Husband awol in Tokyo

[HeyThereDelilah1]

I feel like I’m going slightly insane, my husband is in Tokyo for the rugby - went with a friend I don’t know, but has been completely out of contact for nearly 24 hours - we’ve got two young children and he’s not answering calls and there’s been no communication whatsoever. Am I weird being worried? Potentially too much time on my own but I have a bad feeling...

Sounds like he may have lost his phone and has probably been too drunk to figure out that you'll be worried he hasn't been in touch.
I'm sure he'll be fine. Let us know when you hear from him though :)

If you do decide to contact the friend, you don't need to add him as a friend to message him on Facebook.

Is the phone ringing and not answering

This may sound as if it's easy for me to say, but I'd wait until late Monday afternoon before worrying and even then I would assume a missed flight rather than a worst-case scenario.

That's not to say I wouldn't be spitting feathers at his lack of concern for anyone else's feelings except his own.

Last night in Tokyo will have been crazy; he/his friend will have shacked up with loads of other Brits and it would have been copious booze in a loud/noisy bar with everyone being instant best friends - the Rugby crowd are lovely and not given to hooligan behaviour. I hope he makes his flight to Shanghai without issue.

Why would you feel like a stalker?

Do you have access to his finances? Could you look at this credit card statements and see if there's a hotel reservation or charge on it? At least you'd know where he's staying.

I don't think you should worry really.Your husband has gone away on this big trip for the Rugby, and it must be rather exciting to go there,and all that it entails. despite the outcome of the game !..

It just reminded me of many years ago, when I was married, my late husband used to travel all over the world for business, and was in the days before techno stuff and phones, and he went away for two or three weeks at a time,without any contact, and just had to wait for him to come home again.

will he be on his way back now?

Hope you hear soon

I think you are over reacting a bit. It’s a flying visit and an exciting time. The area is going to be inundated with visitors so phone reception will probably be patchy. And what good would knowing the name of his hotel do you? Sure, you could ring and ask to be put through to his room but if doesn’t answer (out on the town or fast asleep) it will worry you even more.

I have spent the last month travelling through SE Asia. It’s been a fairly spontaneous trip so I often don’t know on a Tuesday where I’ll be staying on the Thursday. We just book as we go. My DH might not even know what country I am in until I get some WiFi and can WhatsApp him. But he knows I am with a friend who would contact him if there was a problem or issue so he doesn’t worry. If (god forbid), there was a proper emergency like a muggging or natural disaster which meant neither of us could communicate with anyone, knowing the name and phone number of the hotel probably wouldn’t help him much.

I hope your DH contacts you soon and puts your mind at rest but for now try not to worry too much. In these situations no news is generally good news.

Drinking, crying, sleeping it off!

Completely natural to worry; send a message to his friend on messenger.

you dont need to add his friend on fb.im sure some still have the mesage function even if not friends?could you just send a quick message to say what you have here about no contact and being a bit worried.

Hope all is well and you hear from your DH soon, OP.
I know what its like to worry, though.

Just a thought, is it not considered extremely rude to use a mobile phone in places like bars and restaurants in Japan? I might be completely wrong though.

He's gone on the piss with a mate. Sure he's fine I'd rather not speak to my DH in these circumstances!

Wouldn't have hurt him to send you a quick text or facebook message though, so I'd be irritated rather than worried.

He'll have gotten drunk and be sleeping it off somewhere. Tokyo is really pretty safe as huge cities go so I'm sure he's fine, though he'll no doubt be regretting his choices when he has to fly with a hangover.

He's off doing his holiday thing in a completely different time zone. You let him go see rugby--which is very nice of you. I would just let it go.

Had something happened you would have heard from his friend. Tokyo is really safe. I hope you’ll hear from him soon.

chill

If his flight from Shanghai is due to arrive early on Monday morning he should be setting off for Haneda or Narita sometime soon to catch his connecting flight from Japan to China.

I'd say he'll likely turn up or be in contact soon, but this is a wake up call for you for the future - always have details of where he'll be staying, friend's name, an agreement on when he'll contact you, so there's less chance of you being in this (worrying) situation again. And no need to feel like a stalker! FFS he's your husband.

I'd put thoughts of him being unfaithful out of your head (of course, nothing is 100%) but if that was the case I would hope he's smart enough to not draw attention to himself by staying in regular contact.
Losing the rugby, getting pissed to commiserate, massive hangover, now that's a different matter.

I know how you feel though and I wouldn't relax properly until I had confirmation he was ok. I hope you have that comfort now.

Scary given his medical history I'm sure. Hope you hear something soon.

I hope he's been in touch.

Any update OP?

Hope all's OK.