How do slim people think?

[Episcomama]

...because I really do think there is a difference between how slim and overweight people think. I am very overweight - BMI of 33. So obese rather than overweight, technically.

I've been off and on diets all my adult life, and the only thing I've really had success with is intermittent fasting and keto. When I stick to it, it works. The problem isn't my body, it's my mind. It's as though there's a switch that gets flicked from time to time. A voice in my head telling me to eat in case of famine. Food occupies much of my waking hours - once I've had a meal I'm thinking ahead to the next one.

A dear friend is very slim and once mentioned that she just doesn't really find satisfaction in food in the way I do (comfort, commiseration, celebration, whatever.) When I spent the weekend with her recently, it really became apparent how differently we see food. She was mildly horrified at both the quantity and frequency of my meals whereas I couldn't understand how she was satisfied with what she ate.

Eating disorders aside, do you think there's a difference between a "thin mind" and a "fat mind", to express it crudely. And if you have a thin mind and used to have a fat mind, can you share with me how you flicked that switch?

@goteam so sorry to hear you had an ED as well. It is an awful thing to go through.

To be honest, I don’t know exactly how much I weigh. I guess around 9st6 (has hoovered around there for years), but I weigh myself very infrequently (maybe two month ago last time).

I like a loose fit on my clothes though... after 3 DC and at my age a looser fit is more flattering around my stomach, pilates or not

Hmm I'm very slim my bmi is about 16-17. I like food especially sweet stuff but I don't think about food. I genuinely don't feel hungry that often. I eat what I want when I want and it's quite often not that healthy. I get a reasonable amount of exercise as I walk everywhere but I don't do anything formal like gym or classes. I think it's a mixture of genetics as I have slim parents and maybe how people brains work! If I'm worried or depressed food is the last thing on my mind. And although I walk everywhere I'm quite lazy. So if I was watching tv and thought I fancied a biscuit I'd probably be too lazy to go and get it!

The only time I was starving hungry all the time was when I was eating loads of carbs all the time. I'd have a huge plate of Spag bol, chilli and rice or whatever and be ravenous an hour later. Took me about 20 years to work out I was eating the wrong foods, pre diabetic and needed to reduce the carbs and up the protein and veg and fat.

Not every one's body work well in a high carb diet.

@namechangeforthis555 thanks, that's useful to know. I am not sure I can get back to less than 10 stone but this thread has made me think about why I dont like to go hungry and about changing some of my eating habits (mainly too many crisps!)

I'm slim, size 6/8 and whilst I enjoy a tasty meal and like treats, I only really think about eating when my stomach reminds me I'm hungry. If I didn't need to eat to keep me alive I'd probably forget to!

This is not quite as good as it sounds as it means that whilst I may be slim, because I eat when I'm hungry, I don't make particularly healthy food choices. I tend to go for quick gratification (think crisps, bread, fast food) rather than spend longer making something nutritious and thought out. As a consequence I tend to get a lot of headaches and I am often lethargic.

I'm a lot better than I used to be (and consequently bigger) now that I make nutritious meals for the kids.

For people who feel shaky when they don’t eat. It’s unsteady blood sugar levels. Usually because of a high carb meal instead of proper good protein and fat. Have some eggs in olive oil for breakfast and see if it helps. Takes a while to adjust though so have a handful of nuts or hummous to tide you over. You want to sort it out as longer term can lead to type 2 diabetes.

I enjoy a tasty meal

I know I'm the weird one but I HATE three of those words and seeing them all together is too much!

@BillHadersNewWife

I find the action of masticating and swallowing a substance that provides me with both a thrilling taste experience and sustenance gives me satisfaction?

In my teens I never thought about food. I just ate meals and occasional extras and was always slim. My relationship with food got really messed up by my abusive ex who used food as a control mechanism. I weighed 7st 8 when I left him and I looked really ill with bones visible everywhere, sunken cheeks and dull skin. People asked my mum if I had an eating disorder because I was so thin looking. Ever after that I found I panicked about food and always needed to know where meals were coming from. For days out I needed packed lunch in case, I overstocked my cupboards and could not leave food if it was there eg buffets, a big plate etc. I had been trained by experience that if you get a chance to eat you make maximum use of it because it could be ages before you eat again. It's taken me years to overcome it and I'm still uncomfortable with throwing food away. I weigh 11st 1 today and am in the middle of losing some weight. Counselling gave me huge insight into a lot of my stress and trauma areas and I'm hoping to maintain a healthy weight from now on.

I've always been slim, despite quite a healthy appetite for junk food. If I'm anxious, sad, worried etc the first thing that goes is my appetite though.
I remember a doctor friend telling me that it was unlikely I'd ever have a weight problem as I don't medicate my emotions with food.
Most of us have ups and downs, stresses in life and its these periods that rebalance my otherwise good appetite.

I have friends who grab the biscuits, cake, whatever when life is challenging.

I have always been the same weight, 9 stone 7 at 5 6" with BMI of 21. I am now 50 and have been this size since I was 18 and have had 4 children. I don't work at it, I eat what I like and I walk the dog for exercise and that is genuinely all. And i have to tell you not all of my life is as easy as my weight so I am no smug perfect person. But your OP did make me think, and I have put down some of the thoughts I have about food:

It's so much work to finish my toast that I can't be bothered
I am not hungry
I really dislike rich puddings
I feel sick after 2 squares of chocolate
Bowls of cereal are also hard work and take too much time
suspicious of many things, eg have never and would never eat a kebab, a burger, most takeaways unless I'd researched the hygiene rating and then probably not, hate cooked breakfasts, cream makes me gag

so as you see I am well fussy so although I eat what I want I don't want much.

