How do slim people think?

[Episcomama]

...because I really do think there is a difference between how slim and overweight people think. I am very overweight - BMI of 33. So obese rather than overweight, technically.

I've been off and on diets all my adult life, and the only thing I've really had success with is intermittent fasting and keto. When I stick to it, it works. The problem isn't my body, it's my mind. It's as though there's a switch that gets flicked from time to time. A voice in my head telling me to eat in case of famine. Food occupies much of my waking hours - once I've had a meal I'm thinking ahead to the next one.

A dear friend is very slim and once mentioned that she just doesn't really find satisfaction in food in the way I do (comfort, commiseration, celebration, whatever.) When I spent the weekend with her recently, it really became apparent how differently we see food. She was mildly horrified at both the quantity and frequency of my meals whereas I couldn't understand how she was satisfied with what she ate.

Eating disorders aside, do you think there's a difference between a "thin mind" and a "fat mind", to express it crudely. And if you have a thin mind and used to have a fat mind, can you share with me how you flicked that switch?

I also do no exercise at all. Consequently I weigh 19 and a half stones, as I have just discovered after digging the scales out of the airing cupboard , which is a bit a lot shit really ! BMI 43.8 , good grief I need to lose a whole person in weight !

Thanks Stubble will have a look for it

My point is my hips are not small at 34''!! They are wide to my eyes, so cannot see how anyone would think they are "tiny". My hips were narrower before pregnancy, now everyone comments how curvy they are not tiny

@frumpety I'm the same weight as you but sadly I walk for an hour every day (to and from work) and do a martial art twice a week so for me its all about the eating and not about the exercise.

All I get from exercise is toned muscles and time away from thinking about food.

moonlight at least you are giving something back to your body in the form of exercise. What are your eating habits like ?

I eat all the time. Like to know when my next meal is going be, have snacks in every bag, like food a lot and need to eat every few hours or I feel faint. I'm slim and always have been. Guessing it's metabolism as I'm also the 'ants in the pants' type of person who doesn't do well just sitting around. If I'm bored I may eat, but that's probably because the TV isn't enough. I have to be doing more than one thing at once. I am mindful what I eat though, but eat a lot of crap too. I cannot eat much at once though. Just can't. Literally get full quickly, then need to eat again soon.

Oh absolutely agree with you OP. Whether it's a mindset you're born with or a result of nurture (eg brought up to see food as treats - don't see how this can be avoided though?!) slim vs overweight people definitely have different mindsets.

This is so fascinating. Maybe attitude is everything.

I’m slim and, like many PPs, eat small portions, slowly. Not out of self denial - I don’t like to rush and hate feeling stuffed. I don’t eat breakfast except at weekends because I just don’t like eating too soon after I wake up.

I also genuinely love the taste of healthier foods ( I jump at the chance to have sprouts, spinach and sauerkraut) and although I’ll succumb to a McDonald’s once in a while, too much junk food makes me feel crap and I’ll crave home cooked meals with fruit and veg again.

I buy into the “let food be your medicine” idea. Neals Yard have a book on “Healing Foods” and it made me want to eat a wider range of good stuff as it goes into detail about how different foods have different health benefits. Also a few books about the dangers of sugar have made me actively disdain sweets and cake at times.

I also find the insidious marketing of junk food off-putting. It’s advertised in the same way cigarettes used to be, trying to put a spin on something that’s just fundamentally bad for you. Ridiculous as this probably is, I feel smug and like I’m not being fooled by “the man” when I choose a nice bit of cucumber in my water over some expensive fizzy drink. Like, Don Draper’s not going to trick me into spending my hard earned cash on a fast lane pass to diabetes - me and my carrot sticks are too clever for you. It’s silly but it’s an attitude that works for me!

Most people shouldn't eat carbs (e.g. bread, pasta, rice) every day, but lots do at every single meal!

Carbs aren’t bad. I eat carbs at pretty much every meal. It’s only eating to excess that’s the issue.

Most people shouldn't eat carbs (e.g. bread, pasta, rice) every day, but lots do at every single meal!

eurgh. anti carbers can be very evangelical...
carbs are ok. in moderation as part of a healthy diet.

anti carbers can be very evangelical...

This is true of many dietry 'systems' from carnivore dieters to vegans, low fat to low carb. I'm not sure it's ever a sign of a healthy relationsip with food.

Also see it with the protein obsessives who seem to think you need to have a perfect balance in every meal, every day. That isn't how healthy diets work. It's OK to have protein heavy days and days where you eat nothing but vegetables.

I am slim/an average weight for my height. I look good imo. It is a battle though, sometimes I find myself holding chocolate asking myself do I want to be slim and look good or eat it? I don’t find it easy I just don’t want to be fat!

