To think it's not selfish to have a dog if you work

[TubbyMcTat77]

Following on from a disagreement with a friend this week, just trying to gauge opinion.

We have two dogs. Both me and dp work. Our hours fluctuate so there are only usually two days out of the week where the dogs are left alone all day 9-5. On those days we have someone come in at lunch to let them out for an hour. Because they are always usually alone in the mornings we get up early to take them on long walks before work which means that they are worn out and sleep during the morning anyway.

My friend says this is selfish. She doesn't work but ironically rarely takes her dog out for a walk. Given the amount of dogs that need homes I think it's unrealistic to say that only those who are retired or not working should have dogs. Surely it can work if you make the right arrangements? I do admit it would be better in some ways for the dog to have someone there all the time but it's not really practical in today's world. Aibu to think I'm not a shit dog owner?

We both work (I'm currently on maternity leave) and my dog loves his alone time.
Even with me being in the house all day, he'll take himself off into a different room for a while.

When I'm at work, relatives will come and see him for an hour or so in the day, but he gets overwhelmed by people who aren't us.

He's the best dog in the world.

Yes, that's selfish. If you can't be there for the dogs all day, you need to have someone come in all day, or send them out to doggy daycare. Not fair to leave them on their own for hours and hours locked in the house.

Don't be ridiculous. Dogs do not need someone there 24/7. These dogs are not alone, they are together with each other, have a good walk in the morning and a dog walker later in the day.

I hear this 4 hour rule bandied about but have never seen any evidence to back it up. It has just been plucked from the air and become accepted as fact when it depends on the individual dog/s, their personalities, age and whether they have been adequately trained. I have a camera, so I know that my dog does not move from her bed on the rare occasions she has to be left (my job is home based), no different to when I am at home.

I’m working from home today and dog is in his bed, completely ignoring me 🤷🏻‍♀️

Only working people can afford vet bills only unemployed can look after them?

I grew up with two dogs my mom worked days my dad nights but just because my dad was there doesnt mean he looked after the dogs if they were desperate they woke him up but usually just lay down and slept they were fine no issues at all being in the house all day

Only the unemployed can have dogs? All this selfishness palaver is really boring.

Dogs are pack animals and need company so people who have a single dog left home alone all day whilst at work are selfish. But you have two. They have each other. And they get a lot more exercise than a lot of other dogs whose owners aren’t at work. And it’s only for two days a week that you are both out all day. Reading the title, I expected to think you were in the wrong but you are not at all.

It how you provide and care for the dog whilst you work thats important. IMO, I would only leave DDog for up to 3 hours - thats what he is comfortable with. On days that I have to be out longer than that, he goes to the dog lady or friends.
Ive friends who work full time and pay for dog day care and those who don't work and don't walk their dog enough.

It's not about being unemployed, it's about making arrangements. Several people on this thread work and have dogs - including me - and make sure they're not left alone all day, so to say "only unemployed people can have dogs?" is deliberately missing the point.

OP I don't think you're a bad owner, although an afternoon in daycare for the 9-5 days would be ideal, or even a full hour walk outdoors instead of being let out into the garden. It probably does make a difference that your dogs have each other for company.

You tend to find the people criticising have other arrangements in place i.e. they have a partner who works opposite hours, their mum pops round to let dogs out, they work from home etc etc.

Unfortunately not everyone is as blessed to have these things arranged or can they afford dog sitters.

I live alone, very little family about but my mum does help out a little.
I didn't choose to be alone, my partner who used to be around for the dogs a lot decided to move out.
I have to work in order to pay bills. I don't earn enough to pay for dog sitters and when I did send one to the dog sitter he was very unhappy.
Rehoming my dogs would cause a lot of distress for them. One of mine took months to settle in and he didn't have a history of being rehomed it was a case of him having a strong bond with his previous owner (who couldn't have him anymore).

So I plod along, they get left all day but they have each other and they cope.
I wish I had the support network others deem essential but I just have to make do for now.

It massively depends on the situation, the dog and how well they cope.

