To think that your household income doesn’t necessarily impact the amount of money you spend on Christmas on your kids

[Mammylamb]

Growing up we were not well off (council house, single income family). But at Christmas we got piles of presents. My parents must have spend hundreds on them (80s/90s). We had family members who had more money but their kids got a lot less than us at Christmas.

We are better off than I remember my family being and don’t spend a huge amount on our son (possibly because at a young age, he doesn’t really care as long as he has a few toys to open)

I just wondered if income really impacts how much people spend on things like Christmas and what the causes are of this

the stocking fillers can often be the most expensive, as well as most enjoyable and i always get the knickers/pants

Christmas costs us around £1000 per year but only about £100 per child on gifts. We do lots of days out in the run up, host a couple of parties and do a theatre trip, and often a mini break to somewhere with nice lights or a market.

We are able to do these things because

• we have access to transport
• we have prebooked shifts at work and not zero hour contracts where we have to take what we get offered
• we don't work weekends
• we have family around who want to visit us / come on trips with us
• we have a big enough house to host parties
• we have neurotypical children who can enjoy days out
• DH and I are still together so have all the kids all the time

A lower income family may spend the same or less than us on Christmas overall, but have no choice but to focus it on gifts as their access to experiences is less, and it's a way to make Christmas magical when other constraints stop the trips to church / panto / big Christmas dinner all together.

£1000?
no way

Our dc are grown up now but I went all out at Christmas as we were very well off.
I never bought tat or toiletries or anything necessary (like a bed). Just lots of lovely presents because I could afford too. I can't understand why you wouldn't if you have lots of disposable income. Now they're grown up I'm really glad I was able to spoil them every Christmas.

I probably spend around a grand too if you count the run up to Christmas with trips out.

Ice-skating, panto, cinema, meals out. Christmas is expensive with older DC and I'd rather spend money on these experiences than a load of presents they don't need under the tree.

I always seem to spend a lot at Christmas, irrespective of how much money I actually have in any given year.
When my DC were younger it was easy to get lots of presents without necessarily spending a huge amount on each - there were 3 for 2 offers in places like early learning centre etc. As they got older I'd be buying playstation games for £40 each which were tiny, so probably not such an impressive looking pile but tons of money was spent.
I grew up in a family without much money and we had lots of presents. DH grew up in a family with more disposable income and he also had lots of presents. I don't think there's any correlation between income and spending - I think it's more about attitude towards Christmas generally.

i cannot get into debt now

we have good memories of young dc loving their presents, caught on camera too

Ours will be over 1k just on presents

Ive just vaguely worked it out....no one tell dh!

I know a very well off family who only give their kids one present at Xmas and they sort of see this as a badge of honour, as if they would never spoil their kids. But they don't mention the 2 luxury long haul holidays the kids get every year, the super expensive cars they get driven about in, the family business jobs the kids step into, the ensuite rooms all the kids have.
They are never mentioned, but they like to think one present at Xmas keeps their kids grounded.

Poor childhood here and didn’t get much but that’s more about parents not caring. Certainly could buy huge amounts of stuff for DS but go the middle path really. When dc were babies and toddlers I never spent much. DS first Christmas at 9 months was enjoyed by him smearing Christmas pudding all over himself and being fascinated by the tree.

There is a mindset amongst some people on low income of buying expensive stuff to show the outside world and also making up for not having much the rest of the year.

I lived in an East London council estate. We had loads of gifts. My DM would put her self in debt for the whole year.

When I bought a lot of gifts for my DS, he was three at the time, he opened four of them and said “that’s enough now mummy, you are being ridiculous” I don’t need any more. Stop wasting all of your money.

is this a creative writing exercise?

we lived in a shoe box, in the middle of the motorway

YANBU OP. In most cases, the lower the income, the bigger the pile of presents.

We grew up very comfortably well off and DB and I always got one main 'sensible' present (e.g. a bike, a swing set, a musical instrument, a laptop) and maybe three/four smaller presents, usually books or clothes or perfume when I was older. My parents weren't big 'toy' givers - that was left to the relatives. They never entertained the idea of Father Christmas either, so we never got stockings. Christmas was always a bit miserable in our house to be honest, and even as a teenager I secretly longed for a bit of cheap rubbish to open.

