To think it's not selfish to have a dog if you work

[TubbyMcTat77]

Following on from a disagreement with a friend this week, just trying to gauge opinion.

We have two dogs. Both me and dp work. Our hours fluctuate so there are only usually two days out of the week where the dogs are left alone all day 9-5. On those days we have someone come in at lunch to let them out for an hour. Because they are always usually alone in the mornings we get up early to take them on long walks before work which means that they are worn out and sleep during the morning anyway.

My friend says this is selfish. She doesn't work but ironically rarely takes her dog out for a walk. Given the amount of dogs that need homes I think it's unrealistic to say that only those who are retired or not working should have dogs. Surely it can work if you make the right arrangements? I do admit it would be better in some ways for the dog to have someone there all the time but it's not really practical in today's world. Aibu to think I'm not a shit dog owner?

You are not a shit dog owner! I am in a similar position to you, and what with flexible working, some working from home and the help of doggie day care my boy is happy and healthy. Far better than sitting in a shelter all day!

Sorry disagree. If you work full time don’t have dogs, you can’t devote the time to the that they deserve. Used to work somewhere were a woman brought her two dogs to work an left them in the car all day. She took them out of the car for ten minutes at lunchtime. The wretched animals howled all day and only after a lot of complaining was she made to leave them at home.

Someone coming in for an hour isn’t very much TBH. Your dogs may cope with that but many wouldn’t.

We don't work full time. There are two days where we are both out all day but the rest of the week I'm usually home by lunch or just after. There are so many dogs in shelters already, by putting off working people from owning dogs surely that's going to add to the problem. Yes my dogs are sometimes alone but they still get two walks a day, evenings and weekends free reign. And a loving family. Which they wouldn't get in a shelter.

Your arrangement sounds fine. We both worked full time when we had our staffie so yes that meant she was home alone but the alternative was far worse - she was a puppy farm rescue who had been passed from pillar to post. It was my DP or nobody.

We both work but DH has 2 days and a morning off midweek, and works split shifts, whereas I am a 9-5 Monday to Friday.

Our dogs aren’t often alone longer than 10-3, but are sometimes. We have really noticed this with a younger dog

See the difference is you have made provision for your dogs and worked it out so they get as much time as is possible. There’s nothing selfish about that—people have to work. What is selfish is when people get a dog knowing that everyone in the household will be gone from 9-5 and they make no effort to ensure that the dog is walked before work or goes to daycare or someone comes in at lunchtime or whatever. That’s what pisses me off—not someone who has to work full time but also does their best to provide for their dog in their absence.

Yes, that's selfish. If you can't be there for the dogs all day, you need to have someone come in all day, or send them out to doggy daycare. Not fair to leave them on their own for hours and hours locked in the house.

Owning a dog is not a right, and if people don't have the time to devote to their pets they shouldn't have them in the first place.

In my opinion it's dog and breed specific. Some dogs just wouldn't cope well with being home alone all day while others would be fine. Similar to how some people would struggle being alone all day but personally I have no problem with it.

In the grand scheme of dog owners you sound to me like very responsible and caring owners. Many dogs spend their lives outside in a small yard for example and while it's not a case of well it could be worse so it's ok I do think that context is important in these debates personally.

Is your situation perfect? Of course not but it's not selfish in my opinion. You'll get a lot of people stating otherwise and they'll tend to only have good intentions and to wish well for the dogs but many of these same people probably eat pork or beef and don't see the hypocrisy (I eat meat, no judgement from me on that).

If anyone who you consider to be close is digging you out over something like this then personally I'd cut them out, you don't need the negativity in your life.

When we got DDog I worked somewhere I could take her in with me most days and she loved it. At one point I changed jobs and she could not longer come with me, so for almost a year she was one her own during the day - she seemed fine, but I felt terribly guilty about it.

She's now 10, and spends most of the day snoozing, but she likes to be with me, so will generally move about with me from room to room! In that sense she's 'fine' being on her own, but I think she does enjoy the company (as do I not that I'm a crazy woman who talks to her dog all day!)

It's no problem so long as the dogs get cared for in the day i.e. dog walker or doggy day care. The issue is when people somehow think it's ok to leave the dog locked up all day long. That is unbelievably cruel.

I don't know.

I feel that it's better for a dog to be left at home whilst someone works rather than be a rescue centre. I also feel it's better for a cat to die earlier as they've been roaming on a busy road rather than being stuck in a rescue for years.

It's that happy shorter life, or sadder longer life.

But I also don't like to think of dogs being lonely or cats being run over.

it the worst set up but I think yabu in only using a dog walker on those 2 days, it should be ideally a full day care or at the minimum a half day.

whoops!Not the worst set up!

There's a dog up the road from me who howls incessantly all day long because it's left on its own. Still, it's less annoying than my previous next door neighbour whose dog was not allowed inside the house and barked its head off morning noon and night.

The dogs in shelters argument is superfluous. Good rescues don't rehome to people who are regularly out of the house for 4+ hours a day and it's for a good reason. Yes kennels are incredible stressful places for a dog but an inadequate home is an inadequate home.

