How do slim people think?

[Episcomama]

...because I really do think there is a difference between how slim and overweight people think. I am very overweight - BMI of 33. So obese rather than overweight, technically.

I've been off and on diets all my adult life, and the only thing I've really had success with is intermittent fasting and keto. When I stick to it, it works. The problem isn't my body, it's my mind. It's as though there's a switch that gets flicked from time to time. A voice in my head telling me to eat in case of famine. Food occupies much of my waking hours - once I've had a meal I'm thinking ahead to the next one.

A dear friend is very slim and once mentioned that she just doesn't really find satisfaction in food in the way I do (comfort, commiseration, celebration, whatever.) When I spent the weekend with her recently, it really became apparent how differently we see food. She was mildly horrified at both the quantity and frequency of my meals whereas I couldn't understand how she was satisfied with what she ate.

Eating disorders aside, do you think there's a difference between a "thin mind" and a "fat mind", to express it crudely. And if you have a thin mind and used to have a fat mind, can you share with me how you flicked that switch?

How old are you @superfandango? You must be massively fit!

@Octopus37
Yes. My takeaway order was missed off the family takeaway tonight... I was heartbroken having skipped lunch.... It was fine. I am not hungry. Just v sad at not eating as much as I planned. Hard to describe. But yes. Understand you completely.

Has anybody tried Paul McKenna and did it work?

@superfandango I'm the same; I run 40km a week and do hiit/bootcamp twice bit I will still gain weight each week unless I really stick to a low carb diet and count calories. Fitbit estimates my calorie burn as 2600 a day and there's no way I eat that much. Like you I need to eat 1000 cals or less to lose anything. I'm not super small either, I'm 5'7.

@milliefiori Your story really moved me. I'm really sorry that things got so bad.

Maybe you're not looking for advice, in which case ignore, but can I suggest just taking a little bit of time each day for self care. I don't mean a bubble bath or whatever, I mean just doing one positive thing for your health. It could be going for a walk to up your step count, or eating a delicious salad, or going for a swim, or swapping out cola for a glass of water, but just some small baby step that says "I'm worth investing in and that starts with my health".

I know it's really hard but you're worth the effort.

The older I get (& more people I meet) I’ve realised that genes have the most impact.

I know some people who eat really healthily and exercise but their BMI would be considered high. Others who eat crap and do nothing are skinny.

One friend had a thyroid problem which made losing weight even harder. She did it but my goodness it was life consuming with the strict calorie counting and gym 4 times a week.

I’m just about in healthy BMI range but still the biggest I’ve ever been, but I’m also the most content. I guess I’m older now, have created two people and I appreciate food too much.

In terms of diets, I don’t really do them but I am conscious of portion sizes, strict to wholegrain rice/pasta/bread and eat a min of 5 fruit & veg a day. That means I can eat chocolate daily and drink say half of the week. If you make changes, make small ones at a time so they are sustainable.

Has anybody tried Paul McKenna and did it work?

It worked for DH a few years ago. The trouble was that it only kept working if he listened to the 25 minute recording every day and, long term, he found it difficult to find the time to fit it in.

@Ziraphale Thank you.

Yes. My takeaway order was missed off the family takeaway tonight

That's one of the benefits of living rurally... no takeaways.

I saw an advert for Deliveroo yesterday so I checked them out. Needn't have bothered. There is nothing available in our area.

I'm much less concerned about weight than I am about being healthy

It's impossible to be truly healthy and overweight.

@ConFusion360
We are rural! But my dad wanted to treat us.... 25 min drive to collect! We only get takeaways once or twice a year because we just enjoy cooking which is part of the problem. Anyway that was part of the reason I was so disappointed but I wont lie, I had a shit day yesterday. Heavy period, pissing rain, got soaked getting home from work it was all about comfort. I know I'm an emotional eater.

@PearlsBeforeWine I’m 29 (closer to 30 now), and I spent the larger part of my 20s being rather unfit/overweight as a result of 3 pregnancies and being a SAHM for 6 years. I made it my mission this year to sort out my health/fitness before my birthday so I could start my 30s off on the right note with exercise built into my routine so I knew that even if I was busy and had no childcare I could fit something in.

@thenewaveragebear1983 I’m 5’9” and broad shouldered, DH is the same height as me, has a very active job and a naturally fast metabolism - it really irks me when he gets funny about me turning down junk food when he’s having something. It’s like he genuinely just can’t comprehend that I can’t eat like he does (if I don’t want to gain weight...), and that I actually prefer both the taste and the feeling of eating something with nutritional value. It’s like he thinks it’s a value judgement against him, when it’s not.

@superfandango the problem I have is that I do like junk food, and have a very sweet tooth, but despite running so much I just can't eat it if I want to lose weight. I do eat it though, then gain 3lbs over the weekend, then diet all week, then gain 3lbs again. It's horrible, I'm in a constant yo-yo

My Dh has gained 1lb since leaving uni 20 years ago. I weigh the same (slightly less) as when I left uni 10 years ago but in that time I've gained and lost 4 stone twice through two terrible pregnancies and more probably. He is naturally slim; I am slim but I have a dieters mentality and every day it's a chore. The only time I've felt free was when I went entirely sugar free and very low carb - it was like a magic wand had been waved over me.

