AIBU to ask if your year 6 child is self-sufficient in the mornings?

[Funkyslippers]

...because mine certainly isn't! She would forget her packed lunch if I didn't remind her. I make it for her. She usually loses something at the last minute. This morning she couldn't find her tie (pretty important). I found it after searching high and low for 15 mins, hanging on the bannister under a load of coats. She must have dumped it there last night and forgot all about it. I also have to remind her that breakfast is at 8am and I usually make it for her. I have to chivvy her along all the time or she'd be late. I'm probably not helping in the long run!

No. Ds can mostly get dressed in easy clothes himself but school uniform is shirt and tie so he needs help with the buttons. This morning his nappy was dirty as well as wet so I needed to sort that out, also help him get his shoes on the right feet. He usually needs some chivvying as well. He has school dinners mostly but I make the dc's packed lunches for school trips etc in primary, the secondary aged dc make their own. I make breakfast usually, it depends what they are having.

Nooo. Not at all

'@elliejjtiny' are you talking about a 6 year old or a child in year 6?

Year 6? Yes. She independently wakes, dresses and feeds herself. She will ask if she can make her breakfast otherwise she could end up eating at 6:30 and would be hungry by the time she got to school!!! And I chivvy the 8 year old along who has no interest in forward movements unless it’s towards the new kitten!

Dd was, ds1 not.
Ds2 is y5 and probably will be by next year.

DS gets himself ready, sorts breakfast etc without me reminding him and is ready to leave the house however if I did not remind him to take his music stuff, PE kit, books or lunch etc then he would definitely leave without stuff he needed for that day.

I would expect a year 6 child to be able to sort themselves in the mornings. They’re going to have a massive shock when they go to secondary with organisation if they can’t even make themselves breakfast and get dressed of a morning.

I had to go down the 'launchpad' route with my youngest... Get absolutely everything ready the night before, as soon as dinner was over, and put it in a clearly defined place. No TV or screen time was allowed until he'd done it. He's now in year 8 and a lot more, er, independent stroppy , but still sorts himself out well

Mine are year 3, 4 and 5 and they all wake up, get dressed and get breakfast without prompt. They only need nagging at to brush hair and teeth.

We also make sure everything is ready the night before.

My year 5 child gets dressed, brushes his teeth and sorts out his school bag, PE kit etc. I make his breakfast. He sometimes asks for help looking for something but basically he's self sufficient.

Once he's out of bed, yes. Its the act of actually rising from his pit he cant seem to manage without me losing my shit encouragement

At 6 yes. Year 6 your having a laugh

Mine could, but would forget something.
That said, the last school (we moved over the summer) had a pretty complicated set of PE/music/clothing/food/coming home time requirements, so there was a big post it on the wall with what everyone needed each day, and he managed with that.
He doesn't do week day breakfasts, but does at the weekends.

My yr 5 DS certainly can't!
This morning for e.g. I needed to stand over him while he brushed his teeth as I was correctly informed by my yr.4 daughter he was just brushing with water ( cue much arguing/pushing and shoving). I also had to put his jumper on the right way as it was inside out and he informed me he wasn't bothered when I told him. He then laid on the wet floor I had just mopped and needed a full change anyway. On leaving the house he jogged along minus his swimming bag ( that I reminded him about as I locked up). We had to go back

It's so frustrating as I'm the super organised sort

Good god what are you doing to these poor children to make them so incompetent

I’m genuinely shocked reading some of these posts!

Year 4 & year 5 here.

They both get up, make beds/open curtains. Get themselves breakfast and a cup of tea then get themselves washed, teeth brushed and dressed. They’ll put their lunchboxes in their bags just before we leave.

We started this routine when they started school though so they’re used to it now. Obviously they were supervised and given reminders/guidance at first but since year 2 they’ve been pretty much doing it alone while I get myself ready for work.

It does make it easier I think that

A) They make their lunches the night before
B) They don’t wear school uniform
C) They’re not allowed screen time until all jobs are done.

Mine are year 3, year 6 and year 8. They all get their own breakfast and dressed, the yr6 will even do bacon or banana omlettes if she feels like it and has time, all are capable of cereal, toast, porridge.

It's only really the yr3 that needs help if he can't find something or needs a packed lunch. And then it is only help, not me doing it for him. Yr6 and 8 do their own packed lunches when needed.

All are responsible for knowing what they need each day and ensuring that they find it/take it with them.

Op get her to get herself organised the night before for e.g

Take a shower at evening so it saves time at morning getting ready (just have a quick wash, brush teeth)

Get her to gather her school uniform in the evening, including fresh underwear and school shoes and lay them out ready for next morning (if anything needs ironing then get her to iron it in the evening, so that the next morning there is no messing around and rushing)

Get her to double check her school bag the evening before that she has all the right home work/school books, p.e kits etc and have it sat in the hall by the door, ready to grab and go the next morning

Have her make her own packed lunch the evening before, (make sandwiches and keep in fridge overnight, for example) and anything that doesn't need refrigerating could go in her packed lunch the night before, so she just has to add the refrigerated stuff the next morning (sandwiches etc)

Have her get ready and then eat breakfast last after washing and dressing(then if she not hurrying herself, then at least she is already ready)

Give her an earlier bedtime, so that she can have a bit more sleep, it might help her feel a bit more awake in the mornings....

Also you are the parent, set the tone, if it's time to get up for school, go get her out of bed...if she has to do it every day it will soon get her body into a new habit of waking and getting ready and eating

Others are right, she needs to learn to organise herself now as once she is at secondary school she will need those organisation skills

I'm a bit amused by a year 4 child making themselves a cup of tea, Minerva. There's nothing at all wrong with it - I just associate cups of tea with grown-ups.

DD is year 7 now, but yes, in year 6 she was already self-sufficient and it was good preparation for the transition to secondary. My mantra is that if you need to bring something to school, put it in front of the door the night before so that you can't forget it - you'll trip over it if nothing else.

My dc are not yet y6 (one is still in ks1) but they get their own breakfasts, get themselves dressed and get their own coats and shoes on. Yes, they have to be told a few times to stop dicking about and get on with it but otherwise they're pretty much self sufficient.

I think perhaps you should make a list for her to tick off as she goes and don't allow any TV or phone time until she's completely ready. Also, within reason obviously, let her live with her own mistakes/laziness/disorganisation: she doesn't eat her breakfast? She goes to school hungry. She can't find her tie? She goes without it and gets told off for not wearing the correct uniform. She is late for school? She's the one who faces the consequences.

My Year 6 boy has been known to get to the end of the road with no shoes on.

This time last year, our then-y6 DS was much as you describe. Even at the beginning of this term, going into y7 he needed some prodding. But he has cracked and by this week he is pretty much self sufficient. I think that the first and last years at primary school both see kids have huge development spurts - different but just as big in many ways.