My dog wouldn't cope for longer than 2-3 hours alone, so he goes to my in-laws for three days a week while we work. There, he gets a second walk (we walk him every morning anyway), company, treats and training - plus a warm fire to sleep in front of. He absolutely loves it and my FIL loves having him as he has the benefits of a dog (companionship, walks) but without the full-time commitment or cost.

I think at the very least dogs who are left home alone need a long walk each morning, as well as a dog walker at lunch. Young dogs should really be in daycare or only left a few hours at the most as they have greater exercise needs than older dogs.

However your dogs sound happy and it's only two days a week, which I think is absolutely fine. The problem is when people leave their dogs and don't care that they're distressed, or leave them to bark/howl/cry all day while they work.

Lots of people do it but that doesn't make it right. Dogs are pack animals and crave company all the time.

I think it all depends on the setup about working and having dogs. Some people work full time and take their dog to work which can obviously be fine if you work on a farm, so the dog is with you all day, but not a supermarket when the dog is left by itself.

The reality is that dogs are expensive and so many owners need to work to be able to afford to keep them. To an extent I agree with a PP about how being left at home whilst owners work is kinder than sitting in a kennel in a rescue centre but it also depends upon how long the dog is left alone and how the dog deals with that - some dogs are ok to be left for short periods whereas others really can’t be left for any length of time at all.

It is selfish. Dogs need company. Being left 9-5 is far too long.

We used to live next door to a couple who had a very similar arrangement for their dogs, OP. On the two days they were both out at work all day the dogs would cry, howl and bark incessantly until someone (friend? dogsitter? I don't know) came to let them out in the garden for an hour or so and then as soon as that person left they would start howling again until the owners got home from work in the evening. When I spoke to the neighbors about it they insisted the dogs were "perfectly happy", that it didn't matter because it wasn't every day and it's fine because "they have each other for company". I think it's unfair both on the dogs and on the neighbors who have to put up with the noise unhappy dogs make!

There is another side to this and that is people bringing their dogs to work.

Some dog owners have no regard for people who don't like dogs, are afraid of dogs, are allergic to them or who don't really want to be around them for religious or cultural reasons. Or for the junior who will get lumbered with walking it (and picking up its muck) or people who are expected to cover for people on a dog-break.

So by all means have dogs if you work, but please don't bring them in unless all staff are agreeable.

So by all means have dogs if you work, but please don't bring them in unless all staff are agreeable.

Surely people aren't just bringing their dogs to work without permission though?

A friend of mine takes her dog to work with her because her manager has said it's okay. If you have an issue with dogs in your workplace then bring it up with your manager, as presumably they're the ones who've said yes.

What a load of crap. My dog gets left by herself all day sometimes, she copes just fine but then she hasn't been encouraged not to.

Is the person coming for the hour to let them out taking them for a walk? Sorry if I misunderstood.

Sounds like you love your dogs and are doing your best for them but personally I think it’s unfair on a dog to be left all day. I don’t see the point of having a dog if they’re on their own for the majority of the time.

Two days a week isn’t the majority of the time though

I'm sorry but I think it's horrendously selfish to leave a dog on its own all day. Dogs don't understand 'I'll be back at lunch".
You don't have a right to be a dog owner, it needs to make sense for your life, and I don't think that it's right for people who work out of the house for a full day.

I wasn’t referring to the OP in particular but more the title. So keep your to yourself

Leaving two dogs is fine, leaving one isn't.

If they can be left with access to outdoors or in a kennel in the garden, even better.

This is one of the weirdest things I've ever read on MN:

Some dog owners have no regard for people who don't like dogs, are afraid of dogs, are allergic to them or who don't really want to be around them for religious or cultural reasons

If you are 'afraid' of dogs, thats a YOU problem.

What cultures/religions don't allow you to be around dogs?? That sounds bizarre to me

It’s not ideal and it a set up I would do by choice but I don’t think it makes you selfish or a shit owner
What IS unreasonable is using the “some dogs have far worse lives in shelters” argument.

So keep your to yourself

You don't sound old enough to have a dog.