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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do people get treated differently if they wear make up

164 replies

Mamalicious16 · 27/10/2019 17:30

I don't often wear make up but my friends do. Out shopping and ( it seemed to me but maybe I'm just a bit sensitive today) they seemed to be served quicker in shops/ a bar we went in and the cafe. Aibu or do people get treated differently if they wear make up?

OP posts:

AliciaQuays · 28/10/2019 03:15

Yes.
Next question ?

RantyAnty · 28/10/2019 03:28

Of course we are heavily judged by our appearance.
I don't like to wear makeup as it feels funny; like glue spread on my face.

If I start off not wearing makeup in a group or office, then nobody would notice.

If I go somewhere dressed down, I'm pretty much ignored.

When delivery people or drivers come to my house, they are falling all over themselves being extra polite even if I am dressed in slippers and sloppy clothes. People are shallow. What else is new.

Whichoneofyoudidthat · 28/10/2019 03:30

Yes I think so. Though I’d say it’s the overall look which makes an impact. Clothes, hair, etc. I’ve probably been guilty of it. I’m sure we all have unconscious biases.

Jossina · 28/10/2019 03:32

Yes, the world is sexist and focused first, second and third on how you physically look. Yes this sucks big time. Especially in 2019.

WatchingTheMoon · 28/10/2019 04:58

I can't believe that people really think that men having to shave and wear a watch is the same as women having to put make up on.

Wearing make up completely changes your face. It's essentially saying 'your face is not ok in its natural state and must be covered'.

Women have to do all the things men do (hair cut, hair style (way more arduous for women mostly), accessories, nice bag etc) bar shaving the face (but even then you have to pluck random chin hairs, do your moustache, do eyebrows, and wax every other area of your body) AND then put on a ton of make up on.

I really hate it and have stopped doing it mostly. I just don't see why I should spend the time and money on it when I could be doing something more interesting and worthwhile. I'm always clean and tidy, why is more than that necessary?

nettie434 · 28/10/2019 05:16

Agree with Brexitthroughthegiftshop, there is oodles of research showing that women wearing make up are viewed more positively. Of course, there are exceptions but it does generally make a difference to how women are perceived.

mathanxiety · 28/10/2019 05:22

On a day to day basis I don't think you can tell when most women wear make up or not

lola - you've never seen me rolling out of bed then...

Loopytiles · 28/10/2019 05:22

Disagree that the different treatment is because we are more confident / behave differently when wearing make up. That buys into the argument that doing so is confidence-boosting/empowering.

If it really were those things, men would choose to do it!

Marzypoohs · 28/10/2019 06:30

I have experienced this time and time again. I do think that confidence has a lot to do with how people treat you. When I go out in mammy clothes (baggy trackies, messy bun, and no makeup) I don't feel as good in myself and I think that reflects in the service or attitude towards me. I'm not excusing it, but I understand it. When I dress and wear a little makeup - i definitely get treated better.

YobaOljazUwaque · 28/10/2019 06:40

It probably depends on the circles in which you move. I never wear makeup and I don't think it seems to make the blindest bit of difference but the industry I work in isn't very sexist.

I find it interesting how many people equate "wearing makeup" with "making effort" - a man is seen as professional with a bare face, a woman's natural features are unacceptable unless painted over. There's some internalised misogyny.

You continue to wear as little as you like OP, or none at all. Society won't change if we pretend the sexists are right.

LadyLanka · 28/10/2019 06:41

Well, there is make-up and then there is make-up.
I generally do not wear make-up, but have never encountered poor service or treatment which could be ascribed to not having a layer of polyfiller on my face.
I do wonder about some of the females I see, who have a mask of foundation, scary eyebrows, contoured cheeks and pouty, lipsticked mouths and wonder if this a mask or whether it is to detract from something else?

AJPTaylor · 28/10/2019 06:53

As a 50 year old women who had never routinely worn make up but is job searching I shall put on some slap for my interview tomorrow and see what happens!

MaButterface · 28/10/2019 07:11

Yes but the right amount. It just shows she makes an effort.

EmpressLesbianInChair · 28/10/2019 07:13

Yes but the right amount. It just shows she makes an effort.

FFS though. None of the men in my office have to paint their faces to show they’re ‘making an effort’.

JavaQ · 28/10/2019 07:17

Yes
The world likes beauty.

Drogosnextwife · 28/10/2019 07:17

Yes. I rarely wear make up now because of the job I do, it's more at weekends or if we are going out I put it on and wear my hair down.
I think there is a big difference in how people treat me and not just men. I have also noticed now that men don't have a quick glance and then look away if you catch them. I find more and more I catch someone looking at me and they just keep starting. It's very uncomfortable.

Blondebakingmumma · 28/10/2019 07:18

I honestly think it’s more about confidence. Maybe your friend’s act more confident when they have a full face of makeup. I don’t notice any difference if I am wearing makeup or not

JavaQ · 28/10/2019 07:18

...Hilary Clinton said something along the lines of "it's always about the hair"

Drogosnextwife · 28/10/2019 07:19

I think its more to do with if you made the effort then maybe you get the effort back?

In a shop or a bar? Shouldn't the people in those places just be doing their job? Takes no more effort to serve someone without make up than someone with

Shutupseaguls · 28/10/2019 07:20

I don't own any makeup and only found this if I'm wearing really scruffy clothes. I have a very male look so maybe that's why.

JavaQ · 28/10/2019 07:21

Steve Jobs turtleneck sweater....ugh
Facebook slob....ugh
Both have testicles and money and no one judges them on appearance ( I do of course! In retaliation of the way women are objectified)

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 28/10/2019 07:23

I wear very little now (I'm in my 30s). I find it sad that many friends basically don't like how they look without a heavily made up face.

I'm unexceptional looking, but i like my face, like, it's all right? Also I find that the things that bother me most are things like dark circles under my eyes (thank you, newborn DD..) just motivate me to try and get a bit more sleep and drink more water, rather than covering them in concealer.

palmaviolet66 · 28/10/2019 07:23

I completely agree that women are treated differently.

Age also has a huge impact on these things. I look very much like my mum, I'm in my late 20s, she's early 50s. If we both stand at a bar together you can guarantee the bar tender will always attempt to service me before her.

LolaSmiles · 28/10/2019 07:24

lola - you've never seen me rolling out of bed then...

I didn't mean side by side before/after you wouldn't tell, but more I couldn't tell if someone had some light tinted moisturizer on and subtle mascara.

I'm blessed with some dark circles and am a no makeup to low makeup person. I'm not convinced anyone can tell that I wear concealer under my eyes some days.

Most women don't go out with a full face of make up on, but I'd guess lots of women wear make up.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 28/10/2019 07:27

One mate complains of bad skin but surely thick layers of make-up aren't helping unclog her poor pores? Her skin never gets a rest from products - fake tan, heavy oily makeup, perfumed creams etc.

She doesn't believe me that I just wash with an inexpensive nivea face wash and only use moisturiser in winter etc, but she's literally never ever tried to see what her skin could be like without it all.

I think a lot of girls get into the habit of covering up teenage bad skin and continue with the heavy make up regimes as adults out of habit, when their skin has likely improved.

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