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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how important the uni experience is and is this where you find your lifelong friends

82 replies

BeaBravo · 28/10/2019 16:02

DSis is getting very stressed because DNiece (yr13) is refusing to apply to uni. DN says she wants to get a job or do an apprenticeship. DSis didn't go to uni and worries that DN will miss out on "amazing experiences." Also, DN is a lovely, outgoing girl but doesn't really have any friends and DSis thinks she might meet her "tribe" there.

Any thought would be appreciated.

OP posts:
BlueJava · 28/10/2019 20:36

I met my DH at Uni 23+ years ago. We are still friends with 3 of DH's Uni friends, and my 1 close friend from Uni passed away. However I think your DN has her head screwed on - she probably doesn't want the debt. I would only worry if she wasn't applying to anything or had no motivation to do anything - as it is she seems to know what she wants so let her do it her way - for the best in the end!!

elliejjtiny · 28/10/2019 20:40

I loved university but it's not for everyone.

bottleofbeer · 28/10/2019 20:51

No idea, went to uni at 39, get on great with most. I have a social life with friends I've had for years. One of two I think I'll stay friends with.

It's the horizon expanding education I love, but I wasn't ready till my late 30s.

bottleofbeer · 28/10/2019 20:52

One OR two that is Grin

SMurphy91 · 28/10/2019 22:37

I went into full time work at 18 and then went to uni at 21. I met my husband and some amazing lifelong friends there.
I have some pre-uni friends who never went to uni at all. They all have jobs and friends too. Your DN will find friends wherever she goes, especially if she is outgoing.

LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook · 28/10/2019 22:44

I met life long friends there, it taught me a lot other than the academics, it taught me I can hold my own with anyone and to take risks and push myself in the way some of my privately educated friends see as a given. However my absolute best friend I met working part time in a bar when I was eighteen, so who knows!

Flamingnora123 · 29/10/2019 09:49

I went at 21 and then did an MA and a friend of mine went at 25 and also did an MSc, there's no rush for her to decide now! Lots of people go later, it's not a big deal. She needs to work out if she wants to do it, not just go for the experience, it's bloody expensive now.

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