To think I've made a terrible mistake???

[stilltiredinthemorning]

My daughter is 4 in December. It is the first year she's really got excited/understood about her birthday and asked about a party/cake etc. I find hosting things at home REALLY stressful and horrendous so have booked a hall round the corner and a bouncy castle...

In a period of excitement (I have form for this kind of thing) I have invited not only everyone we know with young kids (about 15 kids) but also a further 10 children from her nursery and new pre-school. I don't know ANY of those children or their parents.

My parents in law are also coming and I find them difficult (they are difficult, but I also need to chill out a bit).

I am now totally panicking that it's going to be at least 25 children and is going to be really hard to manage... My husband and parents actually warned me not to do this as I get incredibly socially anxious and make everyone's life a misery by being stressed out and horrible. I did it anyway (problems with impulsively, whole different thread...)

I have actually cancelled parties in the past because I've been panicking so much, but obviously can't do that this time.

Is this a totally ridiculous number of children to cater for? Can I make it bearable?

How many adults are helping out?

My parents will be there, my husband and his parents and my best mate. My Mum, husband and friend will be helpful, the others not so much... We also have a VERY lively 18 month old. I'm assuming parents won't be expecting to drop off though???

25 kids is fine! It's less than a classroom and teachers manage on their own. Honestly, I've had a similar amount or a party and it doesn't actually feel that many.

You'll need something other than a bouncy castle though to keep them busy! You can't have 25 kids on a bouncy castle! Have you got other toys/activities? Such as a toy kitchen, ride ons, arts and crafts, games, etc?

Well, thinking about it lots of my friends will be there, but obviously all of them will have at least one child with them and I'm not sure how much help would be reasonable to ask for?

You could always search for a children's entertainer or party host. They run it all whilst you sit back and enjoy a cup of coffee... Or glass of wine....

Tbh, it less the children that worry me, it's all their parents!! I worry far too much about what people think of me, so I'm panicking about every little detail already...

Don't think I can afford an entertainer... Was planning on party games, but am imagining pass the parcel etc. with 25 kids might be hard? Honestly just the thought of it all is freaking me out. I am not the calm, manage it all type Mum. I don't know why I do this to myself! I know once kids get to school asking the whole class can be the norm, but we've never been to parties with more than 10-15 kids. (And, we've been to a lot of parties)

The parents will sit around and supervise their own children. The parents will be in the kitchen area sorting out the food and drinks. You don't often see them throughout the party. So you can just hide away send DP out to deliver cups of tea etc.
Then be on hand to deliver party bags. Job done

No one would drop off- Ive been invited and attend parties from other nursery parents, didn't know them at all, certainly wasnt going to drop my toddler and run.
My advice: Keep it short 2 hrs max- make food easy, baby shark on repeat- done!
Oh and please dont leave the cake on display, one of the parties i went to proudly displayed the peppa pig cake in the middle of the table of food, me and a lot of the mums spent the party stopping our kids touching the damn thing.

STOP!

Mums will be happy to chat to each other’s
Your friends will help watching kids and setting up the table - if they’re busy grab another mum. Some will do so instinctively - if people want to help - let them

Tell DH he’s on tea duty, take coffee tea bags milk and reusable cups - then he’s on cake and candles

Tell DM she’s on toddler watch

You organise the food and drinks - try those 10p cartons so little spillage

Have quick food in bowls - little sausage, crisps, biscuits and sandwiches

Mums will help their own kids and probably yours

You won’t have time to chat anyway - deep breath

You aren't responsible for the parents. All they need is a cup of tea, and ideally somewhere to sit and chat.

Do simple games for the children: musical statues, musical chairs, pass the parcel, with little prizes for the winners. Plan when they will all sit down for tea. And yes, have other toys and things around because they can't all go on the bouncy castle at once and some will get bored of it quickly.

You have a bouncy castle that's the entertainment. Whack some balloons and music on and you are sorted. Pass the parcel takes forever and ends up with at least a few kids crying.
If you do want to do some games stick to things like musical statues nothing that needs turn taking.
That said I went to a 4 year old party with a pinata and that killed a good half hour or so everyone got a couple of whacks in and it was quite fast moving

Just focus on your daughter on the day. She will be having the time of her life.