DH grew up in a council house and his DM still reminds him to this day of the huge pile of presents he and DSIL used to get at Christmas. She goes way overboard with her grandchildrens presents now, even though we do try to rein her in a bit because we don't have loads of room in our house.

I think DH and I are somewhere in between. One 'big' present for the children (e.g. Playmobil set or a scooter etc), three or four smaller ones and then a stocking with a few cheap bits in. We try not to go overboard but I do constantly think about the miserable childhood Christmases that I had and try to get presents that are useful AND fun.

A big pile of christmas presents is a bit gauche!

😆 I knew there would be comments like this when I clicked on this thread but I did particularly like this one.

Sometimes poorer people who scrimp and save and don't have much money every day like to enjoy themselves with a blow out once a year?

I guess some put it on credit card, some save with specific Christmas saving places, others just save? Others get stuff second hand, from the ebay.

When we were poor er I got stuff from the free cycle, car boots charity shops... Lots of people do pre Christmas toy clear out.

Then we were able to save about 20 a month for it which helped. Now we save a bit more for it.. It's the days out which cost us alot.

A very rich family I know put themselves on an even tighter leach at Xmas.
They pride themselves on every penny saved. It sucks the joy for me.
Even people who cut back anyway or spend within budget don't need to talk about it all the time.

As a kid we were poor, dirt poor
We got bugger all come Christmas

Me and dp have always made sure dd got a heap, no matter our financial situation. Part over compensation of childhood, part we simply want to and enjoy it. If we can work our cash to do it, it don't harm anyone
Its been said once or twice that we spoil dd. To which me and dp both reply "yeah and?"
We won't even discuss how much we spent on her while on holiday and she didnt even come on this one as it was for me to go see WWE in Melbourne lol

We earn well but I love Christmas and make sure mine have what they want. I don’t wrap up things like clothes and toiletries and books that they just get as and when throughout the year unless they’re special for some reason as I see those are necessities and presents should be a frippery or a nicer version of something you’d usually have imo.

I was poor from a low income family though parent's were paying off a mortgage from the low income.
We never got loads of stuff. I knew as a child it was a stressful time financially.
DP grew up in a council house and got piles. My house was in the middle of a large social housing area so many of the DC got lots.
I will over spend on mine though I'm not going to borrow, DP and I don't get each other much, probably a 1000 between the two.

We have never spent very much, except one year on purpose for some needed tech.

My childhood was long before the days of tax credits and top up benefits. I was the child of divorced parents when divorce still held a stigma and no csa to turn to.
Christmas was a pretty lean time as mum just didn’t have the money to spend. I had a stocking at the end of the bed which would have my new socks and pants for the year in and a couple of presents under the tree. The presents would be the equivalent of a Poundland plastic doll and toy car.
My grandparents would get me some clothes and if in was really lucky and my dad remembered he had a couple of kids then I might get a cheap bit of tat if him too.
Christmas diner was a roast chicken. This was a big treat as usually if we had chicken it would be frozen chicken thighs. The rest of the meal was a standard roast diner. Pudding would be a bit of home made chocolate log which was a chocolate Swiss roll covered with a bit of butter icing. No fancy starters or 3 separate pudding to choose from. And the biggest treat was a bottle of coke for the kids to share.

I have always gone a bit overboard at Christmas. My kids are adults now and I still do but I can afford it and I don’t regret a penny of it.

It seems that it’s more to do with different social pressures, values and financial education than with actual income?

I work in an inner city school with a very mixed population of families. Amongst our lower income families we have a lot of educated but struggling for money families (like mature students and refugees) and some families who are deprived socioeconomically.

Some families seem to prioritise spending limited income on things like experiences, a bike or walking boots (we spend a lot of time outdoors at my school). Whilst it’s often (not always) children from socioeconomically deprived families who seem to be the ones always kitted out in less practical branded clothes and reel off lists of huge mountains of things they were given at Christmas and birthdays.

My parents were from poor backgrounds and had very little as children. They were comfortably well off during my childhood and they went absolutely nuts at Christmas. I know my brother and I used to not tell friends all that we’d received because we’d have have been given grief for being spoiled.

Different strokes for different folks....