To retract party invite

[mummyofthreemunchkins]

Ok, so we are hosting our annual halloween parry next week. I gave DD 8 invitations to hand out to her friends. This was a good couple of weeks ago so we could get our RSVPs back in plenty of time seeing as it falls in the half term...
I have heard back from 6, one will let us know tomorrow, one has turned round to DD and told her, yes if she's not doing anything else.
It has really annoyed me, maybe unreasonably and feel we are being used as a 'if nothing better comes along, last resort'
I really feel like I want to tell them the invite is no longer valid, DD got a bit upset, so I told her she's got until tomorrow to give a yes or no, otherwise it's a no-go.
These girls are not best friends, obviously they get on for my DD to invite her, but it won't make a huge difference to DD whether she's there or not, of that sways anything.
I just don't know if I've taken it a bit too much to heart!

But she could mean 'unless my family have planned something I don't know about yet'?

Yes YABU, family may have other commitments at last minute, what if they have a sick relative or similar? Not the child’s fault the parents won’t or can’t commit yet.

The child will just mean if her parents aren’t taking her anywhere else, surely? She’s too young to commit to an event, or she’s too old for an invite-only Halloween party at her friend’s parents?

It's really important to include the kid's ages here OP

If they're teenagers then it was rude

If they're young children then she probably meant if her family haven't planned anything else.

I just wouldn't care about this. And I wouldn't have said anything to my DC. I am sure it will be an ace party. Don't let this spoil it for you. It doesn't really matter if one child comes / doesn't come / comes as they are not doing something else. We have a long standing group we go to every year, it might be something like that which they might feel obliged to go to but haven't been invited yet.

How old are the kids? 8??
If so, then it isn’t really up to a child where they go is it?

She probably meant she can only go if her parents haven't planned anything! I agree, ask her tomo and tell her you need to know by tomo.

Mouthfulofquiz the OP hasn't given us any idea of how old the kids are.

Yabu . If it was the 8 YO who said it then, she would’ve meant it like ‘if mum says yes’

I assume that she means that she doesn't know whether her parents have other plans for her. Most 8 year olds won't know what's on the family calendar.

Is there a reason that you think otherwise?

It sounds like they’re still relatively little if you gave the invitations to the children. In this case I would contact the parents.

From the OP....

I gave DD 8 invitations to hand out to her friends.

I have heard back from 6

So I don't think the OP is saying her DD is 8.

In my experience Halloween parties are more casual affairs. I have never had to rsvp to one.

So maybe the child (?) didn’t realise she had to rsvp.

Would one uncertain attendee really Impact your night? I understand numberS are needed for weddings, dinner parties and children’s parties. But surely not essential for house parties?

If they are teens, then house parties are defiantly casual.

Definitely depends on the child’s age. Younger kids don’t always have the best social etiquette. If teens then yes it’s rude.

If it won't make a difference why are you bothered?

DD8 unless op has 7 other daughters

Even if they are a teen they may have to check with parents- both my ds would check with me and their dad to make sure something is not going on, so may well answer in the same way, not meaning ‘if I haven’t got anything else on and you are the last option’ just in a ‘I have to check my parents haven’t arranged something’ kind of way. You’ve taken this OTT.

Don't get involved in your child's squabbles.

They will probably be bffs again tomorrow.

Jesus you don’t uninvite an 8 year old because you’re miffed!

Yes you’re right it’s 8 invitations.

But it doesn’t matter how old the children involved are - you still don’t disinvite children out of pique.

Pretty sure its 8 invitations...6 responded, 1 will respond tomorrow and the other 1 OP annoyed at.
Age is key here

How old are they? Could just be thoughtless phrasing.

I'm organising a grown up party and have had a similar response off 2 people - so rude! I literally didn't know what to say.

Perhaps she’s repeating what her mum said when she asked if she could go? ‘Yes, if we aren’t doing something else that day’ eg family day out not yet planned. Still arguably rude depending on age, but the mum may have said it when she first got the invitation and hadn’t worked out what they were doing that week yet.