How do slim people think?

[Episcomama]

...because I really do think there is a difference between how slim and overweight people think. I am very overweight - BMI of 33. So obese rather than overweight, technically.

I've been off and on diets all my adult life, and the only thing I've really had success with is intermittent fasting and keto. When I stick to it, it works. The problem isn't my body, it's my mind. It's as though there's a switch that gets flicked from time to time. A voice in my head telling me to eat in case of famine. Food occupies much of my waking hours - once I've had a meal I'm thinking ahead to the next one.

A dear friend is very slim and once mentioned that she just doesn't really find satisfaction in food in the way I do (comfort, commiseration, celebration, whatever.) When I spent the weekend with her recently, it really became apparent how differently we see food. She was mildly horrified at both the quantity and frequency of my meals whereas I couldn't understand how she was satisfied with what she ate.

Eating disorders aside, do you think there's a difference between a "thin mind" and a "fat mind", to express it crudely. And if you have a thin mind and used to have a fat mind, can you share with me how you flicked that switch?

I’m overweight but my DP is very slim - he eats more than I do but I think one of the reasons I gain weight is because I’m very sedentary and will also snack mindlessly when bored or watching the telly. DP often keeps himself very busy on his days off and doesn’t have time to snack or sit around

I lost 5 stone 18 months ago and I’m now slim and a size 8. I’ve had to totally retrain my brain not to snack, not to be tempted by sugary things or crisps, not to eat big portions etc

I lost 5 stone too. I stayed round about that weight for probably 8 years. When I lost all the weight I swore I would never go back to how I was.
Well.... I've put three quarters of it back on. It was so slow and creeping, half a pound at a time. If it's any consolation (to me) my face is better, it was not good when I lost all the weight, I looked haggard. I try continually to keep on top of my weight.

I agree with a PP who said that they’re not emotional eaters, me neither and when I’m upset then I can go for days without eating, I’ll make sure I have water but I can go without food.

I also have days where I cannot stop eating and then I’ll balance it out by not eating for a day or 2, or maybe on three days I’ll just have 2 bits if brown toast.

I'm not slim but not fat either and have lost weight from when I was at my biggest. My thing is that I won't allow myself to go up a weight size. So if clothes start feeling tight I'll take action. I exercise a certain amount because when you get older you start getting aches and pains if you don't. Plus I'd rather exercise a bit more than eat a bit less.

I find I can cut down quite easily by eating soups or salads for a few weeks. After a while it feels uncomfortable to eat bigger meals, so it's a question of getting through that pain barrier. It's like a natural gastric band, your stomach just can't take such a big amount. I find meals out are often bigger than you really need. So avocado eggs really doesn't need two eggs, so I ask for just one, etc.

I also have days where I cannot stop eating and then I’ll balance it out by not eating for a day or 2, or maybe on three days I’ll just have 2 bits if brown toast.

That sounds very much like emotional eating (and a terrible relationship with food).

I can’t imagine how people have to train their brain to not think of food if they had previously been bigger, that must be difficult.

After reading these comments then I believe that there is a difference between slim brains and fat brains, they say drug addicts’ brains are wired differently to non drug addicted brains so I’m sure it’s the same for drugs, although what about women that were always slim and then they have one child and out on lots of weight and never lose it again, what brains would they have?

I have always been slim and a size 8. I eat what I want within reason but I know I don’t eat the same volume or portion sizes as other people.

same for food not drugs!

I’m slim and always have been. I love food and eat A LOT but I do also love exercise. Walk nearly everywhere run a minimum of 5k a day, and generally can’t sit still.
Equally I don’t eat when I’m not hungry or just because it’s mealtimes

On Friday I ate so much I’d honestly not be able to tell you because I’d lost track! But I was genuinely hungry, yesterday I wasn’t hungry and over the course of a whole day had 3 bits of toast. (Cue some mumsnet competitive undereater saying that would feed them for 4 days)

I see food as fuel. What I put in is the quality of my output and sporting performance. It's not always been like that though. I don't enjoy food as much as I used too. This weekend I've been away and it's been good on the run so lots of what I'd call crap food and I just feel terrible for it.

Yessss I definitely have an inner voice that is constantly telling me to eat! And it’s a running joke that I’m always eating! I used to be classed as obese (by BMI standards) and I’m now in the ‘healthy’ range. I am not pushing an agenda, as everyone is completely different - but I lost 4 stone by eating vegan and I’ve kept it off the last couple of years by staying vegan. I basically get to have my inner-self saying EAT EAT EAT and that’s exactly what I do, and the weight just stays off! Can’t recommend it enough to anyone who is at their wits end with diets etc. But yes, I know it’s not for everyone ☺️ So yes, inner ‘fat’ voice is real, and people who aren’t overweight (like me) can definitely still have it even after the weight loss!

Do you think Purple? I like food though and I get excited to try new foods, and I can’t help it if I’m not hungry sometimes, I always thought emotional eating meant that you ate more when you were stressed/upset etc, not less but then I suppose it works both ways.

Childhood habits and emotional eating piled the weight on on for me. Addressing this, eating more low carb and recognising signals of fullness are all helping dial it back. I like food very much but tend to snack if bored, tired or upset.

