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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DH has agreed to something stupid or AIBU?

168 replies

OrangeTwirlGate · 25/10/2019 13:56

Phone call from DH

DH: “Forgot to say, my friend rang and asked if he could advertise his new business in our front garden so I said yes. So he will be coming today to put the sign in”

Me: “WTF! Who? What business? Why didn’t you ask me???”

DH: “oh just - (insert name of someone I’ve never heard of) - and his joinery business. It will just be like the size of a for sale sign or something and he will knock it into the grass. Just for a few weeks or months maybe”

I am raging with him the utter knob. We live on a main route into the city so yes it would be a prime position but I’ve never even heard of his friend. And there is nothing in it for us.

So AIBU? WWYD?

sigh men

OP posts:
SilverySurfer · 25/10/2019 15:50

I'm not seeing the problem then I read: And there is nothing in it for us so you're a greedy instead of cheeky fucker and obviously the whole concept of friendship has passed you by.

1forAll74 · 25/10/2019 15:52

It wouldn't bother me at all, It's good to help someone out with a business thing,, and you may have the benefit of some free joinery jobs done later,as a thank you.

CorBlimeyGovenor · 25/10/2019 15:57

Going against the grain, I wouldn't want the sign up in my garden! When we recently had a builders sign at the bottom of our drive due to renovation work, quite a few people knocked on the door to enquire about them! It's a bizarre/cheeky request from an acquaintance. I'm with the OP on this one.

Tractorgirlz · 25/10/2019 15:57

Serious over reaction. It’s hardly damaging your life is it? It’s a nice favour for a friend that takes no effort on your part.

SchadenfiendeUnmortified · 25/10/2019 15:59

I think you have to be careful about signs, as hey haven't to be in places that can distract drivers/ cause accidents etc.

I'm on your side OP - I wouldn't want some eyesore like that in my front garden unless I was getting free decking for the back garden .

Schuyler · 25/10/2019 16:01

If however he had agreed to have 17 angry hornets inserted into his anus? Yeah that would be stupid.”

Grin Grin

Deminism · 25/10/2019 16:10

yanbu.

I would be asking what does my dh owe this person in order to say yes. I would also then get dh to say sorry no the missus said no, or say so yourself when they arrive. But I don't even allow the school fete to be advertised in my front garden as I don't want passing strangers to know which school my kids go to so I may not be the most reasonable person to give an opinion!

shiningstar2 · 25/10/2019 16:10

I think I know where you are coming from and think that I would be a bit annoyed. First it's your home too and you should at least have been consulted about whether you were ok with this advert in your front garden. I'm not saying that your thoughts on the matter should have trumped your dh but there should have been some discussion and maybe a compromise. You could have ended up with 'no ...I really don't like this but if you really want to lets say he can do it for 4 weeks' for example. Secondly I would not like the idea of random strangers knocking at my door with their enquiries about this work. When you fielded the enquiries saying not your business and they must contact husband's friend directly I can't imagine it producing much work anyway.

BlastEndedSkrewt · 25/10/2019 16:12

I wouldn't want a big ugly sign out the front of my house but he has already agreed to it.

I would give it a few weeks, maybe a month then it would maybe 'blow over in the wind' so may as well stay down or move to it's next position

Isitnearlyweekend · 25/10/2019 16:18

Why on earth would this bother you. He’s trying to help a friend out.

summersherewishiwasnt · 25/10/2019 16:19

Unless he makes sex dungeons I can’t see the problem

Rezie · 25/10/2019 16:20

I wouldn't be raging but I wouldn't be happy to advertise a company I'm not familiar with. Wouldn't want to give a public stamp of approval on something I cannot stand behind.

Bluntness100 · 25/10/2019 16:22

Meh, he's helping a mate out. Is he only allowed to help out joint mates?

I'd not be overly delighted, but I'd accept it was my husband's home as well as mine and let him crack on, I'd probably say can he do it for a month or something,

I can't see the big deal if it's about the size of a for sale sign.

I'd suggest calming down.

sirfredfredgeorge · 25/10/2019 16:22

Everyone who's bothered by the sign spends ages every week huffing their bins and recycling through/round the house to the front garden, everyone who doesn't has them conveniently out front already.

People differ on what they thing the front of their house should be. It's unfair to say the people who care, or the people who spend their time moving their bins are mad or you shouldn't just help friends out without a quid pro quo beyond their friendship.

I get it a bit, but just don't say it blew over, and don't say it fell on the bonfire, just come to an agreement with your DH, it's certainly not something stupid, just something you disagree on.

OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg · 25/10/2019 16:23

My DH wouldn't do this but I'd be narked (in fact I'd be closer to raging because our deeds quite clearly prevent advertising on the premises so it would be a sign my DH hadn't bothered to check). Plus it's just common courtesy to run this sort of thing past your partner before agreeing to something that is going to have an aesthetic impact on the property you both live in.

I also agree with PPs about being worried that randoms would knock on the door / leave phone numbers through the door assuming it was the joiner's home.

Notodontidae · 25/10/2019 16:36

Common practice for someone doing some work for you anyway, good advertising. Your DH is going to look stupid if his mate asks him in the pub, and he says well Iv'e got to ask my DW if it's ok with her first. What if your friend asked if you could look after their Rabbit while thaey went on holiday, oh I dont know, I'll need to ask my DH if it's ok. I dont see a problem, the council might do though.

Derbee · 25/10/2019 16:39

I'd not be overly delighted, but I'd accept it was my husband's home as well as mine and let him crack on, I'd probably say can he do it for a month or something

I agree with this.

Beveren · 25/10/2019 16:44

Why are so many people so laid back about this? There's a whole host of guidance and regulations around this. OP's husband is clearly like many of the people on here who seriously believe this is just a matter of sticking a sign up in the garden whenever they fancy it.

Alsohuman · 25/10/2019 16:47

Why are so many people so laid back about this?

Maybe because they’re got better things to get their kickers twisted over.

FemaleEcho · 25/10/2019 16:49

My husband doesn't all my friends but he does know of ones that I'm close enough to who'd ask to use my garden for advertising.

I think that's what the OP means when she's mentioning never heard of him, not that she expects her husband to give her a list of his friends every week but that it sounds like someone who is more of an acquaintance or a friend from school who he doesn't see or interact with.

I'd do this for a friend, as long as I knew their business was above board etc, a friend who've I've not seen or spoke to since 1995 asking me out if the blue? Maybe not.

A friend starting a new business would be a big deal and I'd support them depending on the business and the quality of work but if a friend was close enough to ask me to do this I'd know if the quality of their work was good anyway. A family member once asked me to put a sticker in our car windows to help her with her "business" and she was told no because it was a for recruiting into an mlm.

OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg · 25/10/2019 16:53

Your DH is going to look stupid if his mate asks him in the pub, and he says well Iv'e got to ask my DW if it's ok with her first.

Or look like someone who respects his wife's opinion about the house that she lives in too.

TypingoftheDead · 25/10/2019 16:53

I wouldn't be raging, but I wouldn't be happy that he hadn't asked me first, either - it's your home as well as his, and like a PP said, the sign's basically advertising the business of someone you don't even know. Their work might not even be that good!

Roselilly36 · 25/10/2019 16:56

Just the sort of thing my DH would do, without thinking of asking me! Could you agree just to have it there for a set period of time.

Butterflyone12e · 25/10/2019 17:02

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fernandoanddenise · 25/10/2019 17:03

Can’t see a problem at all - your DH has done someone a favour. That’s nice.