To not wish MIL a happy birthday?

[bubblesforlife]

Well that really.
I’m recently married and I’m not feeling the love from my new in-laws, in particular my MIL! We used to get on really well until I got engaged to my now DH. I then learned through a series of events that they (and she) were not as keen on me as we had originally thought.

During the wedding build up, day and afterwards, I found her cold and unwelcoming. I guess I didn’t make a huge effort to approach them either in the end, admittedly.

We live far away so I don’t see her often.

We used to text on each other’s birthday. I don’t really want to send that text anymore. DH has sent a gift and a card from both of us. He is is travelling to see her this weekend as it’s a big birthday.
Can I skip it from now on, is that mean?

'It's a small thing, but I'm tired of being the bigger person in this relationship! Not texting is me being rebellious and showing her i'm not going to keep being nice when she doesn't try!'

Well done for sending the text. She's trying too- she texted you back nicely. If you both keep at it, this rift could soon be in the past. xx

This is one of those threads where I would love to hear the other person's side.

"Bubble of happiness', 'day 2 festivities' and 'white wedding' are all adding up to Bridezilla to me.

This is one of those threads where I would love to hear the other person's side

Yes I would too. Bet it’s nothing like this version

I just add my happy birthday comments to my mil Facebook page on the day, under my other halves.
Any present card is from both of us (even if he pays, like I do for my folks).

So you’ve sent a text and she’s replied? All done and dusted for the year. Another text at Christmas and family relationships are maintained without any big dramas. Unless you particularly enjoy living in an episode of Eastenders it sounds like the perfect outcome.

Not sending it this year might just have been a gentle reminder that I’m may not always be nice, as being nice is a 2 way street

No. That's just overthinking (and frankly, pretty nasty and threatening)
This woman is going to be part of your life for the foreseeable future. You used to get on.
You can choose to have your life full of drama and unpleasantness, or you can take the high road, put the past behind you and actually benefit from a more pleasant atmosphere. It's not as though you have to see her often.
But it seems you're out to punish her, and that will not end well.

What's really nice here, is that, unusually, the vast majority of posters are not feeding your drama. Usually people love taking offence on an OP's behalf. So that should tell you something

Good for you, sending the text. I think you did the right thing. Yes it was shitty her raining in your parade, maybe, in time, she'll realise this. But I still think you should've sent it - which you have.

"gentle reminder" ha ha ha