How do slim people think?

[Episcomama]

...because I really do think there is a difference between how slim and overweight people think. I am very overweight - BMI of 33. So obese rather than overweight, technically.

I've been off and on diets all my adult life, and the only thing I've really had success with is intermittent fasting and keto. When I stick to it, it works. The problem isn't my body, it's my mind. It's as though there's a switch that gets flicked from time to time. A voice in my head telling me to eat in case of famine. Food occupies much of my waking hours - once I've had a meal I'm thinking ahead to the next one.

A dear friend is very slim and once mentioned that she just doesn't really find satisfaction in food in the way I do (comfort, commiseration, celebration, whatever.) When I spent the weekend with her recently, it really became apparent how differently we see food. She was mildly horrified at both the quantity and frequency of my meals whereas I couldn't understand how she was satisfied with what she ate.

Eating disorders aside, do you think there's a difference between a "thin mind" and a "fat mind", to express it crudely. And if you have a thin mind and used to have a fat mind, can you share with me how you flicked that switch?

I'm much less concerned about weight than I am about being healthy. I know some people who probably weigh two stone more than me but are super fit - almost athletes.

I usually judge it by how I feel when I run into work. It's about a 10k and I do it in an hour. If I feel fine doing that then I know my body will be looking OK at that time. For me, fitness and being a healthy weight/BMI go hand in hand.

I do think exercise is underrated in weight loss.

I wonder if mindsets towards exercise vary as much as those towards food?

I don't exercise to keep fit. I don't exercise to stay slim. I exercise because if I don't move around and especially if I don't spend time outdoors I get stressed and angsty and feel crap.

To me a ten mile hike is a pleasure, a time to get away from it all, to relax and de-stress. That it is 'good' for me in terms of fitness is a happy bi-product. Similarly I like to swim because of its meditative quality. My mind things nothing but counting lengths, 1,1,1,2,2,2, all worries are forgotten when I get 'in the zone'. Again, the physical fitness side is a happy coincidence.

Arnold I am exactly like you.

I run, swim and bike because I love it.
It took me a while to be a confident enough swimmer to get in the zone, but I have it now. The breathing really helps me unwind.
I don't get in the zone so much with cycling - I think because you have to be so alert for traffic all the time.

That it keeps me strong, fit and healthy is a welcome side-effect!

I believe very strongly that you have to find the sport you love.

Motion is lotion
🏃‍♀️⛷️🏊‍♂️🏋️⛹️‍♀️

@ArnoldWhatshisknickers

I do agree with that. I grew up in a National Park. There was just so much space! Now live in a dreary suburb of the Midlands that has more chicken shops than green spaces.

Hope on the horizon though - my husband loved our honeymoon in NZ, and afterwards said that he finally realised how cramped and grimy urban environments feel to me!

Exercise can enable you to loose many more inches than you would do without it, way more than the 20 percent stat shows.

I agree with this. A few years ago I had personal trainer and I was my fittest and slimmest ever. I actually lost almost no weight at all but my body looked so much stronger and healthier. I miss those days. I still exercise a fair amount but not to the intensity and challenge as before, especially with weights. Without a spotter I worry about hurting myself too much so don’t push as hard.

I wonder if mindsets towards exercise vary as much as those towards food?

I think they do. Once you get into it and see the benefits, it's easier to keep going.

If I'm brutally honest, I do the gym six days a week, and I'd say half the time I need to drag my arse in there. Once I'm in I'm fine, and feel great when I'm done, but I'd be lying if I said I was raring to go every time.

I think it's all about perseverance. In real life I never talk about going to thr gym. If someone asks I will say, but I won't if they don't ask.

Whereas I have a friend who never goes but signs up for classes. For at least a month before hand it's all she can talk about, how she's going to do this class and get fit. She tells everyone. All the time, She then goes a couple of times and drops out. And none of us ever mention it. Her latest one, last week she started, went to the first one and has now quit it. After one session. She starts a new class at least three times a year.

It's repetitive and a bit bonkers in my view,

I have often pondered this question. I've always been a healthy weight, ditto my immediate family. Maybe it's partly genes in that we don't gain weight too easily and not on the tummy, but how to know if it's nature/nurture? We all have good eating habits (everything in moderation but veg at all meals), but are also all active and busy. My BMI is about 22.