I work full time but have retired family who have my dog in that time.

The only mitigating factor in your case is that there are two of them who can keep each other company.

Just because a dog can cope with loneliness doesn't mean it's in the dog's best interest. Just because we have a man-made problem of too many dogs compared with not enough suitable homes doesn't mean your circumstances meet your dog's needs.

Thanks for all the replies. The reason we don't put them in day care on those two days is because they tend to sleep all morning. They are early risers, get a good walk every morning and are fast asleep again by 9am. Lazy buggers! Perhaps they could go in the afternoon but for the sake of a few hours I really don't think they seem to mind too much. We don't have any separation issues and they both settle well and have each other for company.

I do believe it's totally selfish to leave your dog all day everyday with no provisions or arrangements in place for their care. But also think it's very unrealistic to expect only non working people to own dogs. Thankfully our flexible working and hours mean we can be there more often than not.

Depends on the dog and the job! I'm out 8-3.30 but my son works mostly evenings so there is always someone here except on Mondays, when I have a friend who comes and sits (paid) with my dog... she's young and a velcro dog breed that doesn't do alone. I'm hoping when she's older I can leave her a couple of hours but we will build it up slowly. I do know she mostly snoozes half the day anyway but if I leave the room she wakes and trots after me.
Having a working owner has to be better than being in a shelter for 99% of dogs surely, but I do think people who work long hours should have to provide sitters or dog day care.

I arrange similar for my dog OP. My boy needs time on his own to sleep otherwise he becomes grumpy and his resource guarding issues escalate. He wouldn't cope with a lot of attention during the day and has bitten in the past when he's had too much stimulation / interaction and hasn't been allowed to rest.

I think it has to be dog specific. My boy (cocker spaniel) gets 40 mins walk morning, 40 mins eve and a 1 hour walk from dog walker at lunchtime. The rest of the time during the day he wants to rest/ watch the birds in the garden/ chew his stuffed kong /sleep. I use the dog monitor app to keep an eye on him and he is perfectly happy.

But also think it's very unrealistic to expect only non working people to own dogs.

Why? Dog ownership is a luxury not a basic human right.

As I say, I work but my dog goes to retired family for company. A number of people I know can take their dog to work, or can afford and have a dog who enjoys doggy daycare. Before I moved closer to retired family I didn't have a dog. It's not that people who work can't have a dog, it's that leaving a dog alone is only ever in the human's interest and not the dog's.

There are so many dogs that need homes because of selfish people buying dogs and not caring for them properly. Dogs need company and exercise. They are not fashion accessories. They shouldn’t be bred to look cute with squashed brains and deformed hips. The modern approach to breeding and owning dogs is cruel.

Your dogs have each other for company and one the two days they are home for full days you have someone to let them out. Compared to a lot of people you are caring for them quite well.

However, on the whole I do think it’s very cruel to have dogs and leave them at home for prolonged periods of time while you go to work. Just don’t get a dog if that’s your lifestyle.

The issue for me is that you can’t know in advance if a dog will cope. Mine would chew her own feet off or destroy the house if left that long. What happens to the dogs that people who work take on and the dogs can’t cope? If people are prepared to pay for daycare etc if the dog needs it then fine. But many aren’t. And the point about dogs in shelters is irrelevant. That’s a temporary situation. A home is supposed to be for life.

Totally dog dependant, but you're brave for posting this OP! Get ready for the militant dog owners who spend 12 hours a day walking their dogs and the remaining hours making consistent eye contact so their dogs are ALWAYS the focus of their attention.

I've got two dogs and work full time as does DH, they both get let out at lunch for an hour, then an hour's walk after work followed by lots of cuddles until they tire of us and want to play with each other. Some dogs hate being left for any length of time at all, others are fine with it. If what you're doing isn't having a detrimental affect on your dogs and there's no sign of anxiety or stress, then I think it's absolutely fine.

When you say someone comes to let them out in the garden for an hour what does that actually mean? Do they play with the dogs for an hour? Do the dogs get exercise or do they just mooch outside for a wee and come back in? It’s a long day without exercise even if they were walked before you went to work.
I would be inclined to pay for a walker for those two days.

I work full time but at least 1 or 2 days is from home
I also have teenage DC and my DD who is at college does some of the dog care whilst I am at work
He has on occasion been left all day if DD has had somewhere to go and to be honest I absolutely hate doing it and come all the way home to walk him at lunch. This is not often but not enough to hire someone. He is also fine to be left and twice I came home and all the way up to the back window to see him in a deep sleep in his bed he didn’t even hear me or see me and was very shocked to find me there before he knew it

My dog also sleeps on my bed all night and IMO he has an abundance of human contact. I rarely leave him alone at weekends either

My dog is 6 and lived in a house before where he had a lot less human contact as even though they were at home all day, he was shut away in the kitchen all the time

My dog has run of our house, a lot of toys and I make him little treat treasure hunts if I have to go out