How do slim people think?

[Episcomama]

...because I really do think there is a difference between how slim and overweight people think. I am very overweight - BMI of 33. So obese rather than overweight, technically.

I've been off and on diets all my adult life, and the only thing I've really had success with is intermittent fasting and keto. When I stick to it, it works. The problem isn't my body, it's my mind. It's as though there's a switch that gets flicked from time to time. A voice in my head telling me to eat in case of famine. Food occupies much of my waking hours - once I've had a meal I'm thinking ahead to the next one.

A dear friend is very slim and once mentioned that she just doesn't really find satisfaction in food in the way I do (comfort, commiseration, celebration, whatever.) When I spent the weekend with her recently, it really became apparent how differently we see food. She was mildly horrified at both the quantity and frequency of my meals whereas I couldn't understand how she was satisfied with what she ate.

Eating disorders aside, do you think there's a difference between a "thin mind" and a "fat mind", to express it crudely. And if you have a thin mind and used to have a fat mind, can you share with me how you flicked that switch?

I wonder if your blood sugar dips too low and that's why you feel dizzy and weak , a friend carries a mini bag of haribos everywhere with her and if she feels like that she eats them ( she isn't diabetic) , I think they are only about 35 calories ? I She is slim too. I only asked about the fluids because you mentioned your low blood pressure.

Really interesting thread. I think so much is down to luck. Food is a big passion of mine and I don't (yet) need to worry about my weight- I'm 39 though so that may change.

A couple of things spring to mind, one is that I don't like feeling too full. So I always make sure I don't stuff myself without thinking about it. I eat little and often- (though not little as we are vegan, you actually get to eat mountains of tasty roast veg or stews or lentil shepherds pie, so many surprisingly amazing meals!) -apparently with Slimming world or those sort of programmes loads of the ' eat all you want' foods are vegan.

Secondly I usually drink almost 2 pints of water with dinner, this must help to fill me up I guess. (I realised I only do this because water was restricted with meals as a child, but I think it's done me a favour.)

If you want to up fruit and veg intake try eating vegan, honestly we used to eat 'oven food' and our diet was AWFUL, but once you change your mindset vegan food is actually the most amazing food I've ever eaten. There's a Netflix prog called 'The Game Changers' which I think is meant to be good. Or 'Forks Over Knives' about vegan eating (not upsetting or anything).

I also eat loads of cakes, biscuits and donuts 😳

Thanks frumpety I have started doing similar with dried fruit and often have a nakd bar or similar in my bag

I rarely think about food, so I either eat when it's a family meal time once a day or when I realise I'm hungry when I get a growling stomach. If I'm out all day or very busy I can easily forget to eat. Occasionally I have a day of feeling listless or bored or feel I need comfort food because I feel tired. Generally I've found I have more physical energy on an empty stomach and feel uncomfortable and sluggish on a full stomach. I just hate feeling full.

Usually I'm drawn to fairly healthy food. It's not a disciplined choice. I don't eat much sweet food but I do eat full fat.

In my case my "thin" mind just doesn't think very much about food.

I'm slim and athletic. Think my BMI is 17.5 or 18. I get pleasure from food when I go for a meal, but it isn't all consuming. I try to eat more to put weight on, but feel full very quick. I don't eat when I'm stressed. It knocks me sick.

@frumpety You see that for me, would be an anathema. I've never had a Haribo. Not boasting but if I go out and might need a snack I take an apple or some nuts or a small piece of cheese wrapped in foil in my handbag. Snacking on pure sugar is really bad and if anything will lead to insulin resistance and diabetes long term. It's not just fat people who get diabetes.

I also don't think there is a fat or thin brain,

I do think there is a mind set though, and I think that's a better way to put it.

Excluding things like mental or physical illness. Then I'd say in general, slim people tend to simply manage what they eat better, where as over weight people, are more, Ill start the diet tomorrow, or just this treat, aren't I being naughty, I've broken the diet so I may as well just eat what I please for the rest of the day, kind of mindset.

Slim people will eat it, but pull back much quicker, ie jeans get tight, eat less till they are comfortable again, or not eat it in the first place, manage smaller portion sizes, cut back the next day to compensat, mindset.

And those mind sets are fairly continual, because weight isn't about one day or the next, it's about a consistent pattern of behaviour.

Again this is excluding those with mental/physical illness or disorders such as binge eating.

don't really think much about it tbh.

I eat when hungry and stop eating when not hungry anymore, not full.

I rarely eat breakfast and often only have 2 meals a day.
I don't snack, which I think is the biggest issue for many people.

