To think that your household income doesn’t necessarily impact the amount of money you spend on Christmas on your kids

[Mammylamb]

Growing up we were not well off (council house, single income family). But at Christmas we got piles of presents. My parents must have spend hundreds on them (80s/90s). We had family members who had more money but their kids got a lot less than us at Christmas.

We are better off than I remember my family being and don’t spend a huge amount on our son (possibly because at a young age, he doesn’t really care as long as he has a few toys to open)

I just wondered if income really impacts how much people spend on things like Christmas and what the causes are of this

I don’t remember as a child actually comparing the number of gifts with friends or family. Who does this ?

I think maybe it could be more to do with less income and the need to make up for it during xmas?
Very similar to you, we got alot during xmas.
Our situation now is that we are very comfortable and just do one or two toys. BUT we spend money on travelling/experiences rather. My ds is only 3 and gets stuff throughout the year so it's not one big pile at birthdays or xmas.

I grew up in a council flat and got tons of presents for xmas.

I think people with less money probably buy more presents because things like that seem important to them, even if most of the presents are just tat.

My Mum didn’t have much money but the whole living room used to be filled almost to the ceiling with gifts for my brother and I. We never respected any of it and most of it was just pointless cheap tat. It meant a lot to her to see us have 100 presents for some reason even though she struggled to afford it.

I’m financially comfortable but don’t buy my DC much. I prefer to buy them a few things they will genuinely love and use.

We aren't short of money, and don't spend excessively at Christmas. We buy throughout the year though as and when things are needed. I also buy fewer presents but good quality. One main present rather than lots of litttle bits.

I've noticed that more affluent families seem to have less toys. In comparison, I buy a lot of second hand/ nearly new toys off FB and always seem to collect from council flats and less well off areas. Strange.

My parents were not well off but they both worked and had a mortgage.

The time I got a bike it was second hand, I didn't care, I have lovely memories of riding my new to me bike on christmas day.

We had a sack of presents, not a stupid amount and not a stingy amount. A main present, a couple of medium presents and stocking filler and pants!

It's been different for me over the years. Some years I've just simply not had enough money to buy a lot of gifts, it just wasn't there. And I wasn't willing to put myself in debt to catalogues and credit cards because I was already struggling so that would have been madness. But other years I'd managed to save a bit, or worked 6/7 day weeks in December for extra and could afford more, although I knew the extra would drop off after Christmas and in terms of increasing my household income over a year it added up to about £300 more than I would have earned with those hours.
It was the guilt of living very frugally day in and day out that made me want to spend a lot on my DD at Christmas, we've both gone without through the year and when I had the opportunity to make up for that to her I did. I don't think I'll forgive myself for the years when I just didn't have the money to do it, I still feel appalling about it now and it was over 10 years ago.

I really do think there is an inversion with this. Higher family income/fewer gifts at Christmas. Lower family income/many more gifts.

I got loads of Christmas presents as a kid and literally not even so much as a new pair of pants through the year (poorer working class family).

We give one gift from Santa, a small stocking from Santa and maybe 4 or 5 small gifts from us. Max.

However we replace bikes at the start of summer if needed, buy them clothes as needed in the year, and buy books most months.

It's often fairly clear (from MN threads at any rate) that lots of pretty financially comfortable middle class parents give their dc fewer presents and regard massive piles of gifts a bit tacky and unnecessary. The same seems to apply to buying expensive prams and clothes for babies and children.

It depends on so many things as well as money.

Culture - you might come from a European country where you get presents from the three kings on the 6th Jan.
Child centredness - Whether you think Christmas is mainly about children or not.
Religion - whether Christmas is primarily a religious festival for you or a cultural one.

For us, its a religious as well as a cultural/family festival and DC get a few good presents rather than lots of things to open but grown ups get presents too (to teach about giving/sharing and because presents are nice)

People don't necessarily spend the same or similar proportions of their household income on Christmas, no. Also makes a big difference how old your children are. Parents of teens are going to spend a lot more than parents of babies on average.

I think if you’re fairly well off you do buy stuff all throughout the year so no need to go large at Christmas.

I hate to think if the pressure that Christmas puts on poorer families - adults and kids alike.

I have a 2 and a half year old (who I waited a very long time for) and I am really enjoying choosing some gifts I know he’ll love. Not going to go overboard. We’re middle income and will probably spend £200 on some toys (he loves Schleich animals), books and clothes/trainers (going to choose things ‘he’d’ like - Dino/monster/animal motifs etc

Incidentally, we didn’t have much money growing up and our present pile was very modest!

I used to get a chocolate selection box, woollen scarf and gloves, a toy and a book. We were poor, too poor to waste money on tat.

I think some people feel spending money on particular brands or having a certain number of presents proves something.

I don't know how many presents my friends got. Or how much the presents actual cost (total). How would I have known?

My parents were generous but not excessively so. Maybe one big and a medium to large gift from them...
And then what mumsnet would classify as medium gifts from adult family members... And smaller items from other children.

The adult relatives decided fairly early on that money would be more appreciated and less of a hassle btw.

Buuut I would say that we already got small gifts during the advent and from Saint Nicholas 🤷🏻‍♀️

Those gifts were goodie bags with Clementine, nuts or chocolate or books where our parents read us a chapter everyday leading up to Christmas etc....

But Christmas really was extremely family and not mainly gift centered in my family... (still is, I'd say.)

I watched TV show about this a few years ago, the general consensus was that ‘poor’ people scrimp all year so they like to to splurge at Christmas and buy to compensate the rest of the year.

The same family won't do the same every year too.

The year I started secondary school DBro and I got a computer to share as I'd need it for school.

The next year we were abroad visiting relatives and only got a few small things like books that would fit in a suitcase.

@Finfintytint. Unfortunately I did! I felt so sorry for my cousins who lived in a big posh house as they only got a couple of things at Christmas.

Misplaced sorrow then. Things don’t make Christmas. Much more to it than that.

I’ve seen this when I was younger. Money was very tight for lots of my relatives, but they always saved and saved for Christmas and gave lots of presents to their children (not tat though) and bought loads of lovely food. They were super generous with others too. Christmas was always absolutely massive.

A big pile of christmas presents is a bit gauche!

I love Mumsnet. Every year there are threads saying buying lots of presents for DC is basically common, or competitive stinginess - “My DC gets a pair of socks and a lump of coal and is bloody grateful for it, they much prefer singing carols round the piano that getting new toys.”

Who gives a shit what people get their kids? I’m middle class, I grew up in an affluent family, I got lots of presents. I buy my son lots of presents. Look down on me if you want just stop going on about it!