AIBU to ask if your year 6 child is self-sufficient in the mornings?

[Funkyslippers]

...because mine certainly isn't! She would forget her packed lunch if I didn't remind her. I make it for her. She usually loses something at the last minute. This morning she couldn't find her tie (pretty important). I found it after searching high and low for 15 mins, hanging on the bannister under a load of coats. She must have dumped it there last night and forgot all about it. I also have to remind her that breakfast is at 8am and I usually make it for her. I have to chivvy her along all the time or she'd be late. I'm probably not helping in the long run!

Spied you put a jumper on a year 5?? Leave him with it inside out and then he lay on a wet floor????

We have used a launchpad since reception. Everything gets put out ready the night before then they were expected to get themselves ready.

Not quite, but then I'm fairly incompetent and usually lose something at the last moment too.

At Y6 DD was up, dressed, breakfasted, packed lunch in her bag.

DS2 couldn’t find his butt with both hands and a flashlight. Lovely lad, really bright, away with the fairies. Managed to lose ONE SHOE on his way home from school. How???? Did he hop? No one knows.

DS1 was somewhere in between.

We wake DC, who then gets breakfast, dressed, teeth, makes a packed lunch and is ready to be collected on time.

I give reminders the night before to check school bag and look for clean clothes. I'm happy to help look for things the night before but step right back in the morning and now let DC forget stuff and take the consequences at school. It's a good reminder to prepare the night before when something gets forgotten.

This is a newish routine for us. DC much prefers taking responsibility and having me out of their hair.

Bibliomania Their “cups of tea” originally started as cups of warm milk to warm up in the mornings before school (no central heating here) but one particularly cold morning we didn’t have much milk left so I let them make a cup of tea... big mistake, they never went back

We’re in NZ and my friends laugh and find it so “typically English” when the dc ask for a cup of tea.

I have zero idea what all the years mean but my 9 year old will get up, get her uniform and other bits depending on what clubs she has (so instrument and music sheets, chess set, dance gear etc) that day. She makes her bed and picks up any mess on her floor (toys from her bed, jammies etc). She does this without reminder or encouragement.

She gets her and (sometimes) her sister’ breakfast and puts out her snack for school. Again completely independently.

She brushes teeth and double checks she has homework, paperwork, class book, any monies due etc. As above. (Though I do double check, usually unnecessarily).

I do her hair, some reading or a game (as it’s some 1:1 time before school) and her packed lunch.

She does all this while I’m dealing with my 6 year old, nappy, meds, physio, dressed, fed etc, etc.

I would love to do a bit more for her in the morning but she doesn’t have the option.

I have Y6 twins and as much as they should be self sufficient, they’re not.

They can get themselves up and fed, and will (eventually) get their teeth cleaned, but every morning we have the ‘I can’t find my jumper’ or similar conversation. It’s exhausting. Constantly chivvied along to get shoes on, pick up lunch boxes, don’t forget it’s PE today etc.

Husband puts their clothes out ready for them as well . I’ve told them if they think they’re going to be walking to school alone they need to start being a little bit more self-sufficient!

To those of you saying the kids make toast - what age did you let them loose with the bread knife?

@ScottishBadger age 6, oops, didn't read the title properly

Why do you need a bread knife to make toast? Anyway, I let my dc loose with a sharp kitchen knife at around 6 when they started making their own sandwiches and filling them with things like cheese, onion and tomato.

I love it, Minerva!

Yes. My year 4, 5 and 7 are all self sufficient really. Eldest is very much so, and I do think having them already self sufficient and organised in year 6 makes the secondary transition much easier.

Thanks all. Someone (sorry forgot who) mentioned ironing - she's never ironed anything in her life!!!!

My year 1 and year 3 manage.

I wake them up (if not up already) they get dressed on their own, and my elder one sorts out breakfast (only time I ever help if for porridge as I don’t like them doing it)

Only thing they need reminding of it teeth brushing and hair.

Exit Because in this house, bread come in loaves, not slices. So sandwiches and toast require the bread to be sliced.
Sharp knives have been used for several years, under supervision. But not the bread knife yet. I'm wondering if not making their own lunch is down to knife usage rather than compentancy in this house.

Ds1 is 10 and in year 5, he gets up by himself and makes us a cup of tea. He can do his own toast but not cereal as he would fill the bowl to the brim before the milk.
He can get himself dressed but massively struggles with socks for some reason. Brushes his own teeth and then sets off to meet his friend. I do need to be chivvying along though as he’ll get distracted very easily.

coldrainagain if they can use sharp knives then I expect you could teach them how to use the bread knife fairly easily.

My DC uses the bread knife but I tend to cut a loaf lengthways down the middle first and place it flat sides down to make two narrower loaves. The loaf is too high for DC to cut accurately otherwise.

Ds is nearly 11. He ignores his alarm and has to be dragged out of bed (he's like a teenager when it comes to waking up). He can get dressed (apart from his tie) and can make a bowl of cereal. I have to remind him to check he has the correct sports kit/ guitar/ school books.

Disorganisation is his biggest issue at school.

My DC are 7 (yr 3) and 10 (yr 6).

They both get themselves up at 6:30am (they wake up naturally, no alarm) and go downstairs and get themselves breakfast -- cereal, toast, fruit, yoghurt etc.

I get up at 7. They get themselves ready for school, but with some nagging gentle reminders about brushing teeth/hair and gathering all the things they need.

They both love the independence of being first up and eating breakfast in peace :) This may change when we hit the teenage/not wanting to wake up years...

Yes. My son was self sufficient from about 8 years old in the morning? No idea if this normal or not though! lol

@xyzandabc banana omelette? Tell me more!

Dd is 5 and gets herself up and ready, breakfast made/tidied away and snack packed. I make everyone’s lunches at the same time but she’s responsible for putting it in the bag with ice pack.
She’s almost there with tying her own hair up, but it’s a bit messy so I do it for her when it matters. If just going to the park or whatever she can get ready herself.

Other dd has just turned 3, gets dressed by herself, makes drink and breakfast ( uses a measuring scoop to get right amount of cereal) but her big sister it I pour her milk. Brushes her own hair but I tie it up. Packs her own drink, snack and if we are going out, an activity, her lunchbox and ice pack. Struggles a bit with current shoes but otherwise gets clothes on right 95% of the time.

Dd1 on the other hand, now teenager, I still dressed until she was 7 or 8. She hated school so always dragged her heels. Right until she left high school I was constantly reminding her about stuff. ( does have ADD diagnosis)

Yes she does. Partly because she’s reasonably well organised and partly as she has two siblings with Sen so is used to getting herself sorted. Her sibling is in year 5 and has asd and adhd and requires complete management.

I also have adult DCs in their 20s and I will say that what they couldn't do for themselves at 10/11/12 or even at 14 turned out not to hinder them as adults at all. They both left home at 18 to go to Uni and managed perfectly fine! Hence I don't worry too much about my 10 year old. They all get there in the end.

I co-parent my gr 5 grandson . He is fully independant in the mornings - gets himself up and dressed appropriately, makes his own breakfast, and then goes and plays computer games for a while. At some stage he remembers about lunch, so he goes and makes himself a basic packed lunch ( a simple sandwich, some fruit, a few biscuits, bottle of water ). I drive him to school ,but he gets the bus in the afternoons and then walks about 10 minutes to get home. So yes he is independent and is in gr 5. I think a lot of this is because he and his older sister live with their father, who doesn't enable them to be dependent for their normal daily activities. He is loving and fun, but he expects them to crack on and get things done without constant reminders .