To think I've made a terrible mistake???

[stilltiredinthemorning]

My daughter is 4 in December. It is the first year she's really got excited/understood about her birthday and asked about a party/cake etc. I find hosting things at home REALLY stressful and horrendous so have booked a hall round the corner and a bouncy castle...

In a period of excitement (I have form for this kind of thing) I have invited not only everyone we know with young kids (about 15 kids) but also a further 10 children from her nursery and new pre-school. I don't know ANY of those children or their parents.

My parents in law are also coming and I find them difficult (they are difficult, but I also need to chill out a bit).

I am now totally panicking that it's going to be at least 25 children and is going to be really hard to manage... My husband and parents actually warned me not to do this as I get incredibly socially anxious and make everyone's life a misery by being stressed out and horrible. I did it anyway (problems with impulsively, whole different thread...)

I have actually cancelled parties in the past because I've been panicking so much, but obviously can't do that this time.

Is this a totally ridiculous number of children to cater for? Can I make it bearable?

Sorry, that was about the comment not to do pass the parcel with 25 kids.

I think the party will be fine and you'll do well.

Next year take her out somewhere with a few friends, have a meal like pizza or something most children like.

Sometimes bouncy castle hire companies hire extras out. At the same age for my daughter we paid an extra 25 and got 5 ride on toddler scooters, 5 ride on foam donkeys and a hoopla. Went down a storm! Party games will be very stressful, I wouldn't

About half probably won’t come, you’ll be fine 😂

If you have any dressing up take that too. A friend of mine did this and the kids loved it

I am sure it will be fine OP. The other parents will stay, surely, to look after their own kids?
Just make sure you have lots of games/activities planned - google has loads of ideas. Or, hire an entertainer (my preference lol).

This is really helping everyone, thank you . I feel like if I really prepare in advance and have a plan (on a clip board > then I might have some chance of actually enjoying it and not being a total arse to my poor long suffering family...

I love the luck dip idea!

It's a big room so I might see if I can borrow a few ride ons etc. we have loads of pretend play type stuff (kitchens etc.) and blocks, etc.

I seem to remember I had a screaming tantrum and was completely overwhelmed at all my parties, so times haven't changed much!

We had 20 kids and a bouncy castle. No party games as I don’t think they are really that easy to do until maybe 5

Ooh, love the dressing up idea too!!

You can do pass the parcel, just split them into two groups and have two parcels.

A piñata can be good. Pass the parcel, musical bumps, and have lots of balloons blown up for them to play with too.

Food takes roughly 20 minutes, make sure you’ve prepared everything beforehand to save stress at the party.

Give the helping adults clear jobs, eg mum making parents drinks, DP responsible for setting up table etc for food and then you can make sure kids are all fine without stressing about other things.

Have fun. Have some wine ready for afterwards!

Easy! Bouncy castle time for 30mins, deflate it and put out craft/toys/pass the parcel for 30mins, bouncy castle or food. Done.

I have a dd with a December birthday, and it is such a busy time for people generally that many people are not free to come to a party. We have usually had about 1/2 to 2/3 of the people we invited.
Of course you need to assume at this stage that they will all say yes, but I think it is unlikely, as there are Christmas fairs, relatives to visit etc etc. Also lots of colds etc going round then. With most parties there will always be a significant number who can’t make it. I reckon you will end up with twenty at most, probably more like 18, which is fine, and fun. It goes very quickly too !

I think Kids normally take of themselves and at that age just being together outside school will be fun. As for parents ( and I am only talking about me but think it does apply), I dont really require anything. Most will happily chat or if you request it help in anyway you suggest.
I understand the pressure that parties seem to take on with entertainment but I think everyone feels the way you do at some point.

Having been a co organiser of one of these bashes before, I think everyone’s got you covered!

Clipboard with a plan
Bouncy castle, dressing up corner, crafty/drawing table (well stocked) - beads and string for necklaces will be popular! Masks to decorate and wear possibly
See if the bouncy company have any soft play type things to hire out too as it will spread the children.
My friend who I helped hired cars and bikes but I don’t recommend this as it led to multiple arguments over who’s turn it was, one child hogged a car the whole time, and they won’t stay in the designated area.
Have games ready, but also be ready to ditch them. We started with musical statues to get a few for how they would be. Children who were out got given a “police hat” and had to patrol round the remaining children to “help us”
We also did pinjata, occupies a good 20 mins half an hour.
Bubble machine will keep many entertained for the whole duration.
It will be fine!

If you do pass the parcel make 2 and split children into 2 groups. If you have a bouncy castle you will only need a couple of games anyway. For food I would make each child a ‘packed lunch’ put a sandwich, bag of crisps, carton of juice and a chocolate biscuit or similar in a brightly coloured paper bag and hand them out. I nicked this idea from another Mum and it’s much easier that making a buffet and there is not as much waste!