I seem to naturally gravitate towards healthy home-cooked food, probably because this is how I was raised. My mother didn't diet, food was cooked from scratch with lots of veg but also there was plenty of home-baking with cakes and puddings most days. I think at the end of the day food was enjoyed but not obsessed over, it was neither a reward nor deprivation a (self)-punishment. Not sure I'm making myself clear!

I do crave carbs before my period but a slice of bread and jam usually hits the spot. While I love biscuits and cakes, I am not able to eat, say, a packet of biscuits in one sitting. I would feel sick.

I know my mother would occasionally "be careful" if her favourite trousers got a bit tight. I suppose she would cut back on cake/biscuits a bit until her weight went back to what she was comfortable with. But it was a gentle correction rather than a dramatic process. I guess I have unconsciously adopted those habits as my weight only really varies by 1-3kg in either direction.

On the few occasions in my life I've decided I wanted to be thinner (pure vanity) I have found that my thoughts quickly became dominated by FOOD and HUNGER. And I would quickly put on weight!

With age I am more active than before because I like feeling strong and I know that it's good for my heart, bones, skin, mental health and energy levels. I don't go to the gym but I walk/cycle for transport and swim because I enjoy it.

I'm much less concerned about weight than I am about being healthy

Which is an important point often overlooked. I could not care less about my overall weight but I do track my body fat %.

Exercise can enable you to lose many more inches than you would do without it, way more than the 20 percent stat shows

As far as I am concerned, diet trumps exercise by a country mile and, for pure weight loss, I would agree with the 80/20 split... or a 100% diet if you have to choose

I spend a lot of time in the gym and exercising out of it. If I don't watch what I eat, my weight/wobbly bits increase and exercise alone will just not shift it. The only way is to pretty drastic action on my diet.

On the subject of body fat I think it's important to remember that the distribution of fat is important, intra abdominal fat/fat around the midsection has negative implications for health outcomes.
Subcutaneous fat stored on the hips and thighs less so.
The more muscle you have the better, get lifting everyone 🏋️

to take pretty drastic action.

If I don't watch what I eat, my weight/wobbly bits increase and exercise alone will just not shift it.

Totally agree, as the saying goes, you can't out run a bad diet. But there is no doubt that a good diet, complimented with a sustained exercise regime makes a bigger difference to how your body looks than the twenty percent weight lost stat provided by exercise would indicate.

That clearly doesn't mean it's all diet, or all exercise, and maybe twenty percent of weight loss is due to exercise, but the point I'm making is that if you have a regular sustained and good exercise regime coupled with a good diet, then it makes a big difference to how your body looks.

Whilst you cannot OutRun your fork it is also true that you cannot diet away the damage done by sedentary lifestyle

OP I was slim from my teens into my mid forties, including soon after having twins. My mindset then was eat whatever you want, but only when hungry. I often forgot to eat and I often chose healthy options automatically without thinking if in restaurants. I'd also often look at people over eating or choosing rich foods and wonder how they could knowingly put food into themselves that would make them sluggish and obese.
I used to walk everywhere and have a restless energy. If the phone rang or the doorbell went i;d be first up to answer it. I'd run upstairs to talk to people not shout. Always used stairs not lifts. Would walk from the overground 20 mins away, not take the bus. Etc

Then I got severely depressed and was on antideoressants for a decade. My metabolism slowed right down. I wanted to sleep all day every day. I craved carbs and sugar with what feels like an addiction. I just ate carbs and slept and ate carbs and slept for about five years. Unsurprisingly I am now very overweight. I find it hard to motivate myself to eat healthily. I've never stuck to a diet for more than four days (usually half a day). I do a bit of exercise but day to day I work from home, usually in bed and easily do only 2-4k steps a day instead of the recommended 10k.
I have noticed that I really really enjoy the immediate kick of food these days. I love the feel of the sugar or carb rush. It's a dopamine hit that I never used to seek and now I want it constantly. Not good. But I'm not sure how to overcome it. My willpower is all used up in staying sane these days. I don't have the willpower for dieting too. So I'm fat and chilled and choose the wrong foods every day.

if you have a regular sustained and good exercise regime coupled with a good diet, then it makes a big difference to how your body looks.

Very much this.

Plus, moving away from how you look, you have more energy, sleep better, feel better, your resting metabolism is higher etc.

if you have a regular sustained and good exercise regime coupled with a good diet, then it makes a big difference to how your body looks.

