less than its "value" on paper.