One of the woman at work suggested keeping a food diary for a week , she said write everything you eat and drink down and then look at it at the end of the week, work out the healthy stuff you have eaten, the not very healthy stuff , the empty calories like wine, think about the meals you really enjoyed and the ones you didn't really notice or weren't that bothered about. She never eats an undressed salad, but only puts a teaspoon of dressing on a portion and she chops her apple up before she eats it. She is slim, but she didn't used to be.

I don't eat much sweet food but I do eat full fat.

I find it interesting that dietry advice has shifted over the years from avoiding fat to avoiding sugar.

I've always eaten full fat, as I've never been overweight and always hated the taste of low fat I never saw any reason to do otherwise.

I've also never had a sweet tooth, always preferred savouries, and that includes preferring vegetables to fruit which I can go for weeks on end not eating (other than tomatoes/peppers which I know are technically fruit!).

So I have, purely because of personal preference, been happily eating full fat/low sugar all my life.

I think there is a real lack of understanding about what is healthy and what isn't. SW and WW don't help. 'Speed food' for example is a hilarious concept, that adding broccoli to a 1000 cal plate of pasta will somehow make it better... also their practically unlimited carbs - nope.

It's not normal to eat chocolate or crips or fizzy drinks every day. Most people shouldn't eat carbs (e.g. bread, pasta, rice) every day, but lots do at every single meal!

PunkHair she eats really well, has a great diet, does loads and loads of exercise , its just her thing I guess, she isn't ramming haribo down her throat, she just keeps a tiny little packet in her bag if she feels waffy she eats them, I hardly think a couple of tiny bags a week is suddenly going to lead to her developing diabetes though ? But I did think when I mentioned it that there probably was a better alternative

Well SW has got the old me back. I think in practice no one eats ‘unlimited’ amounts of pasta. And the idea behind speed is it fills you up for nothing. I feel it’s a healthy diet which has ‘reset’ me back to my old ways of eating after a decade of losing the plot.

It's not normal to eat chocolate or crips or fizzy drinks every day. Most people shouldn't eat carbs (e.g. bread, pasta, rice) every day, but lots do at every single meal!

I have always been very slim and it is pretty normal for me to eat either chocolate or crisps every day. I eat carbs most meals too. I think that the difference between overweight/obese in slim is more to do with portion size/calories than what you eat.

My only issue with SW is their insistence on that coy phrase Body Magic. Yuk. It’s Exercise!!!! And exercise is bloody brilliant fir weight loss!

Its interesting to see how slim people think. I am fat, not going to deny it and I am working on the issue however, my brain cannot compute that I am full. I try and have lots of healthy meals but I could keep eating and eating without ever getting that stuffed feeling - this does mean I snack with unhealthy things after as I am constantly thinking about food. The best diet I have ever been on was pregnancy as I started to feel full after a normal amount.

My DSis on the other hand is slim and often feels full and stops eating then.

This is a really interesting thread. I'm 5'8 and have always felt overweight. Looking back to when i was younger, I think, whilst i definitely was a bit over weight, i was mainly just taller and more developed than a lot of my peers. I always felt massive and fat though, which lead to comfort eating etc, so I was more overweight as a teenager. Have lost weight on and off a couple of times over the years. Both times i successfully lost weight properly, i followed a low fat diet and exercised more. Once in the swing of it I found it easy, but then life got in the way (first Uni, and with it too much alcohol and takeaways etc), and then pregnancy. The smallest i've ever been is a 12/14, which whilst still near the top end of healthy weight for me, feels like a good size for my body build. I'm currently about 3 stone overweight and a 16, pushing an 18 on the bottom. I find my issues tend to be eating crap mindlessly (e.g. kids in bed, breathe a big sigh of relief, inhale biscuits), or comfort eating. I know what healthy food is, and what a healthy diet looks like. Our meals are generally healthy, i cook mostly from scratch and we eat plenty of fruit and veggies, I just probably eat too much, and combine that with too many snacks, i'm overweight.

I really believe that to lose weight there is some sort of switch that flips in your head. When that happens, losing weight feels easy. But until then, and if you're dealing with binge eating and emotional eating, its so so hard.

I've just started reading The Beck Diet Solution which i'm finding quite eye opening about how thin/overweight people think. Pretty much everything i've read so far is exactly how I feel about food. It apparently uses CBT techniques to help you think differently about food, and that will hopefully lead to weightloss. Fingers crossed!!

however, my brain cannot compute that I am full

My husband is losing weight by only eating during an 8 hour window in every 48 hours. He's found that his stomach has shrunk so now he feels full despite eating less food.

