in thinking that 'english' weddings are a nightmare?

[cylon]

so many rules and regulations. so much money spent.no one enjoying themselve. everyone s toes stepped on.
i havent heard a single post on here with something positive to say about weddings.
why?

you have all restored my faith in people.
i love weddings. and enjoy them even when i am plus one who knows no one.
mumsnet has had sooooo many moany threads about weddings recently. coupled with all the talk about people not getting married etc. i'm glad i am not the only one who enjoys weddings.

blu, i'm not hindu. asian yes, but not hindu. saturdays' wedding should be interesting as the couple have actually been married for five years. they ran off and had a registry office thing. but her mother has decided it is imperative she have a hindu ceremony because otherwise her standing in the commumnity....blah blah blah. and i have been hearing so much of the mayhem being caused by her mother. it should be so much fun

rach the village wedding is so romantic.

Cylon, Ah yes...standing in the community...I caught my MIL trying to pretend to a neighbour that I was the same woman who they all saw married to her son in the enormous block-the-road-with-makeshift-tents-for-the caterers-and-1000 guests 3 day extravaganza of 8 years ago. I am twice as tall as the now-divorced former daughter-in-law, but that didn't deter her...and even when DS piped up 'but my Mummy and Daddy haven't had a wedding' she managed to brush it off by saying 'you don't know what happened before you were born!'. A least the standing in the community aspect means that she can't admit that i am not the original DIL so is NOT pressurising us to get married

totally love the guestzilla idea! that is my reading of people who moan about other peoples weddings. Or they haven't had to pay for one and therefore limit numbers due to budget...

My evening only guests got fed too btw. we had a big hot buffet in the evening as well as the big sit down affar in the daytime.

Our wedding was very informal - just as we wanted it. No "line-ups", no official photos, no real top-table either. We sat people in groups that we knew they would be comfortable in, plenty of drink, dancing and totally relaxed fun. We also invited people for the whole day - no evening invitations.

cyclon - I'm woth you on your original statement... most "english" weddings are horrid. Its the forced seating, the speeches that go on and on, the often poor quality of food (If i eat one more plate of overcooked vegetables and dry chicken / potaotes this summer i will scream).
Exactly because of this reason our wedding was a casual affair - Big Fat Barbecue with very varied selection of foods - lots of live music (gospel in church, "hornsection" swing-band at party), no dress code, speeches only if they were spontaneous.
It threw my husbands parents, but since we have had so many compliments and people planning their wedding more relaxed because they were inspired by ours.
Its all a matter of personal taste and some people love the formality of a good old english summer wedding - I'm just not one of them.

I'm not English but have been to a number of English weddings -- mostly the summer "posh" types.

The first one was lovely, but as I started going to more it became a bit boring because they were all exactly the same. There's nothing at all personal about the church wedding itself (the ones I saw, anyway) and the receptions are completely formulaic, for ex. the custom about the best man toasting the bridesmaids, the groom toasting the bride (or whomever they all toast).

But the one thing that really bugs me, and maybe you ladies can explain, is that in all the weddings I've been to I've never once seen a woman give a toast/speech. What's up with that?

Really? I did at mine. And my mum gave one at my brother's.

i am sure lots of MN have happy wedding experiences to share - just ask them..

My Dp hates weddings for reasons that have mostly been mentioned, dress codes (suits in 90c!), seating plans, terrible food and even worse music (I'm thinking the Grease medley, Jive Bunny, Mambo number 5 etc etc).

I've been to a few weddings recently, one trad one on one of the hottest days of the year and I felt v sorry for bride as most of the guests stood outside for the eve so all the money spent on DJ and buffet went to waste- only about three people saw her first dance.

Best ones, my mums second marriage which was in Greece, v informal and incl. 5min service outside a chapel in early eve sunset followed by boat trip around to the taverna where the reception was being held to a lovely meal of mezzes. Greek dancing (but no plate smashing - a wonderful day.

Another that stands out is friends, quick ceremony, meal in nice restaurant not a function room, eve party in marquee at their home with brilliant DJ and fab tapas buffet. Even first dance was memorable (an Ian Brown song so not trad but special for couple).

I would just like to be asked to get married.. boo hoo poor me!