To spend my children’s birthday money on them?

[Horcrux]

My children receive money from GPs for birthdays and christmases, but because I often use my money for days out and stuff they end up wracking lots of cash in their drawers.

They’re 6 & 10.

This last half term I have been using their cash to pay for days out for them. Otherwise we’d just be stuck in the house as I can’t afford it!

I feel so guilty! So hoping you guys will tell me it’s okay! 😬

Why not, it’s been given for them to enjoy whether it’s toys, clothes or days out.

I think it's fine as long as you tell them that the day out was their birthday present from their GPs (or whoever)

YANBU.
Maybe for Christmas ask the GPs to give them (and you?) membership for somewhere they like? Or gift experiences? Then you won't feel so bad?

Thats fine, DHs parents always give about £150 to DS for birthdays/Christmas. I'm not giving a 3 year old that much!

I let him choose 1 big toy (no more than £40) and the rest gos towards each terms swimming lessons.

PILs know and think its sensible, they expect some of the money to go on a fun toy but the rest is really for DH and I to buy sensible things with.

That's what the money is for - to treat them. Please don't feel guilty.

Yanbu. I do that too. My dc have loads of toys but we can't afford days out which they love. I've asked in-laws for a membership to national trust or similar for Christmas this year (they asked me for a list of ideas, I wasn't being a CF )

I don’t think that’s ok. Ask them what they would like and give them options like a range of days outs. Their money, their decision.

Don’t they have savings accounts?

I do the same. I let DD chose a toy she likes then will put the rest towards either a day out or something she needs. The people who give her the money know this though and tell me to spend it how I feel best (as long as it benefits DD)

I think as long as you tell your DC that the day out is a present from whichever relative, than that is fine.

100% ok in my opinion.

Totally fine. Good use of the money I think.

They're 6 & 10, so as long as you have a sensible discussion with them about their birthday money, then it's fine.

But if you use it without their knowledge, at those ages, I think that would be different.

I'd have no qualms about taking my DC to a theme park, say, as part of their birthday present from GPs, we'd just make sure everyone knew that was the plan for the money.

If they want to goto theme parks etc. and you can't afford it then let them know that they can go BUT it will come out of their money (it's also a good way of judging a child's true wants from their whims as often they don't realise the costs involved).

My stepdaughter always gets given money from relatives and, if we didn't make her 'use her own money' to buy things (clothes she wants, things she wants to do with her friends) it would just stockpile. Let's face it, they have no bills to pay so things they 'want' is what this money is for.

The only thing I'd say is, if they ask to go somewhere that costs money, make sure they know it's coming from their birthday money so they can make the decision.

I also think you should be a bit more transparent. Are the gifters aware this is what you are doing? Are your children aware that when you are doing nice things, it's X who is paying for it as part of their birthday present?

I think it’s a great idea . Take lots of photos for people who gave you the money so they can see the children enjoying their present . I would be pleased if I sent money and it was spent this way

If I gave cash to someone's dc for their birthday or Christmas I'd be delighted they used it towards a day out. Even if that was just a trip to the local pool or a ride on the little train at the park. It's be nice to get a picture of them enjoying whatever they did with it.

Would it not be better to open a savings ac and spend half on trips and save half?
I also think you should tell the kids and the giver of the gift this is how you’re thinking of spending the money, if everyone’s in agreement I think it’s a good use of the money.

I would be more than happy if my gift was used for a fun day out and a memory and to get a photo of them on their day out would make me extremely happy. I would want it to be said oh socks gave you £15 so were going to the cinema etc so they know it's a gift from me.

I think others have hit the nail on the head with saying very good idea, but it has to be transparent.

So you say to the dc, "We'll use the money to go to Legoland at half term that'll be a good day out." and to the giver "thank you for the money, we're using it to go to Legoland, which they will love, but it's too expensive for us to go normally."

It might be even nicer if you said to the dc that they, say have enough money to go to 2 places, so let them choose one place each, so they also have had a choice on where to spend the money.

But you wouldn't be stuck in the house without it. At that age there's plenty of days out you can do without costing money: parks, some museums, feed the ducks, even go to the library goes down well.

i give my grandchildren money for christmas and birthdays and never even think about where the money goes after i have given it to them, most of mine are old enough to spend it themselves the younger ones i dont even ask their moms what it got spent on, so as people have said as long as the children know that its their birthday money being spent why not

Perfectly fine way to spend the money imo

Fine, as long as you told them this.

I often use my money for days out and stuff they end up wracking lots of cash in their drawers.

This problem would be solved if you opened savings accounts for your children then some of the money given as gifts could be saved and some spent on days out, chosen by the DC.