So true. There is nothing better than having a toned body, plus with more muscle you burn more calories. I don't know how anyone can sit down and eat a big meal without doing some exercise beforehand. To have a big Sunday lunch and not run/cycle/swim for at least an hour or two before is unthinkable for me. As is to go a day without doing some sport. I will skip a meal to make up for over eating on another. It isn't necessary to eat 3 meals a day.

My weight fluctuates massively depending on mood. I really get the flipped switch thing. I think basically, consistently slim people have a healthy relationship with food ie seem to be able to eat when hungry, eat exactly what they want, then stop when full. Which sounds really simple but is alien to me. I eat for comfort, as rebellion, as a form of self harm...

I have a terrier. Now, nobody who gets a terrier can hate exercise, this little bugger is MEGA, as in needing five/six miles a day at least to be half way reasonable. And it's much quicker to run six miles than to walk it, so that's what I started doing.

I've lost over three stone in the last year, since we started running. Mind you, I've pegged the calorie intake back too, as I was running two miles a day and still gaining weight, but increasing the miles and decreasing the calories worked for me.

I should add that I'm a lazy bugger who would rather stay in bed and eat cake, but knowing the dog HAS to go out means that I get up and out and knowing that running the distance means that I can exercise the dog and still have time for a sit down before work is a great help motivator.

Now 59 and weigh less and am fitter than I was 30 years ago when first child was born.

For me diet trumps exercise for keeping weight down. I mean, I do exercise (quite a lot - 3x 5k runs this week since Sunday with yoga, body pump and HIIT on the days I didn't run, to give quite a representative example of a week for me), but if I eat crap, I gain weight. Yes, a lot of it will be bloat/water weight from the increased salt etc, but if I actively want to lose weight I need to cut down my calories to around 1000 a day to lose 2lbs a week on that exercise regime. I think I naturally have a slow metabolism and I'm very carb-sensitive. If I eat around 1500 a day I might lose about 1lb a week and I'll maintain if I eat closer to the 2000 mark, even with the high activity levels.

I don't know if it's a state of mind as such, but I think there seems to be some sort of switch in the brain which makes it easier to stop eating for slim people.

I love food and I love cooking, but I am just not tempted the same way by the 'bad' stuff as others seem to be. I have often seen people talk about eating a whole tub of ice cream - I love ice cream but I simply couldn't eat a whole tub in one sitting.

There is a Paul McKenna book that might be worth a try, he claims he can make you think like a thin person. I read it years ago and lots made sense.

I have had periods of eating too much and being over weight and also decades of being slim. I know my attitude is different in my slim periods. At 48 i have just lost 1.5 stone via WW, I am in the dieting zone after not being for years. It has changed my eating habits and I no longer crave sweet stuff although I do still enjoy food.

I like sweet stuff and can easily finish a big bar of chocolate but I never eat dessert (except maybe a piece of fruit)and run 110kms a week so it isn't usually a problem. I would never be able to eat a tub of ice cream in one go. Try and find a hobby other than food and eating, and think of food more as a fuel more than a pleasure that might help. Easy for me as I live in rural France and other than home-cooked food there aren't any takeaways to be tempted by and my cooking is better than the majority of local restaurants.

Has anyone else read this thread and felt ashamed of themselves for having the mindset of a fat person and knowing that they medicate with food,? I am nearly 45, have been on and off anti-depressants for the last few years. Unfortunately my metabolism has changed a lot during the past 5 years, I am a stone and a half heavier than then. Have lost around 10 pounds twice and put it back on. Weaning myself off AD's at the moment cause I've found out there is a link to high cholesterol and some types (including Sertraline), found out last week that I have got slightly high cholesterol (5.2), it was ok in the Summer when I went for an NHS health check, started meds in April. Really trying to sort out my food mentality, have tried Paul McKenna with some success before but have to watch saturated fat now so cannot eat what I want. I have become very aware of eating for comfort, being desperate for chocolate, eating some dark chocolate and it not being the same so trying to find ways to deal with this. I cannot imagine hating rich desserts or not loving take aways. At the moment, I am trying to eat more fruit and veg, oats and cut out pastry, full fat cheese etc. None of it is easy, guess its work in progress. I think exercise does help though, usually do my 10,000 steps a day. Its tying to find the energy to tackle everything in life that needs working on