That wanting and justifying are both valid arguments?

[Freddieiscomingforme]

Settle this for me please!

DH wants to go on holiday to an expensive, far away place.
He thinks as we can afford it, it's perfectly reasonable to just book and go.

I think that just because we can afford it doesn't mean we should.
I have nothing against his chosen destination yet also no great desire to go (neither does he, he wants to scratch it off his fucking foil map).

He says I'm being unreasonable with my argument of "I would like a jaguar xjs, we could afford it but couldn't justify it"

Is there a holiday (or alternative 'big treat') that you would like to do and he's not particularly keen on? If so, maybe you could do his choice this time and yours next time?

@LucileDuplessis

That's not really the point though.
He only wants to go because it's there! He has no interest in the country or the languages spoken there.

I've asked him to explain why, apart from your map, he wants to go and he has no answer.

He won't go alone or even consider going with someone else.

What is this foil map??

Justifying is a valid argument. Wanting is often greed in my opinion, as basic necessities such as food and shelter are needs not wants.

Well it depends if affording it means using all your savings or not. If you'll still have a decent sum of money for emergencies than I'm with him. What's the point in having money for the sake of having it? And surely any holiday is a want? No one needs to go on holiday. Stop being miserable and go see the world!

@LucileDuplessis, in novelty and some book shops, there are foiled maps and lists.

As you read a book, watch a film or go to a particular destination, you scratch the foil off like a scratchcard.

The goal being to scratch them all off.

@HugoSpritz

I do travel! A lot!

When I go to a different country, I want to learn about it. Talk to people, eat differently and discover new things.

He doesn't. He would happily go to the same boring hotel in a hot country and stay by the pool all day everyday.

If you can afford it and he wants to go then why not? I'm with him, sorry

Depends where it is and for how long. Why don't you want to go there?

Why on earth would you go somewhere that you both have no interest in just so he can scratch it off a foil map???? How stupid is that? Is he 12?

If you can afford to, tell him to go on his own and you go somewhere that appeals to you.

OP it sounds like you are being a travel snob.
If your DH wants to go and you can afford it why not ?
Your reasons for travelling aren’t any better or more ‘valid’ than your DHs.

@Freddieiscomingforme whats wrong with going on holiday and sitting by the pool?

Do you not understand diffeent people like to do different things on holiday.

You both like different things about holidays.

I'm with him, YABU

@Dontdisturbmenow

It's a very hot part of UAE, that is very conservative.

I just have no desire to go to a country where two women's opinions can only just compare to one man.

Wanting to go somewhere you have no interest in simply to tick it off a list is a stupid reason when you could go somewhere else that at least one person actively wants to go to.

Does he behave list a 9 year old in other ways?

@Lazypuppy

I have nothing against that for a couple of days but I do like to go outside the hotel and be amongst locals.

Eating local food, shopping in markets, exploring etc.
You can't learn about a country laying by a pool in a fake environment.

He just seems fixated on this country but when I ask why he can't tell me.

@Freddieiscomingforme not everyone goes on holiday to learn about the country. You come across as really judgy and snobbish, if anyone wants to do it different to you they are wrong.

You don't seem to want to learn about where he wants to go,you have already made your mind up.

I just have no desire to go to a country where two women's opinions can only just compare to one man.

I thought you said you like to learn about different cultures, yet here you are judging a country you haven't been to.

Shock horror, some countries culture are very different to ours.

He is actually a very mature, interesting, intelligent man.

He does like travel although he is not as well travelled as me.

He got the map in a secret Santa a couple of years ago and has been quite obsessed with scratching it off.
He is just going on and on about this country and he wants me to go (maybe he wants to kill me)

The UAE isn't overly conservative to be honest. Where does he want to go? Most head to Dubai or Abu Dhabi which have plenty to entertain outside of hotel swimming pools.

@Freddieiscomingforme
That's interesting. I was invited to go that part of the world a couple of years ago. I had never shown an interest in going there, but I take up any opportunity to go on holiday!

It turned out to be nothing I feared, as a woman I felt very respected, ironically more than in the UK! I had a great time not sitting around the pool but learning about the culture and doing things you can oy do in selected places.

How about giving it a try, you might be surprised at the experience of you keep an open mind.

I wouldn't go to UAE for a holiday, either. YANBU. There must be other places he hasn't ticked off that you'd actually enjoy visiting. And maybe somewhere you could have a 24 hour layover in Dubai to satisfy the demands of the foil map.

@Lazypuppy

Shock, horror that I don't want to go to a country where I have to have a reason to go outside?
I can't just go for a wander around towns and villages?
Where I have to have a man accompany me everywhere?

Like I say, I have no desire to visit a country like that.

DH wants me to go with him but cannot explain what is drawing him there.

Not hugely helpful I know but could you "arrange" for the map to disappear?!