That wanting and justifying are both valid arguments?

[Freddieiscomingforme]

Settle this for me please!

DH wants to go on holiday to an expensive, far away place.
He thinks as we can afford it, it's perfectly reasonable to just book and go.

I think that just because we can afford it doesn't mean we should.
I have nothing against his chosen destination yet also no great desire to go (neither does he, he wants to scratch it off his fucking foil map).

He says I'm being unreasonable with my argument of "I would like a jaguar xjs, we could afford it but couldn't justify it"

Are there no other countries he hasn't scratched off the map?

My 14 year old has one of those maps and sometimes suggests (half tongue in cheek) going to Australia because it's really big and a long way from the other countries she's scratched off so the map will look cooler... Answer is that's not a reason to spend 10k on a family holiday, she can go when she's a grown-up! Not sure how you address an adult in that situation except suggesting that they go alone, which you've already done...

If Saudi, then she is ok to have concerns (although there are loads of places in Saudi I would love to visit and intend to once they start allowing the sale of alcohol very very soon according to rumors check out their new tourism campaign. More UNESCO world heritage sites than Jordan)

If Oman, your foolish. Loads to do, people are lovely and very very friendly, the country is stunning with lots of hiking, camping, day visits.

However, neither Saudi or Oman are a part of the UAE.

Sometimes people are cagey about weird things on MN. Not naming the country but giving cryptic clues doesn't make the poster more or less identifiable, it's just irritating.

However the country is probably a red herring (unless he does have a secret far fetched crime/ dystopian Sci-Fi agenda...)

Surely the issue is spouses want different holiday destinations. One spouse wishes to approach the decision about where to go rationally, the other emotionally.

Rational decision maker wants to debate the pros and cons of destinations together before booking, and suggests solo travel to destination only one partner wishes to visit.

Emotional decision maker just wants to visit a specific country, doesn't want to or can't say specifically why, doesn't want to go without spouse who isn't interested in that holiday destination, and wants to just book and go together because they can afford it.

Very different mindsets and decision making processes are why they're butting heads, the root isn't the specific destination but the way of making the decision about whether to go.

Is there a compromise to be had? Use his preferred location as a stop over for a few days on the way somewhere else, he gets to scratch two places off his map, see the country he wants to albeit briefly, and you tolerate that for a few days knowing you are headed for your preferred destination

Does he want to go to Qatar and is it during the World Cup

If that's where and when he wants to go, avoid it like the fucking plague.

It doesn't matter what the country is or why she doesn't want to go there - it's her money too and if she is unwilling to spend a huge amount of it on this trip then she doesn't have to.
Her husband sounds like a total chump, wanting to spend lots of money so he can scratch something off a map. Who spends thousands of pounds on something they don't actually have any real interest in seeing?

It's anonymous forum. Just tell us where it is! I fucking hate all the "like this, but different" nonsense that you get on here!

I don’t see what the problem is if he wants to go and the money is there?

Even if it is just because he wants to scratch it off the map. Life is for living right? If the map seems important to him, why can’t you support that?

I don’t think either of you are being unreasonable. He understandably wants to go somewhere that you can afford and going to a new place is usually interesting. You don’t want to go there even though you can afford it, which is also perfectly ok.