I don't medicate my emotions with food. If I'm upset, depressed, sad or worried, I can't eat.

I still managed to gain two stone in a year though.

I know people cite some programme about following eaters and how slim people didn’t eat as much but I think this underplays the genetic part of it.

As a child I didn’t think about how much I ate as I was v slim. I remember a friend asking why I stopped eating since I could have continued. She was careful re her weight.

Anyway I have to be careful now at 45. No way can I eat whatever I want and not get big.

I love food. I'm now a size 10. I was a size 14. I had to get disciplined .... exercise more and eat less. I would very happily eat more but I have largely managed to kick the habit of eating more. My desire to remain slim-ish outweighs my desire to eat most of the time.

I don't think as a country we are very good at giving people the information and knowledge they need to reduce weight
This really isn't true, it's well established now that CICO works, no matter which way the individual prefers to do that.

I am not denying that, I just think a lot of information has been and continues to be quite conflicting. You are of course right , eating less than you expend will result in weight loss over a period of time. Which sounds remarkably easy, so why do some people struggle to maintain losing weight or re-gain weight once they have lost it ? I know lots of people who have lost 3 stone, only to put it all back on again, weirdly 3 stone seems to be some sort of magic number amongst friends and acquaintance's, where the diet seems to go to pot. The ones who have managed a greater weight loss have kept it all off , so those who have lost 5 stone plus. Thinking about it , the ones who have managed big weight losses , have also become very keen on exercise as a hobby . The 3 stoners not so much.

Kind of answered my own question there

I do think exercise is underrated in weight loss.
It does three things - increases calorie expenditure, increases basal metabolic rate so that calorie expenditure is increased at all times and it provides a period in time when I can't actually eat ie. reduces calorie intake.

With eating I think it's a virtuous cycle, because I rarely eat sugar, when I do I feel ill and hungover, which makes me not want to eat it. Same with alcohol, I rarely drink so have a very low tolerance to alcohol and get no pleasure from it.

I think there's also a difference in mindset around excersise. I see excersise as a treat for my body and a way of relaxing that I look forward to, rather than a chore.

All that aside though, most of it is down to genetics and coping mechanisms to stress. I acknowledge that I'm lucky to have slim genes

@ferrier

For me, exercise also:

• gives me non-weight achievements (running faster, lifting more)
• improved confidence
• improved bone density, cardiovascular function, and endorphine benefits
• structure and accountability in the form of a personal trainer
• become more interested in fuelling my body around my activity levels - something that was absent when I was getting fat in the first place

I say it again and again, and I agree with @frumpety - I know lots of people who followed the "80% diet" mantra who lost about 3st in 6 months (usually for a wedding), and then piled it back on.

OP there was a phone in on woman's hour about this yesterday, you might find it interesting

I also think exercise is under rated. The stats are that weight loss is eighty percent diet, twenty percent exercise, but what that stat fails to take into account is the visible difference in your body when you exercise, the leaner, tighter, smaller, stronger, more toned physique you get.

Exercise can enable you to loose many more inches than you would do without it, way more than the 20 percent stat shows.

I am a massive foodie, love cooking, love trying different cuisines, have all sort of vices, especially cheese, I don't see food as functional but as something to enjoy. I have also been very sporty all my life, played senior grade rugby until several years ago when I took up competitive rowing. I eat a huge amount of carbs, I need the fuel as I am training up to six days a week. I honestly think people trying to reduce weight through diet alone are on a hiding to nothing, of course its possible, but it is exceptionally hard. It also irritates me when I frequently read on this site people reducing the importance of exercise with regards to weight control, citing what can only be described pseudo science to back their claims. It's very unhelpful.

I was naturally slim up until my thirties. yes I had treats but food wasn't the be all and end all. I notice this with my mil and bil, food is God. What can be more interesting than cooking. Yeah, i like certain dishes in moderation and eat healthily, but food isn't on an altar. Now I put on weight more easily, I'm 45, i simply don't eat rubbish and leave treats for Fridays. And no, I never stay hungry but don't need piles of food to function.

Bluntness100

What 'stats' are these? Seems s bit of an arbatory figure, surely it depends on the exercise, its intensity and frequency. Taking the dog for a half hour walk down the local park will burn a few hundred calories, sitting on an erg machine for 45 mins can burn 500 plus

I'm a thin person, always have been. I can eat whatever I want and I never put on any weight. I rarely exercise now, when I do I do yoga, I've never been to the gym. I eat a mostly healthy veggie / vegan diet ( only because my husband has had problems with IBS and now I just cook every night what he needs to eat) although before I ate a vegan diet, I ate meat and lots of takeaways and trash and my weight was never any different.

I've never eaten for comfort, I never really snack I just don't want to or feel the need to. Never have crisps or biscuits. When I'm busy I can easily skip breakfast or lunch and can run on tea instead.

If I'm upset I won't be hungry at all and find it very difficult to eat. If I'm eating chocolate I eat one or two chunks and I don't want to eat anymore, although if it's cake I could eat the whole thing.

I have a one year old and I now weigh less than I did before she was born.

I never think about my weight, it never crosses my mind, I never think about eating or not eating or what I'm eating. I never prevent myself from eating anything I want, on a trip to a restaurant a few weeks ago I had two starters, a main, a dessert and a coke float all to myself and it was flipping delicious and a hell of a lot of food. But I don't feel bad for eating whatever I want when I'm hungry, food is never a treat or reward in any way. I would never punish myself in my own mind for eating anything.