Things that shouldn't be allowed on publoc transport

[DrVonPatak]

Just sat on a full commuter train home next to a woman filing her claws away, flakes falling everywhere... the handrail is stuck in my opposite side as I try to get away from it, but she's not taking the hint!!!

Got 50 minutes to go yet, please distract me with your stories of co-commuters you wanted to chuck out the window!

Next to a guy clipping his nails once. And he had a girlfriend too

Putting bags on seats to make people feel awkward about sitting down

^

This. Omfg the rage I get. And the 'saved' seat. If I wasn't so diminutive I'd tell people to get to feck

@Vulpine then what about make-up counters?
I could see how applying mascara to your pubes would be something only to be done in private. But the face?

use to get a bus in am rush hour - very crowed. One youngish (late 20's to 30?)man always say side ways with feet up on seat & did the same on the way home in the evening. One evening a nursing assistant got on at the hospital stop, middle aged lady. She stopped by his seat - did a loud excuse me & pointed at the seat (my heroine!) he shrivelled & moved over. (he use to ignore everybody else but she had the "look")

The filthy little creep that sat across from me wanking under his paper.

Shame it got knocked (very very hard and very far) when I stood up to leave.

You don’t half look like a sad fucker sitting on a train mid-afternoon with your sad little cock in your hand.

Oh & people reading over my shoulder when I am reading a book (they must have been bored - it was usually course book! but it was still irritating)

I've just had a mad vision of little creepy chap not actually wanking but applying makeup to his knob 🤣 And someone comes along just as he's applying liner.

doh very crowded not crowed

Ffswhatnext- i dont really hang out at make up counters. And even then, its not women conducting their own intimate make up rituals, pouting and gurning into their reflection right next to me.

The make up thing is bloody annoying if you are sat next to the person. Constant fidgeting and faffing in the bag, elbows everywhere, powder flying around and ending up on my clothes.
Just get up a bit earlier and do your makeup in your own home.

The Usain Bolters. When I was heavily pregnant some woman rushed past me to sit in a seat, she barged the bump as well and I nearly fell over (I am never a graceful pregnant, I tend to look like a scarecrow and have zero balance). She got pulled up by an older man who told her to let me sit down.

Man spreaders.

I love those that look over the shoulder. I always give them something to look at. Last time it was a load of bondage pictures, the woman didn't know where to look 😂

Chap on the train eating a salami with a very large knife a carriage full of people staring he rather cockily offered me some so I accepted it cheers mate I'm starving 🤦‍♀️ well his hands looked clean and what else do you say 🙇‍♀️

Like a freaky little finger puppet FFS? Alas, no. Nasty little perv.

I had the pleasure of being sat behind a man who had just bought himself a triple pack of hard-core porn mags and thought the bus journey home was an appropriate time to peruse one. It was in a very stabby area of North London, so I judged it safer not to challenge an obvious lunatic.

I had been on the train to London for 3 hours with an empty seat next to me for the duration until Slough. Bearing in mind it was only 9am when a woman plonked herself down in the empty seat next to me and proceeded to eat homemade sandwiches. Egg, mature cheese and onion. Ffs why?

Everything.

Sneezing. Coughing.

Talking.

Sighing. Tutting.

Even merely breathing.

ALL MUST BE... DESTROYED.

I have some incredible stories of public transport hell.

I'll be back.

I cant articulate it but i cringe when i see make up application it makea me feel sick even though logically i know its not smelly or affecting me..i just find it really offensive for some reason. Often i get that powdery smell of perfume and it irritates my nose.

Also rubbing alcohol santizers the smell eurgh..

Tell men standing with their phone infront of my head as a short arse im by their navel, iphone level.

Clipping and filing nails.

Constant sniffling.

Mint or spear mint chewing gum breath in crowded trains and buses.

Holding a thermos obviously filled with hot drink flimsily.

Here's the thing about why it matters about folk doing their make-up:
Made- up person is presenting themselves to the public as the finished product,wants to impress,has paid the audience the compliment of looking as good as they can.
Making- up person doesn't give a toss about the unimpressed audience.Insulting!
And frequently seem to have less than hygenic make -up bags if commuters I travel with are anything to go by! I don't want your nail filings,smell of nail polish,hairspray,excess mascara my way thanks!
But I can't disagree with your desire for time management. A 30 minute train ride gossiping about fellow workers while doing a full face of slap is a real time and motion triumph on a morning commute!

School kids....... I think they should have their own buses so you are never squashed in amongst 60 of them shouting and messing about.

If make up person really didnt give a toss they wouldnt put make up at all. I think its more fun to think its some sort of vulgar voyeurism.

I was on the train home one time when I received a phone call from a friend. I chatted briefly to her in our native language. When I hung up the guy opposite complained to his companion that he couldn’t understand a word I’d said!

Smelly food in general. Pregnancy and other people's stinky food on the train do not work!

I sat opposite a woman who full on took her shoes off, put her feet on the opposite seat and started rubbing moisturiser on them🤢

Another woman lifted her leg and full on man farted, like it was loud and it was looong- I looked at her in total disgust and she eyeballed me like ‘yea, I did that’!

Also crisps, smelly food and chewing gum with your mouth open

The guy who was trying to get on an absolutely packed rush hour tube with his double bass...