That wanting and justifying are both valid arguments?

[Freddieiscomingforme]

Settle this for me please!

DH wants to go on holiday to an expensive, far away place.
He thinks as we can afford it, it's perfectly reasonable to just book and go.

I think that just because we can afford it doesn't mean we should.
I have nothing against his chosen destination yet also no great desire to go (neither does he, he wants to scratch it off his fucking foil map).

He says I'm being unreasonable with my argument of "I would like a jaguar xjs, we could afford it but couldn't justify it"

I'd only go if it was a short stop on the way to somewhere else I wanted to visit.
I could afford to visit pretty much anywhere but it isn't worth visiting places I have no interest in (cost and time taken up in going and planning). Unless you actually have unlimited time and money to not care if 2 weeks are a bit dull.
(I feel the sane about overseas weddings in places I don't want to visit, yes I can afford to go but I don't particularly want to spend my free time and money in it)

If its Dubai my parents went and loved it after having negative opinions before actually going

We've been to Dubai and Abu Dhabi.
This place is a lot nearer Yemen.

I wish I could hide the bloody map!
I just don't think it's unreasonable not to want to go to a place I have no desire to go to - for context I also have no desire to go to Las Vegas either but for very different reasons

Oh for what it’s worth OP I wouldn’t go to UAE either.

So I also take back my comment about you being a travel snob -
Sorry.

Convince him it'd be fun for him to fly alone and spend one night in a hotel in said country.
It will still cost but not as much, shuts him up and you still have money left over to book a 'proper' holiday - elsewhere on his map! He gets to scratch 2 off Aren't you the BEST partner 😉.

@ArabellaDoreenFig

No need for apology

@HalfBrick

That's what I've tried to suggest but he just won't have it.

I really want to do south sea countries and am actually excited at just the idea.

He is fixed on this place but seemingly for no real reason

Gah, the stubborn bugger!

You don’t sound much fun to be honest, you don’t have to have a worthy reason to go somewhere, just that you fancy going is reason enough.

Well it sounds crap tbh and also very random, so just tell him you’re not going there and be fonec with it.

be done with it!

it would be dead simple in my house, I dont want to go on holiday to this place so I am not going. I am with you all the way

So what is the real issue here? That he can’t ‘justify’ wanting to go, or that you don’t want to go? Would you go if he could justify wanting to go to an acceptable level? The issues you have with the destination would still exist.

Could you flip this on its head so that YOU do the justifying - i.e. justify why you don’t want to go?

To me the reason of not wanting to support the tourist industry of this country because of its treatment of women is a good justification.

You don't have to go if you don't want to. He should go alone if he's really set on it; if he doesn't want to that's his problem. It's weird that you're being evasive about the actual country.

The OP doesn't want to go (for whatever reason!) and that is just ad valid as her husband wanting to go...

I believe that their holidays should be enjoyed by both parents! Especially when it's clearly a lot of money to them... Why should the OP be fine with spending a lot of money on something she doesn't even want to do?

Find something you're birth excited about or don't go... That's at least my opinion.

It sounds like you don’t want to go there so that’s a reason not to go. If I had a grand and a week for a holiday I’d spend it somewhere I wanted to go and especially not somewhere I had the sorts of misgivings about that you’ve mentioned. And as you say he has no compelling reason to go. Yanbu.

*both partners. Not parents... 😅

We've been to Dubai and Abu Dhabi.
This place is a lot nearer Yemen.

Where the fuck is nearer Yemen in the UAE? I think you need to get a new map because no part of the UAE is near Yemen?

There also aren't countries within the UAE - the UAE is a country. Do you mean Oman?

I understand why you don't particularly want to travel in a country with very conservative attitudes towards women but I think that is what your argument needs to be based on, not just because it's a random choice - surely that's part of going on an adventure.

You're perfectly entitled to not want to go somewhere! He can go on his own if he's that bothered.

I understand why you don't particularly want to travel in a country with very conservative attitudes towards women

But she's been to Abu Dhabi and Dubai before. Now she doesn't want to go to a mythical part of the UAE near Yemen.

If Saudi, YANBU. I wouldn't go there. If Oman, friends of ours lived there and found it a friendly and interesting place with lots of natural beauty.

I know @HulksPurplePanties - I questioned where this place was in my post! However, there are places in the region that are much more conservative than Abu Dhabi or the UAE, if as Peccary notes it is Saudi for example then that is quite a different prospect for a woman travel wise.