To ask what an acceptable sleep in time is?

[Cravingpies]

DH is having a lay in. He has one once a week and will usually spend the night playing on the PlayStation with mates until the early hours. He was playing until 1am this morning.

DD is 8 months and has a stomach bug (I slept on the floor in her room last night as I was the one dealing with her) so I called him for help at 6.30am just to help with her for a second. Then suggested he go back to bed which he did and is still asleep now.

It’s 10am and he is still in bed.

We need to do a food shop, need to take the dog, need to tidy, I need to wash DDs clothes and sheets from last night etc.

Not that it makes a difference but we both work although I only do 3 days. I don’t usually sleep in as I’m physically unable to so I don’t know what is an acceptable time to wake him?

Amazing. what childman stays up playing games? What parent ever gets to stay in bed once the children wake up? I would just carry on my day making no attempt to keep quiet for the lazy person, man or woman, unless they were ill or there were extenuating circumstances they wanted to lie in bed

7am is a normal time to wake up and isn't a lie in. Although these threads always attract "my child wakes me up at 3am every day so 5ams a lie in for me". It's silly.

I'd leave him to wake up whenever but I'd do normal things whilst he's in bed. At the min you've a poorly child so all you can do is sit there whilst she sleeps which isn't a bad thing!

8 hours sleep plus one hours rest would be a lie in, so whatever time you go to bed plus 9 hours is a proper lie in.

In this case 10am, then

Sorry I forgot to say, we don't have scheduled lie ins as we don't need them that often so we're very relaxed about them. If one of the kids was poorly neither of us would sleep in as that's not what our partnership is about.

7am is not a lie in. I get up at that time during the week. Now my kids are teenagers we get proper lie ins although my bladder gets me up early but then I can go back to bed

If you’ve been up with a poorly baby, he should have taken her at 6/7am and let you have a lie in for a couple of hours. That’s how it usually works in our house.

DS was up at 6 this morning, I fed and entertained him for an hour whilst DH snoozed, he then took DS for half an hour so I could do my own thing for a bit, and we left the house by 8 to get to a race DH was doing. (We are not lie in people 😂)

I am amazed by some of these ‘lie ins’. I am not the biggest morning sleeper but on my day, I just chill in bed and take no responsibility for the children for a couple of hours. DH usually stays in bed until 10-11am minimum on his day and has been known to surface in the afternoon. He would always get up if I asked him to and on the later occasions asks why I didn’t wake him up but I figure it’s no big deal to let him sleep. If we have plans then it’s different but washing and shopping don’t count as plans.

OP your situation is different as you have a sick baby so then a wake up at any time is acceptable.

Dh and I alternate lie ins on weekends and usually get up 8.30-9. Anything past that is just taking the piss especially when you have a sick baby to look after.

DDIJ
If you woke me at 7am on a Sunday - there would a nuclear reaction from me. Whatever time I had gone to bed.
Having said that OP, 10am when you have a sick baby and he's been away all week (and therefore hasn't had household responsibilities) is more than long enough.

Definitely leave him with the baby, and eat cake

You can do all of those things on your own, surely? There’s no need to wait for him.

The reason you want to wake him is because you don’t think you should have to do these things alone. So tell him that.

Our regular lie in time used to be to 9.30 but sometimes it slips to 10am. It's only later than that if previously agreed together for a special occasion. 7am is in no way a lie in!

Go wake him up OP. 10am is a fine lie in if your baby isn't sick. If your baby is sick all lie in rules go out the window. He should have been up earlier helping you!

IMO though, 7.30am to 8.30am is NOT a 'lie-in,' and I can only surmise that the posters saying 7.30 to 8.30am is a lie-in are taking the piss

We’re usually up at 6am in the week so 8.30am actually is what we consider a lie in at the weekends. That’s what time I tend to get up on a lie in day (I can’t sleep any later).
Having said that, if DH was still asleep at 10am I’d probably leave him to it as he must need the sleep. I think it’s fairly hard to sleep if you’re not actually tired?
However, having said all the above, a child with a sick bug means all bets are off! Wake him when you need him.

No of course 7am isn't a lie in. I don't know who that poster @DDIJ is trying to kid.

As a pp said, some people don't even get up at 7am in the WEEK, when they have work. I don't. I get up at 7.30am and leave the house at 8.30pm and get there for about 8.50am (work starts at 9am.)

At the weekend I usually wake at around 9.15am to 10am. I lie there for 10-15 minutes, then get up, put the kettle on, then have a quick shower, then have breakfast. THAT is a lie-in... around 10am-ish. Not bloody 7am!

@Minai

DH and I alternate lie ins on weekends and usually get up 8.30-9. Anything past that is just taking the piss especially when you have a sick baby to look after.

So if you had been promised a well-earned, well-deserved lie-in, and your baby had a bit of a tummy bug, you'd be OK with your DH waking you at 7-00am to 7.30am to 'help' him.

Or do you think he should be capable of coping on his own for a few hours, looking after his OWN BABY?! Are some people incapable of doing anything without their partner?! What if the OP's husband was at work? She'd have to cope with her baby's tummy bug then. So there is no reason for her to wake her husband.

@DDIJ but you know it isn't actually idle, don't you? Your parents have conditioned you to believe there is some kind of superiority in getting up early, but you know it's not actually true, so why perpetuate the cycle?

I do hate the superior attitude of early risers. My mom will say, "still in bed?" with a sneer at 9am if she phones on a weekend. And yet I can't say, "in bed already? There's loads to do!" at 10pm cos it doesn't have the same ring.

I don't understand threads like these, just let him sleep and when he wakes up crack on with things, it's not like the stuff you have to do is urgent. I say don't sweat the small stuff and chill out a bit.

My H is still asleep whilst I have the kids- he a SAHD too and I do every night feed

I've lucked out as my DP doesn't 'do' lie ins, so at the weekend I get to lie in both days. And 8am is certainly not a lie in as far as I'm concerned He takes DD away at 7 and I drag myself out my pit anywhere between 10-11 some days if we've nothing on. And it's glorious.

DDIJ I strongly suspect that you are taking the piss now. Why are you idle all day? Try getting a job.

DDIJ maybe if you weren’t idle all day, you’d get what you needed to do done before bedtime and could then have a lie in without feeling bad

I’m an early riser, always have been, but don’t consider it in any way virtuous. I just do things at times to other people. I go to bed fairly early.
Equally, I don’t think people who go to bed later and get up later are lazy or idle. They’re just more productive at different times.

Yes I have to work evenings (self-employed and only time I can get things done with DD around during the day!) so it's rare I'm asleep before midnight. And she still wakes in the night for a feed at 4 usually and is up by 7, so a lie-in is very much appreciated at the weekends!