To think that your household income doesn’t necessarily impact the amount of money you spend on Christmas on your kids

[Mammylamb]

Growing up we were not well off (council house, single income family). But at Christmas we got piles of presents. My parents must have spend hundreds on them (80s/90s). We had family members who had more money but their kids got a lot less than us at Christmas.

We are better off than I remember my family being and don’t spend a huge amount on our son (possibly because at a young age, he doesn’t really care as long as he has a few toys to open)

I just wondered if income really impacts how much people spend on things like Christmas and what the causes are of this

Since we have had children our income has doubled but I still stick with £100 each any more just seems like spending for the sake of spending. I dont remember what other family members got at Christmas but I will be honest its probably because my parents did do huge piles so i didn't need to care what other had.

We grew up with much less disposable income as a whole family than I now have just from my salary.

However our piles of gifts were larger than that of my children now.

We had lots of cheaper toys/gifts. (Many £1-£3 gifts) Whereas now my children have fewer yet perhaps more costly gifts (£25 ish price mark but maybe 3 gifts)
It possibly costs us more.

It is what is it.

I always had the assumption that if you were on the poorer end of the scale the big things were saved for Christmas. I grew up in a low income household, so if I wanted new trainers, new phone,bike,game console, anything fancy i was told wait until Christmas /birthday. Whereas I think if you're quite well off things like a phone up grade and expensive trainers are classed as essential so they are just brought when they're considered 'needed'. I always assumed if very well off people did not get lots of presents it's probably cos they went out shopping and treated themselves more than I would have been able to as a child. When tat is things like socks and bits of lip gloss etc it's not hard to imagine someone well off just throwing them in their basket at Tesco without a second thought any time of the year. Whereas if you have to live on very low means that would be something nice at Christmas that you wouldn't get very off

We are quite well off, and the kids get one tree present from us, and a stocking. Sometimes the tree present is expensive, but something they need, like a laptop or musical instrument, and otherwise it might be something like a big Lego set or a beautifully made chess set. The stocking usually has lots of sweets, a few books and some small toys and puzzles.

I think because no one is expecting any different, they don’t feel deprived.

I live next to a row of HA houses and the kids always get lots of presents for Christmas, DD doesn't get many but mostly because we really can't afford it, but always a few nice things she will really love. Wondered how they afforded it, asked (as we are friendly) and they said its all through those shop installment scheme things or on credit cards. I actually have never had a credit card as I'm always scared I couldn't pay it off so never occurred to me.

(Every family does Christmas differently, not commenting on what people choose to spend money on with my reply)

(*doesn't get many from me I should say. She gets loads from her dad and both sides of our families too)

I read a study (it's a little dated now) about women in poverty and one of themes the researcher found was that there was a lot of emphasis on Christmas, the women in the study went all out, sometimes taking out loans, going without for months beforehand to ensure there was enough to be a bit extravagant at Christmas. It was something to focus on, to look forward to, when their everyday lives were a struggle.

To add, this is very much my lived experience also.

Christmas was very slim as a child so I think t did used to correlate with income.

I don’t know anyone in real life who only buys one or two gifts like you often read in here regardless of income level.

Or, perhaps people just spend more on experiences these days. Or maybe we have passed “peak Christmas” and the amount of spending will go down going forward

We're presently low earners, I come from a middle class background where we got a big pile of stuff in glittery paper etc. DH came from a family where you had to steal your food a few times a month and hide behind the couch from the bailiffs.

DSS always has money (usually about £300), I spend about the same on DS across his birthday and Christmas although he's much younger. It is important to DH that DSS has it. It is important to me that they both have it.

Well you dont need so much at christmas if you get stuff all year round. I know you could spread it out but then theres not much excitement. If you have the excitement of a summer holiday and the excitement of big days out throughout the year you dont have a need to make christmas exciting. We used to get toiletries, underwear, new clothes, school equipment. It looked masses but it was stuff other people got spread out.