Say party is 1hr 45 mins (personally I'd stick with 90mins at that age)

15 mins: kids arrive free play castle / colouring / balloons / ride on toys etc
30 mins: games - CD player. anything musical that gets them dancing, musical bumps / corners / statues, funkiest pose etc. Simon says / pirate game. anyone who wants can bounce on castle for one game. sleeping lions. final game of follow my leader finishing at the food.
30 mins: food & cake. personally I bring out savoury stuff first and then a bit later the more treaty stuff. some children have no manners and will grab handfuls of sausages if allowed, so pre-done plates initially (plus choice of sandwich) might actually cut down on total waste. Mini bags of hoola hoops etc. Cake - you must cut the same cake you sing to. You cannot have a 'display' cake and then a cheaper one to go in party bags.
15 minutes: more games but a bit less bouncy, whatever was popular in the first half. In parallel your helper cuts cake and adds to party bags.
15 minutes: free play, party bags and home

OP, you will be fine if you calm down, sit down, and plan it all out based on the great suggestions on this thread.

The other part of this, of course, is to stop and ask yourself why you don't learn from your past mistakes, and not do things you know make life miserable for you, and others you care about.

Hopefully getting through this will show you that planning and hosting a kid's party isn't the big deal you've built it up to be. Yes, it takes some effort and organising and you'll be glad when it's over, but it's not overwhelming, it's something people manage to do without any drama.

But why not also spend some time recognising these things you do that cause you - and everyone around you - to be unhappy, anxious and miserable?

I would struggle to live with someone like that, so instead of continually making the same old mistakes, stop.

We did this many moons ago for around 50 kids in the end and as pp's have said, organisation is key. Much of what we did has been mentioned but one additional thing was to provide a quiet corner as some kids can get overwhelmed. This was just some cheap colouring books and crayons, some age appropriate little toys like cars, dolls and the like.

You will be absolutely knackered after so make sure you've wine in the fridge and a take away menu to hand once you're done. And good luck!

some great ideas on here. I second speaking to the bouncy castle company and see what else they have. BTW deflating it isn't a good idea unless you can keep the kids off it, as otherwise you'll get expensive damage. You are expected to supervise and limit the numbers on it, and kids only. Delegate this to someone.

food simple, small bits and cold.

two hours arrive to leave is plenty - tell them you have the hall for less time than you do to get rid of everyone in good time.

expect some guests to be in tears, some to fight and some to have a great time. As long as all those are kids, it's fine!!

Best thing I did at a kids party - instead of buying normal party bags I bought a whole load of paper bags with handles. I set up a table with crayons and large tubs of stickers. This went down very well, every child had their own personalised bag!
Didn't have all the children doing that at once though, we had a bouncy castle and some toys out too.
Make sure there's drinks for parents - tea coffee etc. That's all most seem to want.

Oh my god yes book an entertainer ASAP you'll o nuts having 25 kids under 5 without any kind of focus.

Pass the parcel - agree about giving that a miss with that many, and don't do two because then you can't 'fix' it so all get a go at opening. I think it will be fine though and you can just focus on the children so don't have to worry about socialising with the adults. Oh a game that just sprung into my head - having 2+ teams and a pile of winter clothes each (hat, scarf, gloves) at the opposite side of the hall, then race to see which team can all get clothes on then off again and run back to their team. Simple but they love it.

It'll be fine dont worry.
Stop worrying about what other parents think of you. Thats a headfuck to nowhere.
I was like that for almost the whole of my DCs school lives but now I'm in my fifties and wonder what the heck I was worried about. Its a waste of your headspace.
Good luck!

Some of my most successful parties in the two decades of hosting them have involved a giant roll of paper from IKEA and crayons or chalks. Either roll out one long piece and the kids work en masse or cut up large pieces, get an adult to draw round prostrate child and then they can colour themselves in.

I find that there will always be a couple of kids who get overwhelmed with it all, my ASD DS included.

Having a quieter activity helps enormously I find.

You're going to be fine, I love the clipboard idea. As long as you prepare beforehand and for me this involves lots of lists and crates lined up in the hall which get filled in the run up to the party.

Happy birthday to your DD! I'm a December baby too and it's a lovely time if it isn't too Christmassy themed. Keep party bags simple. I bought the sticks for balloons and blew lots up beforehand. Each kid gets a balloon, a piece of cake and something else like a chocolate reindeer or book or bottle of bubbles. Book people are great for stories. Try The Works too. With that many children party bags can be expensive, keep it simple.

And have fun!!!