Oddjobgirl, following in the vein mentioned by Gess about focusing on what the child is capable of, I'm copying this from another thread I posted in a while ago:
I don't think that unversity is for everyone, but before somebody comes and shot me up in flames, let me explain myself better:
I have always believed that the main problem with higher education success may lay in making us believe that attending university = success. Well, it's not, first because being economically succesful won't necessary make us happier and, there is no guarantee that having a degree will get you a well paid job or even one in the subject you studied at Uni.
I believe that some people may be happier with more "intellectually-demanding" jobs, while some others would appreciate an easy going pace that allow them to do things they enjoy more. The problem then is, IMO, the misconstrued idea that you are a failure if you don't attend university.
I was a lecturer in my past life and I saw many students who were brilliant, mostly because they had chosen their subject to fit well with their own characteristics rather than because they were genious of some sort.
There were many others there, though, that were there for the "money", the status or because that was the right thing to do. Some of the these were good students, some were good through hard work and some were failing at it.
I have the deep belief that this last failing group was not stupid at all, they were just pursuing the wrong career. These people could have been very happy and successful in other areas, even in those that don't require a degree, but by choosing to go that route they ended up frustrated and most failed to secure a job in the area anyway.
I think this is a disgrace, not because of the waste of economical resources invested in schooling that person, but because the outcome of it was to make an otherwise capable person feel like a failure, an idea of themselves that may be with them trough the end of their lives. That's a waste!
So, yes, I would preffer DS to be a toilet cleaner if that makes him happy, rather than a graduate of a subject that makes him feel misserable about his work. And although I apreciate that being told he is not good enough for what he wants to be would be painful, it would be worse to let him carry up with the wokr without the faintest idea that he is very likely to fail at it.