Maybe it also depends on how many other people will give the kids gifts too? My kids only get presents from me and their Dad. If they had grandparents, aunts and uncles etc who gave them gifts then I'd buy less stuff.

My observations are that it’s often (but not always) the case that the lower the income, the more that’s spent on Christmas. I know people earning barely above minimum wage spending thousands on their kids at Christmas, getting into debt to fund it.

I used to get a big pile at Christmas, low income, council home, lived on benefits.
But I got NOTHING all year, needed new pants, nope. Needed new shoes, nope. Wanted the latest CD, nope.
Every thing was kept till Christmas.
I buy my boys things when they need them, struggling with reading, I buy them helpful books for now. Struggling with talking, I buy them interactive play toys so we can talk together and learn.
They're not getting much for christmas because they don't need anything. They don't even really want anything.
I wouldn't say they're spoiled now, and some things will be save for Christmas as they get older (think games consoles).
But its just not necessary.

Also, I agree with the experiences thing. We've spent over £100 on a Christmas day out. Seems like something that will be remembered for longer and for all of us.

I came from a working class family and had a lot of presents at Christmas. My parents didn’t buy me very much throughout the year but at Christmas they went a bit nuts.

DP and I’s combined income is pretty high in relative terms but we won’t be spending hundreds and hundreds of pounds on our dd or his dc. It’s just unnecessary. We are going to have a family holiday though so it’ll be spendy but they won’t have hundreds of gifts to open.

Nobody is right or wrong I don’t think. As a parent you get to decide what’s right for your dc.

I think social media has a lot to do with the number of presents. Parents seem to vie with each other over the biggest pile of gifts they can post on facebook. Looking at some of them it must take the kids several days to open them all. When I was a child we had very little money. I had 1 main gift. One year it was a cheap second hand bike (equivalent of about £5 these days). I was thrilled. Then we would have a book, a game to share, some sweets and a new dress. Other family would give us clothes and sensible gifts. One neighbour one year gave me 2 pairs of bottlegreen knickers because I needed them for school. Oh the shame if I had to display those on facebook.

@Coldilox THIS!!

I haven't RTFT but that comment jumped out as being very 'me'.

I'm a single parent, with no contact with ex or his family, and it's just me & DS. He's 21 now, so I either give him cash + little bits, or ask him for a list. Tbh he says "nothing", so it's been cash for last few years.

Additionally, I self-gift too. Nobody else to get me anything, so I get bits & wrap up for me. As crazy as that may seem, i like to have something to look forward to opening.

[santa]

"Rich people stay rich by living like they're broke. Broke people stay broke by living like they're rich."

Saw this on fb. I never could understand why people who were not well off spent so much on presents and got into debt.

My dd is already saying give her newborn money rather than gifts at Christmas as it is such a waste

I don't think there is much correlation. I have done Xmas ott and Xmas subtle depending on the mood.

My dad wrote down all the presents he bought my brother and i in a little book which i now have

The cost of the presents does surprise me, its quite often £100+ and we are talking over 40 years ago in some cases

And i would have said that until the last few years we spent a similar amount while earning more money

Oops...posted too soon

We buy laptops and mobile phones and bikes throughout the year, im happy buying books for the children, clothes and some games throughout the year

So there is less ‘need’ for our Christmas presents to be either useful or necessary

of course it impacts, if you have more money to spare you have more money to spend on christmas?
dont really do too much comparison. my dsis used to spend more which caused me to overspend, the difference being they could afford it, we couldnt. and i have had bad times of putting chirstmas on a credit card, i am not alone in this - although no longer have any credit cards. Thank God.
I have a budget

The stocking fillers have always been really important to me for my DC. When I was a very poor single mum, with DS1, I always used to buy all pants, socks and pyjamas at Xmas to put in the stocking. I still do that now, as I hate filling it with tat to be forgotten and discarded. We tend to save buying a lot of things until Xmas that other people might buy through the year.