Or am I a judgemental bitch?

[crispysausagerolls]

Or am I reasonable but still judgemental?

I have an NCT friend who I like, I do. I think she has taken some seriously stupid risks with her baby, and up until now I have said “ok, not my business”. Eg ironing with her baby in a sling, using the schnuggle baby bath as a seat and putting it on kitchen counter/edge of the bed (ended in a trip to a&e obviously), holding 5m old baby with one hand on her shoulders walking on concrete with another hand full of bags.

BUT...to save time meeting a friend she strapped her baby in the normal adult front seat and drove like that. As in the baby seat was in the back, and she saved about 30 seconds to just put her in the front seat, with no baby seat of any kind. I just..it’s very judgemental of me but this is fucking insane isn’t it? I just can’t help myself I don’t want to spend time with her I don’t understand why someone would do that? But she is such a funny and lovely person! AIBU or am I a horrible person. Would you say something?!

Lyinwitch

I appreciate the apology, thank you.

I suppose it’s just that I think her behaviour is wrong, yes. Shockingly so. But I wanted to check that I am not overreacting before I basically destroy a friendship with someone I like. Obviously she’s never going to forgive me, but I do have to say something. Just need to think how best to phrase it. It’s particularly awkward that our mutual friend asked me not to say anything.

I doubt she'll take any notice of you.

Tell HV or SS in detail.

If you think that she won't forgive you, crisp then she's not that strong a friend for you. Even if she blows up in indignation, your friendship and the fact that you care for her and her baby, will permeate and she'll apologise for any outburst.

Everybody's sorry when something awful happens but if she's doing these things on such a regular basis then she's foolish and arrogant and it's her baby who would ultimately pay.

So, if you think that you can't talk to her then do as PP suggests and report this. I'd rather chuck away a friendship myself because if I am such a good mate with somebody that I can't talk straight with them about the trickier stuff, then I can't really be a friend to them and things would never be the same again.

As it is, crisp, you're in a difficult situation because if/when you complain to the authorities and if/when she complains to you that somebody has 'shopped her', how would you feel? Can you go on being a friend?

Oh and your mutual friend? What are they doing about it? Don't be complicit with them, do what your conscience tells you.