Anxiety runs in generations because it's learned - this is an opportunity to break that.

You should be fine as at that age I expect the parents will stay and supervise. The only hint I would give is to make up a sign on how many on the bouncy castle at one time. Just to save on accidents. I may just be being over the top though

It'll be fine - it's less than a whole-class party that a lot of people do in Reception. They'll spend most of their time on the bouncy castle. Blow up a ton of balloons for them to play with as well, have some pass-the-parcels ready and try not to worry. Parents will hover and look after their kids at that age.

I’ve done parties for 40 with one bouncy castle at this age. I did also have an entertainer and deflated the Castle for the duration.

Blow up a bunch of balloons. The children will play with these. You won’t have 25 kids on there at once. They’ll be playing with the balloons, each other, dancing, having a rest, sitting on their parents knee etc etc.

Do a few party games. Musical statues, musical chairs, sleepy lions type stuff. Pass the parcel will be very stressful with that number so I would advise against.

After the games, there’s food then cake, quick bounce on the castle if you are running early then home time. With that number of adults, it won’t be hard. Just make sure you have enough food and drinks.

Hire a kids entertainer.

Do not try and do pass the parcel with 25 kids!

Most parents will stay so stop panicking. It will be fine!
I did a party for 45 a few weeks ago (a whole class, cousins and friends children) and we managed.
I always stick a tray of pastries, little cakes and grown up juice out for the adults too and find it keeps them happier 😂

If she is turning 4 and at nursery I'd expect lots of parents to stay. Have a table of craft and maybe do a dancing competition or bubbles at the end while you get the rest of the stuff tidied up. I'd also have pass the parcel or something at the ready in case they needed quietening down. Sleepy lions is good too.

It’ll be fine! Mine are 5 and 4 and we’ve done ‘big’ parties (20-30 kids) for both of them since their 3rd birthdays.
I usually set up a craft table, hire a bouncy castle, do some games and let them dance around with balloons at the end. Always worked fine!

It will be fine.
We regularly did 'BIG' parties up to the age where parents dropped and left, then we changed down to just a handful of friends and cinema/meal out.
Its 100% easier if the parents stay as they look after their kids and chat and steal party food.

Why not? It's fine. If you worry about them getting bored, have two parcels going round at the same time.

How long is the party? How many can be on the bouncy castle at one time?

4 year olds are unpredictable and some will be younger. If possible I would do bouncy castle, plus toys (have out duplo and any other toys you can bring) and colouring in table for 30 mins.

Then do games for 30 mins. Don't do pass the parcel, it will take ages with 25 children and will be a nightmare to wrap. Do musical statues, keep the balloon up in the air to music, corners (put a coloured balloon in each corner and when the music stops they all run to a corner, you then pull out of a bag a colour and children on that corner win), sleeping lions (just before tea), dancing competition, simon says, duck duck goose etc. Don't have any losers (they get bored waiting at the side) but have a big bowl of smarties for any 'winners' to pick from.

Then last half hour have tea/lunch and birthday cake.

If you have more time afterwards turn the bouncy castle back on.

If you are super busy (bustling around with children, doing games, being very busy all the time even if unnecessarily) the parents will leave you alone. Get Dh to do teas and coffees for parents.

Have a written down plan on a clipboard (give one to your mum as well so she knows what you need her to do) you can keep referring to it and if anyone tries to engage you in conversation just look at the clipboard and say "sorry, got to go" in the manner of a very busy and important person

Oops that was long and probably unnecessary, but I don't like speaking to the parents either and find if I have a plan and an air of busyness I get left alone.

Can you do a big box or bin filled with a lucky dip? You could make the prizes things they can play with straight away - big bouncy balls, bat and ball on elastic, kazoo/whistles, spinning tops etc.

DS is nearly 4 and not keen on the noise of bouncy castles, we recently went to a birthday party like the one you describe and he played with an inflatable basketball hoop they'd set up. Without the other activities on the side he would have been stuck.