Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

Can't decide if this is a good idea or not for our Halloween wedding..

158 replies

fee1234 · 28/10/2019 14:20

We are planning to get married on Halloween next year in our local town hall. We just want a cheap and cheerful event, with a nice big party after for all our family and friends. We met at a Halloween party years ago so it's a special day for us. We were thinking of telling people it's fancy dress code too, as we will be running with a Halloween theme for the day (pumpkins etc). I know it's tacky, but I want a fun wedding where people don't need to spend a fortune on a new outfit and will remember it.

A close relative is getting married next year and is having a very expensive, full frills wedding, requiring most guests to stay a night or two, and I feel like a low key, fun wedding would be a welcome contrast to that.

So my question is, if you received a wedding invite for Halloween with fancy dress code, would you be happy to dress up? I was thinking of incentivising with prizes for best dressed..?

OP posts:

covetingthepreciousthings · 28/10/2019 14:37

I think you should go with it OP, but have an optional stance with it so the ones who are completely opposed can wear something else.

Or maybe gothic attire dress code with optional Halloween fancy dress? Then people could just wear black if they wish?

I wish we would have had a Halloween wedding, sounds like great fun

Pharlapwasthebest · 28/10/2019 14:37

I would love it personally!

HarrietSchulenberg · 28/10/2019 14:39

Blimey, what a load of miseries! I am not normally a huge fan of fancy dress but I think a Halloween wedding would be ACE! It would be a welcome change from the usual boring wedding gear, people would have ages to sort an outfit and it's not exactly taxing to get creative with something from a charity shop if guests don't want to buy a ready made one.
It would certainly be memorable so I say go for it!

Stephminx · 28/10/2019 14:41

I like the idea of maybe a nod to Halloween - eg the gothic theme but you’d have to have it optional to not put people off.

I also like your idea of having a box of stuff - maybe have a photo station so people can take pics in it. Could just be hats, masks etc..,

What about wedding favours being cats ears, witches or masks ?

Some will embrace it, some will hate it. Depends on your friends.

SantaIsReal · 28/10/2019 14:41

Do you want a fancy dress wedding?
Without sounding rude, it doesn't matter what anyone else wants. It's special to you and your future DH. Even if you say on the invites fancy dress optional and still have a box of costumes. IMO if I was told of someone getting married around Halloween I would expect it to be fancy dress! Too right, I'd go all out!

PralineCookies · 28/10/2019 14:42

People aren't miseries just because they don't want to wear fancy fucking dress. It might be your idea of fun, but it certainly isn't mine. Likewise I'm sure I love some things that you'd hate but I wouldn't call you a misery just because you weren't a fan.

HungryForApples · 28/10/2019 14:43

Surprised at all the negativity on here! I'd love it!

But I agree with the PP that no one will want to put costumes on over the outfits they come in.

I think a dress code of "black, red or Halloween costumes" is the best compromise. Some people will love the opportunity to dress up! & if you offer prizes for the costumes I'm sure lots of people will put a lot of effort in!

Congrats and good luck!

zingally · 28/10/2019 14:47

I'd personally be all for it!

But then I can't see my mum, or my 94 year old great-auntie going for it...

I think if it were me... I might do a thing where the bridal party changed into fancy dress for the "evening do", as a nod to the night and your story. But I'd say normal wedding attire for everyone else.

Plus... I can't speak for you, but I think I'd regret the photos in 50 years if everyone was in fancy dress...

thecatsthecats · 28/10/2019 14:48

It's also not just fancy dress, it's fancy dress for a wedding.

People who hate fancy dress will feel obligated to do it properly. This will either cost them more money buying a posh premade costume, or a hellish amount of effort making one. This will be ten times worse for the people who don't like the idea in the first place.

Plus fancy dress is just a naff inconvenience that people enjoy for the first ten minutes on the evening. Costumes will have long lost their interest after the first hour.

Winterdaysarehere · 28/10/2019 14:50

I got married on Halloween years ago. Dc got changed into fancy dress but adults came smart!! Also local club for small gathering. Had 2 tables. 1 themed and 1 adults only!!
Though it tuned out 'd' h was a true goul and I divorced him!!