I eat full fat (milk, cheese etc)
I eat carbs (somedays at every meal )
I drink alcohol

I just don’t stuff myself stupid as the do you want to be slim And look good or eat it question, comes in my mind. Vanity then kicks in and I don’t eat it

I also exercise a lot with running so I think that helps keep my weight in check, but again I have to force myself to run. I’d be a lazy sod if I wasn’t so vain I tell you

I think it probably depends on what you mean by carbs, white bread, crumpets,muffins, cake, biscuits, pasta, sugary cereal, etc not really required for good health are they ?

Portion size is relevant to carbs too , if I eat pasta I will have 5-6 fistfuls of the stuff. Rice, the whole microwave packet, although I tend to get the brown rice, wild rice, other added legumes, lentils or whatever. White rice doesn't do it for me unless its fried from the Chinese takeaway

frumpety I think I'm the same as you by the sounds of it. I eat healthy things, my meals are well planned and balanced but I eat the same size portion as my DH. I then have irrational cravings for my current obsession i.e. one week it can be crisps, one week it can be apples, one week it can be pastry and I cannot stop thinking about it. I'm trying to have the will power to just stick to my lovely meals (and I lose weight if I manage) but my brain needs rewiring. I'm a classic emotional overeater.

I eat a lot of pasta but find two fistfuls fills a bowl so yeah, probably portion size is the bigger issue.

We have ginormous plates and bowls , perhaps I need to look at getting some smaller ones Arnold

Interesting thread!
I'm 54, 5'8 and hover around 9 stone. I run every day and rarely eat breakfast, don't eat junk food (except crisps occasionally) because I don't like it, I don't always eat a 'hot' meal every day, but when I do it is home cooked. Even with all the sport I do I can put on weight as I love high calorie food like almonds, cashews, cheese and chocolate but I weigh myself every day to keep a check on things. If I have put on a kg or 2 I eat less for a week or two to lose as quickly as possible rather than ignoring it and putting on another 2.

It did say pasta bowl

I wouldn't say I eat emotionally moonlight, I am really stressed at the moment, DH has just opened the trial Christmas biscuits ( yes that's a thing ! ) and I have had one, but don't want anymore, not because they aren't nice because they are actually lovely, its just biscuits aren't something I eat at home. Works a different matter, if they were open at work I would have eaten at least 10 by now. I will probably eat about 5 of them over the whole of Christmas, same with the chocolates we buy at Christmas, probably only have a couple of whats left ones. We never had sweets or biscuits in the house growing up, or crisps come to think of it.

I was massively overweight in my late teens and twenties, then lost about 5.5 dive stone in my early 30s which I have managed to keep off for about 8 years. I'm a size 12 now. I have a very complicated relationship with food. I love food! I eat when I'm stressed or sad and I eat when I'm happy. However I feel guilty about everything that I eat and worry that I'll end up overweight again. So food has very negative connections for me, and even if I enjoy something I'll regret eating it later.

Even though I'm slim now, I'll never be 100% happy with my body.

Portion size is relevant to carbs too , if I eat pasta I will have 5-6 fistfuls of the stuff @frumpety

Bloody hell! A portion as per healthy eating guides, is a fistful / palm of your hand size of carbs- so that's pasta, rice, spuds. That's cooked portion size.

I've been skinny all my life and am only now within the "normal" BMI range, albeit at the lower end.
I do like the taste of food but sitting down to eat has always felt like a chore and an interruption to my day. I also don't like the feeling of being full, so have struggled to eat what other people consider normal portions. On top of that I've always been active and sporty.
Now I force myself to eat big portions 3 times a day including lots of protein and carbs as otherwise I'd be underweight. I'm around 9 stone and 5'9.
It might sound like I'm humble bragging but honestly I've always just wanted to be like other people - of average build, and not having to put up with comments about how skinny I am. It's not acceptable to tell someone they're fat, but seems OK to tell people they're skinny/need to eat more etc. I struggled with body image badly when I was younger but now I'm 30 I've accepted my body isn't going to change significantly (It's looked more or less the same since I was 14 and I've only put on a stone since).
I imagine it would be worse to be overweight but at least there's the camaraderie with other women, as a lot seem to feel fat and want to lose weight, and support and reassure each other. I can never relate to any of that or join in with their conversations because wanting to lose weight/feeling fat is an alien concept to me. If I try to chip in with my own struggles with weight (i.e. keeping my weight up) I just get eye rolls and told I'm lucky. It can be quite isolating.

@frumpety Get yourself a copy of the Fast Diet by M Moseley. (2nd hand online.) You might get on with the 5:2 regime which is 2 days a week of 500-600 cals. Recipes in book.

You need to do something, you know that, as it's ticking time bomb for your health.

I’ve got pots and mugs I use to measure out my carbs. That really helps me. I’ve weighed out a portion once and noted which mug or pot it fits in to. I’ve got a list on the inside of a cupboard door.