I am former obese now size 10-12.
I eat and enjoy food greatly but I only eat when I hungry.
I realised I'd spent my entire life overweight because I ate for emotional reasons, not physical reasons
Trained myself to self soothe and entertain myself with things other than food.
Now I genuinely do not want to overeat, and never think about food when I am bored or upset.. I'd much rather go for a run or have a bath.
And yes being slim feels so much better than the taste of biscuits.

I’m naturally fairly slim (size 10/12, few pounds to lose as I’m six months postpartum). People think I can eat what I want but the reality is I have some deliberate habits that help me stay slim:

• no lattes or calorific coffees, just Americano with splash of milk
• no juice or fizzy drinks - just water and eat fruit for vitamins
• walk a lot
• no puddings really. Instead two squares of dark chocolate when I feel in need of something sweet
• meals are healthy - I like healthy food so don’t see the need to eat crap
• treats are glass of wine and cake if out with friends.

If I feel my jeans being tights I cut down on my intake for a week or so.

I’ve noticed more overweight friends can’t say no to food if it’s offered.

I'm very short so every extra pound really shows. I was super slim for many years and ate very little. I wasn't particularly bothered by the taste of food and always had very small portions. I was aware that I was trying g to keep my weight down though. After having children I developed a taste for food and eventually learned that cakes and savoury foods are delicious. Consequently I put on one and a half stones. My weight is 8 and a half stone but it is all around my middle and I hate it. I find if I try to diet I actually become obsessed with food and constantly sabotage my efforts to lose weight. All I want to lose is half a stone but it's almost impossible. My mind is definitely doing something strange.

But PunkHair that is exactly what I'm saying.

Some slim people love food but prefer being slim so make a conscious effort.
Some slim people don't care much about food and see it as only fuel.
Some slim people enjoy food but in smaller amounts and/or prefer less-fattening foods than larger people.
Some slim people don't really connect with the feeling of hunger and don't notice it until it is really strong.
Some slim people have disordered eating.

Some larger people love food and want to eat all the time.
Some larger people link food with comfort and self-love
Some larger people are anxious about lack of food and seek it out constantly.
Some larger people have a strong preference for fattening foods and/or think of large portions as being normal.
Some larger people feel constantly hungry if they are not eating.

There is not one "slim brain" or "fat brain". But there are thought patterns which are more likely to lead to becoming overweight or underweight. Some are easy to change but most are quite tied up in emotional stuff and therefore are difficult to overcome.

I absolutely love food but have always been a size 10-12 and within a healthy BMI. For me it's all about moderation. Enjoy the food you want to eat, enjoy pigging out and having a treat but that's what it should be, a treat. It shouldn't be your every day lifestyle.

I love all types of food, good and bad! I try to eat pretty healthily Monday - Thursday then at the weekend I eat whatever I like... pizza, curry, puddings!

So Monday-Thursday it's cereal for breakfast, sandwich/salad plus fruit & a treat (low fat crisps i.e Quavers) for lunch and then something healthy and filling for dinner. I always eat a big dinner, loads of veg + lean meat or fish in a pasta or curry. S0d avoiding carbs, I love my carbs :o) Maybe a piece of toast or some soft light cheese on a cracker in the evening.

I never deprive myself because I think by doing that you'll either be miserable or end up eating more! If I fancy a chocolate bar or a burrito at lunchtime I'll have one.

The only thing that I do to counteract what I eat is exercise. I love staying active and keeping fit. I cycle into work, walk everywhere I can and also go to the gym. My ability to do these things justifies what I eat.

It's all about balance! You won't be able to stay slim and eat what you like if you don't also chuck a bit of exercise into the mix.

I've got skinny friends who claim they don't enjoy food and God they look miserable. I've also got overweight friends who are constantly trying new diets but becoming more miserable by depriving themselves of what they love. It's really not THAT difficult to keep yourself somewhere in the middle.

I don't have the off button when it comes to eating, so if I made toast now, I would eat four slices. When I am eating it takes forever for my brain to go 'woah you are full woman' , but that's probably because I am used to eating huge portions and rarely leave anything on a plate.
I also eat when on the computer, either at home or at work, we don't sit down to eat as a family at the table, we usually all eat in different rooms . I very rarely eat looking at what I am eating if that makes sense ? I notice if I go out to eat with friends, I eat less and could never manage three courses in a restaurant.And that's not because I am worried they will think me greedy, more that the meal takes longer to eat because we are chatting. Perhaps I also eat too quickly at home, so the brain and stomach don't have time to do the full thing before I have shovelled far too much in ?

@frumpety this is where the brain over binge podcast helped me. It can be twee, but worth a listen and they are quite short.