to ditch my business partner?

[PenguinBollard]

We met abroad whilst working for the same company in a rather niche job role - I'd rather not disclose it because it'll probably be too revealing, so let's say Clown.

I'd been thinking of setting up a Clown recruitment agency for a while, and the thought had occurred to her too and decided shortly after meeting that we should do it together.

I'd been putting off setting up because I was worried about handling clients (I'm not a sales-type really) and she seemed an ideal partner because of her extreme confidence and charisma. All good.

I immediately started on branding, built a website, built a database blah blah but she kept on putting it off, next month, next month, next month so we didn't end up actually opening until 12 months later.

I left my job at the same time as the business started, and began working FT on it. She said she would hand in her notice.

This was back in May - she is still working FT as a Clown. This means 10-12 hours a day, 6 days a week (it's hard work Clowning) that she is at work and not available to contact.

In the meantime, I'm working 12 hours a day Mon-Sat, only 6 or 7 on Sundays - running the agency.

The original plan was that she would be bringing in the Clients - but she has failed to bring in any, all of the clients have found us through the marketing that I've been doing online.

After a couple of months, I got sick of doing all the work so we agreed that she would take on Clown interviews - a client would want a clown, I'd find the candidates, shortlist them, background check them etc etc - and she would conduct the registration interviews - about 20 mins of time but a relief to me, partly because I hate doing them.

Except, I've got to arrange these interviews - around her work schedule, around the clown's current work schedule - and then act as her PA to remind her to take the calls.

She repeatedly is late making the calls, and has actually forgotten entirely more than 6 times - last week a candidate was left waiting 2 hours whilst I was desperately trying to get ahold of BP to make the call.
One time, I arranged 5 calls only to have her ask me to rearrange them 30 mins beforehand because she wanted to go to a party.

She has told me the business is her life and she's constantly promoting it - but we never get new clients from her. She bought in 1 client, once, right at the beginning who was a mutual friend.

Obviously whilst she's working FT she can't work properly for the business anyway, but I don't really see what she can add to the business even if she leaves - she doesn't have the technical knowledge to do any of the online stuff, including marketing, and I don't trust her to do admin properly.
The business makes A LOT more than she makes working as a Clown anyway.
At the moment its all split 50/50 so she's making a fortune doing very little. (I worked out she basically gets about £3,000 for every 20 minute interview the other day)
In fact, a full time Clown Recruitment Consultant would be paid a lot less, and get a lot more done.

But this business was meant to be our baby, and I feel horrifically guilty at the idea of dumping her. I know that she won't understand the reasons why even if I explained, and would make a massive fuss about how I betrayed her - which I guess leaving her would be a betrayal?

I know that business is cold, and harsh etc - but I'm not and I don't want to become that person.

"Hi
I've been thinking a lot about this over the past few weeks and months, and I've come to a difficult decision regarding the business.

I've decided to go my own way with the business, and take it in a different direction. We're putting in very different hours and efforts. It's clear that it won't sustain us both with the current way things are split so after we have completed the XXXX role and the XXXX role in the next week or so - I would like us to part ways professionally.
I'll wind up the accounts and pay you your share for the work you've put in.

I know that you are going to say that you will put in more time once you've left XXXXXX, but really you've had the last 6 months to demonstrate what you can bring to the business and in the nicest way, I'm not sure you can (or want to) meet your 50% share even without other commitments.

I don't want there to be any bad feeling, I think you're brilliant and we got on very well - it's just clear that a business partnership isn't working."

I don't think there's much chance for the friendship if the second to last paragraph is included.

If you're getting cold feet, I would at least ask her to send a list of who she has contacted/what has been done so far under the guise of wanting to consolidate the marketing data base. Then you will have an idea of how much work she has actually done. That will put you in a stronger position negotiating. It may also give you the courage to realise you can do this alone once you realise that is exactly what you have been doing...

Then get some legal advice next week on dissolving the partnership and pluck up the courage to discuss deducting hours with her.

I don't think there's much chance for the friendship if the second to last paragraph is included.

Maybe not, but it's true and I think needs to be said.

"I don't think there's much chance for the friendship if the second to last paragraph is included."

Maybe not, but it's true and I think needs to be said

Very true. I was just going by your then last paragraph. You'll obviously send what you need to, I was just making a point.

I hope it all works out well for you.

Hi OP

Sorry, I've read the first and last page of your thread so hope I can get away without reading the full thread.

I was wondering if you gave both put in an equal amount of capital into the business for it to be a 50/50 partnership. It doesn't seem that way.

Maybe you could have a different business relationship in that you have the business but you pay her on a commission basis when she gets a sale.

If you dump her, is it likely she would go into competition with you by setting up her own agency?

She really isn’t a great person, you know. She is taking 50% of your profit fully knowing that you work much harder for the money than she does. She may be nice to chat to but nice through and through she is not.

Has she replied??

Yes, she replied very quickly.

"I was expecting this. After we finish with these jobs, we need to take my name out of the company etc. You were clear on the messages, so no need for me to say anything else."