Original poster

fee1234 · 28/10/2019 14:51

The optional idea is good too. Just whenever we have mentioned it to people, one of the first questions we get asked is "are your guests dressing up?" The format of the day would be a short ceremony at 4pm, followed by a nice meal and then party. We are having some halloweeny atmospheric lighting, and it will also be dark outside the whole time, which is why I thought people might be more inclined to dress up. But I completely understand that buying a costume will still leave some people out of pocket.

OP posts:

daffodilrosedaisy · 28/10/2019 14:53

You could have a photo booth (get a few disposable cameras or something) and have lots of Halloween props in there that people can try on? Photo booths are popular now but would be a fun halloween twist

EscapeTheOrdinary · 28/10/2019 14:55

I was going to suggest a photo booth too with props rather than a box of fancy dress. the photo booth would be used a box of costumes wont

Misunderstoodagain · 28/10/2019 14:56

You could provide a face painter for the kids (adults optional). Maybe hire a photo booth where you provide silly costumes and props that people can put on for it but then take off after....
I actually would love this, we all need a bit of fun and easy atmosphere to let go sometimes.
Would be great entertainment for the kids and let the adults chill for a bit

ChicCauldron · 28/10/2019 14:56

Do you really want your wedding photos to be fancy dress, OP? I do think that is something you would regret further down the line.

Fun for a party, not for a wedding IMO. Wedding guests do not get prizes for the best dressed, that's something my DD won at the school disco the other week (halloween costume). I wouldn't want to buy the whole family tacky costumes and my DH would not want to wear one.

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 28/10/2019 14:57

DH and I would love it, but I think gently encouraging black or red is a good alternative, and would make for very effective photos, especially if you provide props for those who felt comfortable with them.

CreepyPasta · 28/10/2019 15:04

Hi OP

I had a Halloween wedding! We thought about having it fancy dress but opted for ‘wear what you want’ instead. Most people went for a gothic style look. I’m pleased we didn’t go for fancy dress in the end as looking back at the phots it’s clear it was a wedding and not a Halloween party!

Enjoy!

GameSetMatch · 28/10/2019 15:08

I hate dressing up but my husband loves it, maybe do optional fancy dress?

Mishfit0819 · 28/10/2019 15:09

I'd love this, but then again I'm not a fan of traditional weddings and uncomfortable outfits. This adds fun, gives more options for outfits and less pressure to look picture perfect.

Just depends on your friends and family I guess though and if they'd get into it!

Ravenrob · 28/10/2019 15:10

I think a box of dressing up stuff and maybe a halloween photo booth would be a better idea! I like fancy dress but I wouldn't want to wear it to a wedding.

Crankybitch · 28/10/2019 15:16

I’d love it

You always spend a fortune on wedding outfits - at least I could keep a fancy dress outfit and wear it the next year

You could suggest people that are not keen to wear full costume wear a hat or mask with their outfit

I hate when fancy dress is optional as no one then feels comfortable

Fifthtimelucky · 28/10/2019 15:17

I'm probably a bit boring, but I see a wedding as 1) two people making a serious commitment to each other and 2) a joyful celebration of that commitment. A hallowe'en theme seems fine for the second bit, but not at all appropriate for the first bit.

thefairyfellersmasterstroke · 28/10/2019 15:19

My cousin did this! I normally hate fancy dress but it was really cheap to just buy a witch hat and wig, and put on some green make-up. Not everyone bothered (it was optional) but most did, and the photos looked fab - even the registrar wore a pointy hat!

PralineCookies · 28/10/2019 15:19

I hate when fancy dress is optional as no one then feels comfortable

I disagree. I feel much more comfortable knowing that I haven't been forced into wearing fancy dress, and that anyone who is wearing it is presumably doing it because they enjoy it.

MoreCuddlesForMummy · 28/10/2019 15:21

Wow there’s a load of right miseries on this thread. Your wedding, your choice. If I had plenty of notice I’d have no problem with this at all. I would maybe go with spooky dress optional and have some spooky props available rather than costumes. Surely anyone who knows you would know the relevance to your relationship ❤️🎃 👻

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.