I think it’s genetic, I see a difference in my children. One of mine just doesn’t seem to have an off switch. If she finishes a bowl of cerial she wants a second helping. If snacks are out at a party she just keeps going for them. She is constantly asking for snacks and saying she is hungry. She get really hangry. My other kids just aren’t as interested and a extremely lean. She is definitely the chunkiest of my kids. I know I have to be careful with her as she always gains a bit of weight when I get less strict, on holidays for example, but I also don’t want her to obsess about diets from a young age.

I have thought this for a while. I have a daughter who is very slim - tiny who is not interested in food. She will literally forget to eat and stops when she is full - in a much smaller portion than the rest of us. She doesn’t eat healthily though and I do worry about her.
People who I know are overweight or struggle with weight constantly think about food - especially when on a diet and always seem to be eating. Some people massively overeat too. I have been out for a meal and been completely stuffed while people manage to put away 3 courses and sides. This is not a criticism just am observation.
I’m somewhere in the middle . Don’t eat big portions or overeat but love the wrong foods any times and a bit too find of wine- hence the middle age spread creeping up.

Ed Gamble, the comedian, lost 6 stone and says it’s like being an undercover fat person among thin people.
Here’s his bit on what thin people are like:

I lost over 100lbs a few years ago and kept it off (until I got pg for the second time (Ds is 4 months now), now I’m about a stone over my pre preg weight but still a lot slimmer than initial large weight). Tbh I’m hungry a lot and every day I have to have willpower of steel to make healthy choices. I do things like have a drink and see if I’m still hungry in half an hour before automatically reaching for snacks if I feel peckish.

I think a key imo is when I was a size 20 I would be constantly hungry and need to keep eating because my stomach was used to being full all the time so would give hunger whenever it wasn’t full whereas now I’m still constantly hungry but my tummy isn’t comstantly full it’s more erring towards empty and that’s what it’s used to.

But is it healthy to just have a couple of pieces of toast over 2 days? Surely not, even if it keeps you thin.

My problem is... I love love love food. It's not fuel to me, it's food of the gods. It is really hard to not think about food, I love planning a meal, thinking about what my next meal will be. I'm proud of myself for not snacking or eating crap
I never keep certain things in the house like biscuits, cakes, crisps, anything snacky because that is how I exercise my self control, just don't buy it.
but my love for food is overwhelming.
There's no hope for me is there....

I’m in my 60s and I’m fat. I’ve been fat for most of my life. I’m pretty much always hungry.

As a child all punishments and rewards were food related. Naughty = exiled to room with no food, no books, no toys, nothing...for hours and sometimes a whole day. Good = extra dessert, cake, biscuits etc. It was often pretty hard to fathom what was naughty and what was good though as my mother’s MH at the time was a bit unpredictable. This was ‘normal life’ for me until I left home at 17. I’ve tried counselling, hypnotherapy and many diet groups, I absolutely know and understand why food is such a big deal for me but I still can’t change.

I have managed to lose weight a few times but I’ve never maintained it. I have a real love/hate relationship with food. I gave up smoking years ago and it was easy...I just stopped; but with food you still have to eat to stay alive and that just grinds down your willpower after a while, especially when the house is full of DPs cooking smells!

Read brain over binge recovery guide. It explains how your primal brain and your upper brain function with regards to food. It has really changed the way I view food. X

Properly slim people (ie the ones who don’t need to worry about their weight as it comes naturally) don’t think about food. They will eat whatever they want. My sister has a high metabolism, eats 2k calories per day, and is a size 0-2. The people who become slim tend to be like OP’s friend - obsessing over portions etc.

I'm 62 and have been skinny and obese at different times if my life, and have now settled on skinny after understanding that I have a dysfunctional relationship with food and cannot just let go of consciously controling my intake. I have weighing scales and get on them regularly. I am 21.9 BMI and size 12, for what that's worth. I eat everything, but do gravitate to lots of fruit and veg, small portions, treats only at the weekend. I don't go hungry though, but my snacks are things like rice cakes, carrots, celery, apples, other fruits, small handful walnuts, thin slivers cheddar. I eat all sorts of healthy stuff, but the calorific stuff is in very small amounts. I weigh portions, and I count calories. I love my healthy, light, slim body and all the lovely clothes I can wear much more than I love food. I hated the heaviness of obesity.

@ Inappropriatefemale you’ve described binging for days and starving yourself for days. Does that really sound like a healthy relationship with food? You’re honestly saying your emotions really aren’t involved?

I love food and I will try new things even if I’m not hungry. That happens pretty rarely though and I don’t feel guilty or need to starve myself after.

The other thing that helps ENORMOUSLY is having a partner who is on the same page, slim healthy and also consciously controlling their intake to maintain their health.

Rousette of course it’s probably not healthy and I suppose I do have a slight issue with being scared to gain weight and be ‘chubby’ but even when I’m a full size 10 (and a size 10 is a slim size really) then I get lots of ‘fat arse’ comments and it stings, I know I shouldn’t worry what others say but I do, it also goes to my face when I put weight on.

I actually want to get healthy and exercise too so that I can eat what I want, I love all sorts of food, I love junk food and I love vegetables, I have not a clue about ‘the right foods’ really and I always think that eating healthy must be expensive, am I wrong?