To wonder why boys

[HereBeFuckery]

Are so unbelievably noisy? I'm at a soft play, and it's loud, as you'd expect, it's half term and it's pissing rain, so busy.

There are four or five boys aged I'd guess between 7 and 12, and they are so so so loud, I can hear each of them individually, and distinctly, over the general racket. I have nicknames for them: Rapper Jeans, Nearly-At-Bumfluff-Stage, Stripy Top, Sweaty in that Football Strip, and the possible fifth although he may just be a hanger on, Future Marine (buzz cut, looks mean). Stripy Top isn't inspiring me to a better name.

I have my headphones in and music at max volume, and I can hear every howl.

I'm the first to jump on 'don't pigeonhole kids' behaviour by sex or gender' but this is so noticeable. It's a kind of mid-register howl or rage-scream. Is it hormones? It makes me jump every time it happens. The girls shrieks (which are plentiful and loud), are drowned by these boys.

I've noticed it a lot this half term - at a party, at the park, at a different soft play, but this is the most pronounced it's been. I'm forever telling DD to keep her volume appropriate to the situation, and I've not seen any of the boys making this weird primal noise/shout told to keep it down. Is it just the old 'girls must be quiet while boys take over the world'? Should I encourage DD to howl along like an adolescent gorilla?

DH is noisy in a way I can't fathom - like he has no idea how to moderate his volume, he stamps and makes noise without meaning to, but this is something different.

To be clear, it's not the volume exactly, or I'd be happy to be called a pearl clutchy idiot for being here. It's the noise itself. Like an intimidation tactic or something, like a predator would use to scare prey. It's so weird. And it's giving me a fucking headache.

@bluebluezoo my DD would be the loudest person in any room if I let her. Children are naturally noisy. I get that.

What I'm asking is why that noise in particular? That grunting, almost roar. It's like a kamikaze yell and it made me and other parents do endless meerkat impressions every time it happened. It was startling loud and awful. Shrieks are normal kid noise, this wasnt. To me.

My son is very quiet and he hates noise. I do too.
I think that @betternamepending has it spot on though:
I don't think boys are naturally louder than girls but I do think that are plenty of parents that will tell girls to be nice and quiet and don't tell boys as much because "boys will be boys"

I am raising my son and daughter the same way, to the same expectations, but it is not the norm

My brother and I were both boisterous and noisy and so were my dd and ds.

Also, soft play is hell, hell. Get out quickly OP

I’d much rather listen to the ‘noisy’ boys than the groups of girls who scream at everything!

I encountered plenty of noisy girls as well as boys of every age, I think it's attention seeking, they want to be noticed Also maybe as they are in a group it's a power struggle of sorts, trying to be louder than one another and centre of attention??

Nothing on earth is louder than my DGD’s.

DS1 makes sudden loud noises. DS2 is much quieter.

I work in a school and in my experience, girls make much more noise when in groups. They seem to do some sort of competitive screeching.

As others have said; pre-teens in a soft play??? Really? 🧐

On balance I’d say the girls talk more and a higher pitch and volume.

It's nice they can let off steam...it's soft play, not a fine dining restaurant or a library.

I think some of the parents from earlier have found me... 

I'm home now @Carparkticket thank goodness.

Apparently I should have taken photos of the boys to prove myself to internet strangers who don't believe that I have functional eyesight. Lesson learned. The parents were so uninvolved in supervision as to be unidentifiable, so I shouldn't run into any trouble doing so next time. Does MN support posting audio recordings?

Yes OP. Take photos of other peoples children at soft play. That's what to do.
The boys parents probably were very visible and wondering why you were staring at their children so intently while you silently gave them nicknames 'Future Marine - buzz cut - looks mean', and wondering why your judgy pants were quite so high that you maybe just failed to notice them.
Or maybe they were completely uninvolved because well, they're parents of boys! And we all know that parents of boys allow them to be so noisy so that they drown out all other known noises, particularly noise made by girls, who are quiet as little mice. Maybe you should open your own soft play? Everyone could just whisper and tiptoe. You could have a decibel feature at the front door and ear defenders for hire should any noisy children make it past the bouncers.

you had earphones in at Softplay and were on mumsnet and you said the other parents weren't supervising. Hahaha

Children that age have loud voices. When my dd1 (13) gets together with her friends the din is terrific.

I was a smug mother too when I just had my DD!

I have boys I find girls were more noisy and screechy

@MintChocAddict that was to those who were doing this face at the idea that there were kids older than 8 in soft play.

@MintChocAddict that was to those who were doing this face at the idea that there were kids older than 8 in soft play.

And, as I said if you'd bothered to read instead of leaping in to defend boys my DD is loud. These boys were deafening. There's a difference.

@Cleverplayonwords I was using my eyes. I could see DD 95% of the time. And as I said the earphones did not cover the din. They were to retain some sanity by making the noise bearable. I took them out if DD was speaking (I could see her, would have seen if she'd been speaking or shouting), or out of sight for a second.

@Shagged ah yes, my opinion, views and comfort are null and void, as, unlike you, I do not have a holy boy child. Gotcha. Us parents of girl children must at all times know our place. And not dare complain about the Very Important Boys and their Important Loud Voices.
I shall dig out my wimple and red robe.
FFS.

I am.sorru but I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about op. I have noticed that some groups boys sometimes.seem to play more physically than some groups of girls but I have never noticed that they make any particular 'boy type ' noises or that they are any louder than groups of girls.

I am.completely bemused by this and can honestly say I have never noticed such a phenomena

YANBU

I always notice loud obnoxious boys at the park and soft play. Usually 10-12 years.

I expect they have parents with "boys will be boys", "he's a natural born leader" and rose tinted glasses.

The parents were so uninvolved in supervision as to be unidentifiable, so I shouldn't run into any trouble doing so next time.

Next time? You're going back?

A holy boy child? Jeez OP you clearly have ishooos

@Herebefuckery

Holy Boy Child - you have got to be joking My DS is a fecking nightmare!
Annoying for me, annoying for teachers, annoying for other people no doubt too!

Was just pointing out that it's easy to be smug and assume that parenting is to blame when you are the parent of easy and compliant DDs only

If I had stopped after my DD, or had a second similar DD instead of my DS I would have the same views as you is all I was pointing out