I commute right across London. My worse scenarios include:
Being stuck between two manspreaders- my knees wedged together and still being touched by the men’s knees. I feel like taking a sharp stick, twisting around and poking them in the balls, shouting, ‘That big, huh? Are they really THAT big?’. But so far I’ve managed not to do that. Just.
Young people who nearly knock me over to get the last seat. I’m a fucking grandma of nearly 60. You have the seat if you want it but don’t knock me down en route.
People who leave the train without taking their guzzling scene of crime evidence. Bad enough we had to watch you scoff and slurp in the filthy environment but we are left with your greasy Greggs bags and your latte-dribbling paper sippy cups.
My self- imposes commuting rules:
If standing, keep an eye on seats towards stops so I can move in - standing for 45 mins on the tube is so tiring.
Always be quick to give up my seat for someone in need.
If I’m standing and someone else comes on who needs a seat but isn’t being given one - elderly, on crutches, pregnant - always get them one by asking a group nicely but assertively for a seat for them. It always works.
If I’m offered a seat by someone younger and healthy looking, gracefully accept with gratitude.
Never eat and only drink water if really needed. I read an article once on the contents of a tube seat under the microscope and it was utterly vile.
Never use smelly things like perfume, hand sanitizer etc.
Keep any bags tightly held on my knee in a way which doesn’t block the narrow tube aisle.
Keep feet neatly against the seat so no one trips or is blocked.
Keep payment card in an easily accessible outer pocket of my bag so I can get it quickly without holding up others.
I need to add - carry sharp stick to poke balls of manspreaders.