There's also a book by Patricia Evans "Controlling People" (on kindle unlimited) which explains about controlling peoples insecure sense of self and need to ground themselves in controlling someone else.
Plus the best explanation I have read of why they hate you (and they really do) but wont let go of you.
It's hard to summarise here but she talks about the controlling person having a "dream woman " that they project everything onto and then the resk woman never lives up to that and constantly disappoints them so they hate you.
She also uses a teddy bear analogy.
You are the teddy bear and you basically (as a people pleaser) do what they want at the start and they can have a conversation with you where they only hear what they want to hear because the teddy bear says whatever you want it to say. You are in symbiosis with the teddy bear and it's all perfect.
This goes on for a while, and then one day the teddy bear starts asking difficult questions, like, "what time will you be home?" Or "what film do you want to see?"
This drives the controlling person insane because the teddy bear should just KNOW what film he wants to see and should just be waiting patiently at home ready to pick up the conversation whenever the controlling person comes home.
The controlling person is genuinely enraged because the teddy bear is not supposed to answer back or do things on its own.
And the more the dream woman/teddy bear starts to question him or even have their own life or differences of opinion, the more it unsettles them and they try to tighten their grip on them because they are petrified of losing their connection with the dream woman or the teddy bear (think comfort blankie).