AIBU about birthday present??

[mumofthreepeople]

Really unsure whether I ABU or not?

I have older kids, my only brother has one toddler daughter, my only niece.

He was so generous with my kids for years at bdays and Christmas. I'm talking black bags full of toys each. Of course I always told him he didn't need to do this but we appreciated it and tbh looked forward to it every year as we ddidnt but much for our kids throughout year so was lovely to see them opening them all at Christmas.

He loved doing t as he had no kids and was single so had the money to do it.

As mine got older, and I had more kids, the present got more practical which I understood but they would still be very generous like for example Xbox game each.

So fast forward my niece comes along, I looked forward to spoiling her a little every Christmas and birthday.

I don't buy her much during the year but each birthday and Christmas, Sil gets onto me and tells me what she needs (last year was pjs) and warns me not to buy anything else. She said it's too much waste and takes over the house. I don't go too mad as have my own kids but would buy maybe 6 toys for her. Last Xmas I felt Sil was annoyed opening them and tbh it ruined the experience of giving!

They don't like her having plastic toys so DM and I said we'd love to go halves on a wooden playhouse for their garden, which they have loads of room for in garden nd she has minimal toys(no garden toys at all).

DM spoke to DB about it he had ok'd it then I got a text telling me they only want one small present for her..so we have had to forget about the house.

I'm just sick of having a negative vibe around her presents. I love buying for her and she really loves toys and gets so much out of them.

The playhouse is a nice idea but it will need assembling and I’m guessing you’re not offering to also do this. My Grandad bought the DC one one year and whilst it was a lovely gesture, it took me ages to get around to assembling it and even when I did the DC didn’t want to play in it much. It just sat going mouldy at the back of the garden tbh till I got rid.

I understand her not wanting plastic toys, I’m the same. She asked you not to buy toys last year and you ignored her request, I’d be pretty pissed off too.

Ol I get it, I am being unreasonable! I will defo look into experiences from now on. She is getting older now so can get more from them.

That's a very reasonable and grown up response. Reported as not in the spirit of the site :-)

You are supposed to insist that you are correct and double down on the rhetoric, then flounce.

I think they’ll really appreciate you re-thinking it, and hopefully lots of lovely experiences will ensue!

I understand the joy that giving brings but surely it doesn't really feel as good when you know the family don't want/need it. As a world we have to cut down on consumerism, we are killing the planet. I'm awful for loving buying things and I'm having to really think before each purchase I make. This year all my nieces and nephews are getting new PJ's, a practical gift that their parents will be happy with, as a comprises for my love of gift buying but without annoying SIL I am adding a hand made cracker to the top of the present that will have a tiny gift inside, nothing tat, just a bit more exciting, a bath bomb/Lego figure/shaped rubber etc, something that goes with something they already have.

I know Wagtail just wanted attention but on the off chance they're telling the truth I hope the parents find out beforehand so they can make sure Wagtail isn't welcome at Christmas.

Imagine being such a cunt that you deliberately turn up with the exact same toy Santa brought for a child just so you could get some attention yourself.