To not want my dd to go to London on the train?

[Haxdret]

Its a 2 hour journey on the train then the tube to where they want to go. Would you let yours do this? She's 13. Travelling with one other then meeting two friends en route.

My biggest issue with this would be the parents being 2hrs by train away if something did go wrong. I grew up in suburban London, and at that age my friends and I would go exploring (that's 20 years ago, end of Its, beginning of the post 9-11 worries). BUT... There was always at least 1 parent at work in central London as a back up. We rarely saw them, but they were relatively close by.

I would travel up to Scotland to visit relatives... But it was one train or plane, not wandering around.

I hope this doesn’t sound judgy but how did your kids get to and from school @NorthernBirdAtHeart if they were only allowed on the tube so late?
Honestly I would let her go but make sure she Downloads Citymapper.
Our 11 takes himself too and from school on a bus, to football practise and marches.
I would warn her that Camden is shit though...

I have more sympathy with her since your update (previously I was thinking, hmm, probaby not). But I'm not surprised she's crying - you have let her down and fucked up a promised treat.

But I have a solution, OP. Buy a Friends and Family railcard for £30, it gives you plus DD and one other friend a 30% discount on railcards. Then go and buy your tickets online now, searching for the cheapest option. It could be a lot more affordable than you think.

Another solution would be: find out if any parent or other trusted adult of the other friends can go with them.

I was running round Camden and Carnaby St on my own at about 13/14 but my family lived in the London suburbs, so a parent was only about 40 minutes away.

Aww I imagine she's fuming not being able to go but stress that Camden is not worth it. Its a dump imo.

I nearly got myself scooped up by nasty people near King's Cross Station when I was a naive rural market town 17 year old. I was confused, asked someone for directions, and found myself being taken down a back alley. My new friend, who was my own age and very obviously nervous, kept reassuring me that it was okay, he was sure King's Cross station was just around the next corner. Eventually my own ingrained sense of trust got broken and I insisted on returning the way we'd come. Where I spotted a sign for King's Cross which I'd missed in the general litter of signage you get in city centres. My new friend seemed rather confused when I pointed to it happily. Then I saw several rather older men watching both of us with grim expressions. I shot off as fast as I could, politely.

The journey yes, Camden Market no. I'd let her go on the train if she was going to a structured and safe event e.g. theatre. I would not be keen on Camden Market for her first solo trip to London - too many predatory twats hanging around.

She surely doesn't intend to go just to Camden Market, it's a long way to travel for that alone. I'm bemused at the comments about Camden Market, I always loved it, there was a great atmosphere. Portobello Market is good too. There's so much to see in London.

I get that she is very young, I honestly don't know if I would agree in your shoes. As the plan was for her to go with friends, presumably the friends' parents were agreeable.

I used to go to central London on my own from age fourteen but I just went, didn't ask permission :-). At least your daughter has asked you, she could have just gone out for the day and you'd have been none the wiser.

I'm not much help because I really don't know. It's up to you and your husband, find out what the other parents think about it.

I agree with the suggestion to go along too and go off on your own for a bit. My dd is a mature, sensible 13 and no way would I let her go alone.

Nope, not at 13, unless you or another parent goes with them.

I'm an hour and a half from London and often went to London from 12/13, actually mostly to Camden (coz I was a little baby goth). I'm only 30 so it's not that long ago. I'm not sure I would let my DC do it, there were a few dodgy men invite me for a drink or chat to me, I was always alright on the tube but I'd be terrified of my DC getting lost or struggling through crowds. Its different for children that have grown up in a city in that they are used to the busy stations and tube and stuff, same as I wouldn't let a child who had grown up in London try to negotiate rural bus routes and walking down little country lanes at that age.

Could your 17 year old go with her? She's old enough to be responsible but young enough to still be cool.

Fair enough some of you being hesitant about 13 year olds , but you wouldn't let your 15/16 year olds? That's mental.
At 17 they can drive a car, some of them may even be 17 or only just 18 when they move away to uni.
People move out at 16 and 17.

@CravingCheese

But was there other people waiting for you at the other end?

Did you then have to get another train/bus and then find your way round an unfamiliar and really busy town?

Which main line station would she be going to ? Some, eg Kings X, Euston, Paddington ,Charing X are a lot easier to get to Camden from.

My DCs (and me too, at that age), went up to central London in the day at 13, but we live in the suburbs so they have been going on the tube with us since they were born practically! I can understand if you don’t live in London it’s daunting, but as long as you’re sensible it is very safe.
When ds first went in with a friend he was around that age. I asked him to call me when he got there and when he got back to our end as we didn’t have time to discuss (he and friend decided to go in on a wHim).
What worries you about it?

People move out at 16 and 17.

And many don't, and develop independence more slowly than others for whatever reason and it's fine.

It depends what time of day. If she's going to be there in the daytime, in broad daylight, fine. I wouldn't allow it if she'd be there after dark.

Oh god no - Camden market! Maybe I’m getting old but it’s the same tat you see on every street market across Europe!but for a 13 year old it will be awesome and new and shiny

(Bold fail)

I used to do this. I’d get the train up to London from Brighton (where I grew up) with a friend. We’d get the Tube around London. I think I bought my brown suede jacket from Camden (this was considered stylish at my school at the time) and make up from MAC (when the only place you could buy it was Harvey Nichols) then.

It’s up to you what you do. However all the people who’ve said that there’s no way that they would let a 13 year old travel in London by themselves should know that there are thousands doing just that. Children can travel without an adult on buses and tubes from age 11.

But was there other people waiting for you at the other end?

Initially, yes.

I did later take the bus by myself. But still with a clear destination in mind. And only after being escorted by an adult from the train station to the final destination at least once (if not twice). But as I said, i absolutely understand why the OP doesn't want her dd to go.

Nope. I live in London and my 13 year old wouldn't be allowed to go to Camden Market on her own. She wouldn't even think to ask to tbh. Even my 16 year old doesn't like being out and about too much these days. As a previous poster said, things don't feel quite right at the minute

I live and work in London as do my friends and colleagues. We don't feel as you say you do.

agree with going along to do something (nearby!) arrange to meet girls to take them out for meal/afternoon coffee & cake (whatever!) perhaps? somewhere a little more grown up? You of course have an appointment nearby (coincidentally!) I think with the issues of the Extinction Rebellion etc (check the dc are interested in attending anything to do with that)

doh! "are not", not - "are"

We started our twins travelling on PT quite early, so by 13 they were okay with this. I began by talking them through how to make the journey, then on to leading me through the journey, up to planning the journey where I just followed, so that by 13 they would have been able to do this, individually and together.

If you think your DD is sensible enough to plan, know how to read a timetable, confident about who to approach for help, and is going to be able to text you/receive texts throughout the journey as appropriate, I'd say do it.