To think your marriage might be over if you have separate rooms?

[Hazza000]

Hubby snores on his back. He says he can only sleep comfortably on his back not his side. If he's on his side it stops but he naturally keeps rolling onto his back while he sleeps. This ends in a jab in the ribs from me when the noise starts up again.
It has led to some ferocious arguments and recently he slept in the spare room after which I said I felt if that continued all intimacy is lost and it's the beginning of the end of our 25 year marriage.
After this he bought an anti-snoring mouth guard which worked like a dream but last night he refused to wear it anymore as it's uncomfortable. He suggests I wear ear plugs which I will now try. I have also asked him to try the nasal strips but he is not keen. He wants to move into the spare room for good and I feel this will be the end of our marriage - or the beginning of the end. He is 54, not overweight at all and does not drink alcohol. We are both exhausted and arguing. AIBU?

My dad was the loudest snorer imaginable, and then he got those nasal strips, they changed his life and my poor mums. I don't know about the issues in your marriage because it sounds like it's not just the separate room thing, but I know if me and DH had separate rooms it actually probably wouldn't affect our intimacy, there's other ways to maintain that. But I've only been married 15 years so maybe after 25 it would be different. Hope you can both come to an agreement but those strips are worth a try.

Absolutely not. My partner snores. We don't live together and we may never. If we do it will be separate rooms all the way. You can still be intimate before or after sleep! My mum and dad have been in separate rooms for years due to snoring and they are one of the happiest couples I know.

I have the same problem but it's me that ends up sleeping in another room and I wonder sometimes about making it permanent. Ear plugs don't really work. It's much worse when he's had a few drinks although he's not overweight.

If having separate rooms to sleep mean you both get a proper night sleep then that isn’t a bad thing. There’s plenty of ways to be intimate and fighting all night probably isn’t one of them!

Nonsense. DH and I have slept in separate rooms for the last fifteen years. There is no problem with our marriage, no lack of intimacy. We just both like our sleep.

Separate rooms here as well. Definitely saved our marriage as I no longer want to suffocate him when he snores!!!

It's made our relationship closer. Kicking the OH out made him realise the extent of the problem and he's finally acting upon it. I did feel like it was the beginning of the end at first but so happy it has been beneficial instead.

Blimey, hope not! 35 years married, separate bedrooms for the past 10 years and we're still as besotted. Well I am. I think he is!

I don’t know, my in-laws sleep in separate rooms and have done for well over 10 years apparently, and they seem perfectly happy.

You probably find you like him more after a full night's sleep! I don't see why not sleeping together (as distinct from your sexual relationship) should affect your marriage.

We have separate rooms mainly due to our huge dog sleeping on the bed and my menopausal night sweats and thrashing about.. we have a very happy marriage with no problems.

My dad snores and my parents have had separate rooms for decades. They've been happily married for 51 years now!

Nonsense! Sleep. Is so important and you just do what you have to do. You can still have a close and intimate marriage.

We've just bought a bigger house so I can have my own room. We have sex as much if not more (sorry tmi) and we are far far less pissy with each other. It is bliss.
We pay the mortgage, the children don't, so why do the they get their own rooms and we don't?
HM The Queen and Prince P have always had separate bedrooms. IF it's good enough for them...

You don't even see each other when you sleep, why would yhat have an impact? Surely it's what you do with the time that you are awake?

There’s no rule that you have to share a house, never mind a room or bed, to have a good relationship.

My husband and I sleep in separate rooms. We both sleep well. We're very happy and in love.

Sounds like a good solution for you op

It absolutely doesn't mean the end in a happy marriage. My grandparents had separate rooms for years and loved each other deeply. If I were to have a partner I think I'd prefer separate rooms because I hate sharing a bed, and never get a decent sleep from it.

Gosh- this is reassuring to hear many others do it.
Separate rooms here too, and it works for us.

I will never sleep in the same room as my DH ever again unless in a hotel or on holiday etc.

I like to sleep. He snores like a bull.

We have always had separate rooms. We adore each other and have a good sex life. I quite often sleep in his bed but it's nice to have my own space

Separate rooms improved our marriage. Think of how many bickering rows are caused by tired snappy people! We are forty and anyone who hears we have separate rooms is a bit 😕 but tbh it has given us both great nights' sleep now. I like to read in bed, husband likes to watch TV, I disagree with TV in bedroom. He snores very loudly. He says I do, but I refuse to accept that! He has a chronic illness meaning he gets up in the night. I get up an hour before him for work and me bangibg around would wake him. We still spend time together, we still have a great sex life, we are still intimate. It really can help and not spell the beginning of the end.

Sleep deprivation will kill your marriage faster than separate bedrooms.

Definitely not. Sleeping in the same bed, but neither sleeping well is going to cause both parties to be tired, argumentative and generally unhappy.

I guess it depends on the routines and habits you form around the 2 rooms. Sex can still happen, cuddling, planning a life together - it's just the unconscious sleeping part that is separate... and you'll be much happier when you are better rested.

I think a marriage can still thrive whilst sleeping in separate rooms.