I was/am completely astounded that that was it. I was expecting her to argue back, possibly get cross, or upset or just to brush it off again.

But she seems so resigned - it actually made me feel worse.

Having talked it through with OH and a couple of friends (who never met her, but had heard plenty of phone calls etc), the theory is that she just didn't have her heart in it and actually found the whole thing very stressful and overwhelming.
I suspect she thought that she'd be able to rustle up a lot more business a lot quicker from her contacts (admittedly, so did I) and was at a loss when that didn't work, and didn't know where to go from there.

She's a very bold, very confident, very gregarious person and I think that had us both convinced that she'd excel at the job - I really hope it hasn't damaged her self esteem.

I don't feel good about the whole thing at all, we chatted briefly about one of the jobs we have on, but when I asked if she was okay she stopped replying.

I think this is the best result you could have hoped for. A natural cynic growing ever worse in my early middle age, I think she could be trying to make you feel bad. Don’t let her.

Grasp this opportunity for a dignified exit with both hands and Carry on Clowin’!

Well done OP that’s a good result. You need to take her at face value, she knew full well she wasn’t putting in the same effort as you or getting the results you’d both hoped for. It may well have been quite stressful for her (although the 50% profit share may have eased that somewhat).

I’d keep all comms to business until the clients are done and the paperwork / money sorted. Once you’ve dissolved your partnership formally, you might be able to go back to her with friendly words and reassure her that there’s no hard feelings on your part, keep in touch etc and offer commission on future referrals if she’d be interested etc.

Until then it’s probably a bit raw for her to think about the whole being friends etc.

If she means something else and isn’t happy, she needs to talk to you straight so I wouldn’t worry about second guessing any other of her motivations or feelings. She can hardly complain if you go along with what she’s said.

She's just replied to my "Are you okay?" with "I' will to have to be", and I'm concerned she feels like she's been bullied out.

@Butchyrestingface Thank you
@HelloYouTwo You're right, need to keep thinks business like until we're all sorted

Well done, she knew she wasn't pulling her weight. Don't let her guilt trip you. I think that she did very well on the back of all your hard work.
You have been very generous spirited about her. A kind jester.

My friend was a clown in a circus in human cannonball act. She moved on to higher things, and we couldn’t find anyone else of the same calibre.

To be honest, I wouldn't second guess yourself now. She was happy enough to take the money, even though she new you were doing the lion's share of the work.

Aaargh *knew

Well done OP, you managed that really well.

You are empathising with her too much; wondering if she is OK, maybe she feels bullied, why does she sound resigned. None of her emotions are your problem. Try to create a bit of emotional distance from this and be purely professional. You were more than reasonable with her; you gave her 50% of the profits, and you didn't even pay yourself a salary first! She has a full time job already, you're not tossing her out on the street. Please don't feel bad, or try to give her more money than she has earned to assuage your guilt in some way. Maybe in a few months you can be friends again, but now is the time to concentrate on the future of your business.

Congratulations for making such a success of it by the way; that's really commendable (especially impressive since you were tipping out half of the earnings!). Don't let fear and doubt hold you back, you were capable of doing this alone all along.

She's right. She will have to be, because it is a business, she wasn't pulling her weight and now the business is moving on without her. Take the emotion out of it and treat it as a purely a business move. She can deal with her own emotions. They aren't your responsibility.

Just tell her how I t is. Go back to being social mates. If she gets pissy about it, say what you said here and stick to your guns.

Anyone who’s happy to take £3k a month for doing the square route of fuck all is taking you for a mug. She should be embarrassed and ashamed doing this to a mate.

Just saw your update. Well done.

Stop feeling bloody guilty. She was taking the piss along with your hard earned money.
Draw a line and move forward so that your continued success will no longer be funding dead weight. If you had a useless employee you would get rid. This is no different.

Ugh, ridiculous with that, “I’ll have to be,” nonsense. PP was right: she’s been happy to take money for months to do sweet fuck-all, finally gets called on how insane this is, and instead of ever apologizing for taking you for a ride, she tries to lay the guilt trip.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers. Either don’t respond and just send her a breezy message wishing her the best and don’t engage further. It’s not your job to deal with this - after all, you’ve already given her in the ballpark of £18,000 (if it was £3K a month someone said? Clowning is lucrative! 🤡 ) for doing no work, so she can use some hundred-pound notes to dry her tears, no doubt.

"I'll have to"

could mean "I know I've been leeching off your efforts and you've now realised and stopped me"

or it could mean "it's not fair, you're just being mean, I thought we were friends, I hate you"

Onwards lass.

At least now you can crack on with your business without having to consider the partner.

It sounds like you've worked really hard on this business, and she hasn't as shes been benefitting from the money without having to do much. I would definitely go it alone, she has had chances by the sound of it, and if she was as commited as you she would have left her job (it's scary so can see her not doing it straight away, but now money is rolling in she could with relatively low risk); if she doesn't want to that's fine but it's not fair on you to be equal partners if this is the case. She probably knows you don't like upsetting people so has been not overly bothered, and being late for interviews could be really bad for your reputation. Get rid.