Hmmm, I adore eating and my meals are the highlight of my day usually. But I’ve always been slim, even after 4 kids. My DHs family all struggle with weight and I can see that how and what they eat is different to my family. We grew a lot of stuff. My mum was and is an excellent cook. More experimental than any mums I knew with Thai and African dishes that were unheard of at the time. We had no processed food and sweets/crisps were a treat. I never remember seeing my parents eating a stupid portion of take away or anything. We didn’t really have the money for takeaway but if we did have it they ate a sensible amount on their plates and were upset at the volume that came and the waste. Totally different attitude to food. They respected it. That’s what people are like in Japan.

I think people underestimate just how LONG exercising off calories can take. I do a two hour run every day, five days a week (I can fit it in around my job, luckily), which burns about 600 calories. But 600 calories isn't a lot, really, and that's TWO HOURS out of my day.

I was ill recently and couldn't run. I was astonished at how much I could get done in a week when I wasn't spending ten hours of it running.

Zaphodsotherhead Are you sure you're burning 300 calories per hour running? 1 mile = approximately 100 calories burnt.

I'd also say that's very low for two hours running. You should be doing approx Eight miles an hour on average ( every one is different) , which would be 1600 hundred calories over two hours.

600 calories would indicate you're only running three miles an hour, which would be unusual if you run that daily. You can usually walk three miles in an hour.

I agree with @fascicle about calories burned running. My Apple Watch/Runkeeper estimated my calorie burn for my 5k yesterday to be 324 calories for a 30:25 duration. I think it’s not too far off the actual amount because of how it measures it.

Not read everything. I am naturally slim and think I have a fast metabolism. However, looking at things objectively, I don’t stop moving, I never sit and watch TV or do what I would call sedentary activities, I exercise, I eat very healthily with treats thrown in and, the point which is key perhaps, if I want to feel healthier/lower sugar/reduce cellulite (Yes, I am bordering low BMI and still have it), I simply up the exercise and lower the treats. I just don’t have them in the house, so can’t eat them. Loads of fruit and veg. Only fruit snacks. It’s really very simple.

What I don’t factor in is the inability to ration food. From what people say it sounds more like a mental health issue than a physical one - we know that to reduce fat the simple fact is that you need to reduce food intake and increase exercise. It really is that simple. So it must be a mental health issue stopping people doing that, like an addiction. That’s what needs treating, not the fat.

It's approximate because I don't have a calorie counter. I stop a lot on my runs because of the dog (hedge sniffing, weeing, chasing pheasants, looking deeply into ditches in search of rats, etc). So although i run fast in between bits, it's very intermittant. So I guess at around 100 calories per mile. Might be more, might be less, but on average that seems to be about right.

I'd also question the 300 calories per hour burned running.

The 1 mile = 100 calories is an approximation but one that is closest for lighter people. Heavier people would burn more and 3 miles per hour would be a slowish walking pace.

I reckon you are burning more than you think Zaphod.

I agree with the above.

I am a runner and certainly don’t run 2 hours 5 days a week - more like an hour 5 days a week at just above 7 miles/hr and my Apple Watch (set to calibrate based on my age, weight, heart rate) says I burn about 500 calories during that time. This is for a short, middle aged, slim woman. A taller heavier younger woman would burn more. Are you walking slowly during those 2 hours?

Ooh, I'm now hugely encouraged by everyone's comments! Maybe I am using more than 100 cals per mile!

I don't have an Apple Watch, I track my miles with Strava and run around 30 miles a week, I sort of loosely calculate my cals/mile as 100 just to make it easier. I do run, and quite fast, although nothing record breaking, it's dog trot speed, but we stop a lot especially at the beginning, and sometimes have to walk over fields if it's very wet or churned up. So it's my guideline. But you could be right, I may be burning more (the dog is certainly very trim and fit).

Bluntness 8 miles an hour for 2 hours is very fast. I did a half marathon in just under 2 hours (so that's approx 6.5 mph) and I was fairly high up the leaderboard (ie. top 25% of 2000 runners). Not blowing my own trumpet, but the majority of runners aren't going that fast as a rule (even I don't, most of the times I run). 8mph is fast for a non professional runner.

By way of contrast i did 15 k /9.3 miles in just shy of 90 mins on weds and burned 975 cals according to fitbit which I would say is a more average pace and a rough estimate of 100 cals per mile. However, the fitter you are, the less calories you burn. Running isn't great at calorie burn. It's quite possible that if the poster who is running 2 hours x 5 a week is super fit and is barely breaking a sweat to do that as it's so normal to them. They don't say how far they are going in that two hours though, exertion obviously affects calories burned.

Zaphod if you run 30 miles a week over 10 hours, then you are running at 3mph (approx obviously)

It's an AVERAGE of 3 mph. We run for maybe half a mile, then have to stop and potter for a couple of minutes while dog sniffs etc, then run a bit further, another stop...I run quite fast, but there are stops and waits for the dog included in the time.

I run 5k in 31 minutes and did a 10k in just over an hour (1 hr 3 mins) to give you a clue to my actual running speed.

It's having the dog along that slows me down, but I don't have time to run alone AND take the dog out.

Now, back to our scheduled programme...