To feel pissed off at teen on our hol?

[YouAreTheEggManIAmTheWalrus]

Bit of background- single parent for 15 years, one ds almost 16. Paid a fricking small fortune for a half-term holiday abroad, 24 hrs all inclusive, every sport under the sun, because ds said this would potentially be
the last hol just the two of us as he's planning to go with friends from herein..
I'm currently writing this from the beach, been here on my own since 10am, he slept til 12, ate, went back to sleep, got up 2pm but stayed by pool and now at footy.
Anyway, I had (unreasonably it turns out) expected him to want to spend at least some time with me. But evidently not many other Brits are on half term and he hasn't really had anyone to hang out with, so he literally spent the first 3 days sulking in the room, watching f*#£&!g Netflix on his phone.
By day 3 I had words, as to me this was ridiculous and he did start to go out of the room and take part in tennis, archery, footie etc but still has no interest whatsoever in spending any time with me. It's all I can do to have him sit and eat a meal with me before he gets up and goes back to the room & facetiming his mates/watching downloaded movies.
So.. AIBU to feel absolutely gutted?
Have I expected too much or is he just being a typical selfish teen?
Is this normal for a nearly 16 year old?
I've been in tears a couple of times this week but two days ago just thought bollocks to it and went off on my own and have enjoyed as much as poss. But I have felt like I've utterly wasted £2k, we may as well have stayed at home & my relationship with my son is feeling none existent right now. Can anyone reassure me this is normal?

Is it typical, sadly yes, it is. Is it right, God no. Does it get better, yes, thankfully it does.

I've been there too, including the tears.

Mine is the same. After a disastrous Eurocamp holiday last year where she got sunburn on day 1 and refused to leave the mobile home barely for 2 weeks, this year we went interrailing at her request. She was still happiest with Netflix and Wifi despite trailing round in the heat to see things she was apparently desperate to see. She did say she had a nice time. But I decided that was time to draw a line under it. It's sad when the family holiday dies a death but I am looking at the upside of no-longer having to think of fussy eaters and kids activities.

Surprised to hear so many people say this is normal. We went to Mexico this year with our 15, 13 and 11 year old. 15 year old was pretty attached to his phone (lay on a sunlounger watching netflix at times) but joined in everything, came to every meal with us etc. Booked some stuff I knew he'd like (a surfing lesson for us all, an atv trip, a boat to snorkel at an island, went on the bus to the town and ate street food etc) and we all had a good time. I'd insist on meal times as a minimum. Then perhaps see if there's something you could do together?

Normal IME too.

We cruise mostly and he makes friends and spends his whole time either with them or watching films etc. We do insist my DS comes to dinner and puts the phone down then, he dashed off before dessert usually. He also has to come a do a little sightseeing with us when we’re in port. So long as he does both of those, I let him spend the rest of the time as he pleases.

I have a 15 year old son and he's really sociable, we spend lots of time together doing stuff (I hope that doesn't change next year 😱 ) I'd be a bit sad about the way he's behaving too OP and annoyed after spending all that money. But try and enjoy the "me time" and sun

Although not every teen is the same, I think there are more like this and the teens willing to spend time with parents are in the minority.
Just enjoy the holiday for yourself OP.

Ungrateful little shit.

Sounds pretty standard to me. Friend's son who I holday with main requirements are WiFi, food and a car he can sleep in the back of. But will tell his sister later that he had a fantastic time, saw loads etc.

God, OP, that was my last summer.
I had the inspiration to book somewhere with it’s own pool two feet away from our room. So I woke up every morning, had brekkie and endless coffees by the pool, kindle, I kept myself company, quite content. She slept till 12-1-2 pm, didn’t move from the sun lounge till dinner etc. We made it to the beach twice. Under extreme duress she took a day trip with me, I paid for that through the nose.

No more holidays with her. We’re sticking to city breaks. I just asked her if she wants to see her grannie abroad this half term, I’ll pay for her flight, she looked dismayed at me: you’re not coming? No lovely, you can take yourself off to Europe, it’s time you annoyed the rest of the family 😂.
I’m a single mum as well. I see it as getting my freedom and cheap holidays back. All good.

I don't think this is normal, really, and I can understand why you're upset as I would be too. It's a lot of money to spend to then feel it's been wasted.

I have a 15 year old and an almost 18 year old. We are on holiday atm, and I'd be glad of a few hours to myself (with DH) as they want us to do everything together, although I accept my dc may just be odd, and maybe girls are different, lol.

They're more than capable of spending time without us (& at home would), but have said it's a family holiday, we don't get to spend much time together as a family, they miss that and they want to spend time with us; whether that's just lazing by the pool or out sightseeing.

All joking aside, it's actually been really nice.

I'm not sure how you handle what's going on, but I wouldn't be able to say nothing and I'd have to say how disappointed I was. Good luck with whatever you do and I hope you get to the bottom of it

Yes it was never going to work, 16YO independant, had you not been single, he would have stayed behind and wrecked the house while you conoodled on the silver sand. You obviously have a pretty good relationship, I am surprised you managed to convince him to go, his friends probably gave him some jip. Dont let the holiday spoil it though, nothing unusual about his behaviour, a bit like taking a dog out for a drive and the dog doesn't get a walk. YABU

It's hard but it depends on the child. My dd is the perfect travel companion but she wants to do the same as me mostly, she's also a bit older, it's easier when you can hit the bar together

I remember going to Rome with my mum at 17 and I was awful 🙈

It's tough - i think they go through phases as well on how sociable they are with parents//adults. Sorry OP but try and make the most of it!

My DsS came away with me this year. He was 17 at the time and to be honest he got involved with us quite a lot to what I expected?
Maybe it's because his brother an sister are small and full on but every morning he was up an dressed before me telling us hurry up for breakfast or sometimes he would just meet me down their an take my DS with him 😂 then after it we would go shopping or to the beach. But yea in the day he would have an hour sleeping on the loungers then go up to the room for a "chill" then if we went the club he would ask if we minded if he stayed out an he made some friends - they had their own room so he stayed theirs a few times so he didn't wake the baby's etc. Just finding the common ground and respecting his age and wanting to be mr Independent and mr cool
I think he was just greatful he had a holiday at 17 when most of his mates got made to pay for their own as their working ! 🤷🏼‍♀️
But I remember when he was 14 and we had no small kids. He was exactly the same until he lost his phone and hat on the 4th night then he had no other option but to be our friend! Haha maybe a phone ban for the day an have a day trip!
Enjoy the rest of your holiday. Don't cry as it makes you age quicker !! Just go relax it's what you've worked so hard to pay for !! Xxx

It's difficult for a boy on his own, op. If he had a couple of siblings, or one sibling, they would do things together and at least one of them would pay attention to you but one boy going away with his mum is not something they like to do.

Just make sure you eat together sometimes and enjoy yourself.

I remember taking my 15 year old dd to Mallorca and she reluctantly emerged from the apartment the day before we flew home. She's a different person now but oh teens!