How do slim people think?

[Episcomama]

...because I really do think there is a difference between how slim and overweight people think. I am very overweight - BMI of 33. So obese rather than overweight, technically.

I've been off and on diets all my adult life, and the only thing I've really had success with is intermittent fasting and keto. When I stick to it, it works. The problem isn't my body, it's my mind. It's as though there's a switch that gets flicked from time to time. A voice in my head telling me to eat in case of famine. Food occupies much of my waking hours - once I've had a meal I'm thinking ahead to the next one.

A dear friend is very slim and once mentioned that she just doesn't really find satisfaction in food in the way I do (comfort, commiseration, celebration, whatever.) When I spent the weekend with her recently, it really became apparent how differently we see food. She was mildly horrified at both the quantity and frequency of my meals whereas I couldn't understand how she was satisfied with what she ate.

Eating disorders aside, do you think there's a difference between a "thin mind" and a "fat mind", to express it crudely. And if you have a thin mind and used to have a fat mind, can you share with me how you flicked that switch?

Just finished eating my porridge.
I’m slim and think about food. I would die without it and quite enjoy it.

I was thinking about this last night and thought back to what I ate yesterday which was. Pretty normal day for me

2 hard boiled eggs
Bag of sugar snaps

2 slices of sourdough bread with a slice of Parma ham and a lump of manchego

Homemade chicken curry, homemade dhal and rice

A satsuma
A yellow pepper

2 glasses of wine.

That’s pretty typical for me. Is that a lot or a little? I don’t know

This thread is fascinating. I'm slim but have an ED past so that naturally affects my relationship with food. I no longer have an eating disorder but I still watch (roughly) what I eat as I get a bit weird if my clothes start getting tight on me. I'm a healthy BMI and I'm mindful of my proteins and veg and do some (mostly gentle) exercise and walk a lot, so that's how I stay slim. However, I flipping love food! I spent a decade not eating and obsessing over food, and now that I'm better I don't deny myself anything. I eat a lot of treats and do let myself overeat occasionally because I bloody love a full belly.

People say that they're jealous because apparently I can eat what I want without putting on weight, which is utter bollocks, as I do put on weight quite easily. I have a weight/clothes tightness range where I feel comfortable, and if I go over that I will gently cut back the treats. I think the main thing is that I tend to gravitate towards healthier food in general, and I don't have mega portions on a daily basis. Then I just treat myself when I fancy. I think this is as healthy as I'll get and I feel pretty ok about food at the moment.

My mum likes to be thin and definitely eats F all during the day but then binge eats in the evening. When she's visiting she's all like "ooh could I just have half an egg and a Ryvita for dinner - I couldn't possibly fit anything else in me after that massive salad I had for lunch!", and then later on she's raiding my Cornetto stash. But each to their own!

purple no diet as such, just smaller portions and no snacks. I already eat pretty healthy meals eg porridge with oat milk, almond butter and berries for breakfast, stir fries with tofu etc. I am vegan and will often have less healthy things like battered tofu and chips etc so cut that out for a few weeks and focused on salads (with protein in form of falafel, quinoa etc). I am pretty healthy but eat a lot of crisps and chocolate most days and drink 4 evenings out of 7 (not much though, a single gin and tonic for example)

@Answerthequestion it's not a lot but it's not exactly healthy. You appear to have had little or no calcium other than the cheese and only 3 portions fruit/ veg. Assume sugar snaps are a bag of sugar snap peas? You eat those on their own with boiled eggs? You don't have to get calcium from dairy but it should be coming from something like sardines, dried fruit, broccoli etc.

Marilyn had 34 inch hips.....that's tiny, that's sounds like a modern day size 6

I have 34 inch hips. And bust. But my waist is around 28/29 so I don't have a good hip to waist ratio. But I think your shape is what it is and you have to work with it. If you are an apple shape you have to be slimmer to avoid (too much) visceral fat than you would need to be if you have a smaller waist and larger hips.

A big grocery shop takes at least 40mins, @NightOwl27 Why don't you shop online? I do online shopping with a top up in store and the big online shops takes me 10 minutes. You don't need to spend 30 mins doing a cooked breakfast ( for yourself or a family? ) Boiled eggs take 5 mins each and you can do something else while they cook.

Assume too that your list of food is for 3 days and not one? Way over 1200 cals otherwise and you are eating quite a lot of rubbish each day ( sweet stuff and snacks.)

OP I’m a similar bmi and a colleague when talking about it at work recommended the brain over binge podcast about a month ago. There’s a lot of episodes to get through but it’s been helping. I’m a classic night troffer and I haven’t been doing as much. I’m half a stone lighter for it.
I find the American accent grating but am persevering, and not a fan of self help but it’s making sense to me.

Slim people don’t obsess over food, it just does not interest them in the same way. Get yourself another obsessive interest.

@NightOwl27 Why not batch cook your main meals? I'd not dream of buying take aways as often as you post here. The quality of the food in them is rubbish anyway. Make you own vats of chilli, casseroles, etc and freeze half, or have quick and easy meals like pasta or stir fry. And get a dishwasher so you don't spend all day washing up :)

I was away for the weekend with two other couples. They arrived hungry despite breakfast and a sandwich for lunch before they left (myself and my hubby hat the same to eat at this point). We all went out later for food and again had a similar amount to eat.
The difference was after this they went back to the hotel and ordered more food then went to their room complaining that there were no biscuits in their room. My hubby and I were aghast at what they put away, we were happy with what we'd eaten and satisfied, they just kept going.

It's no surprise really that from the last time we saw them they had put on a lot of weight. I just don't think they were aware of how much they were eating and still wanting.

You can't just stop thinking about food.

I am obsessed with food. I'm always thinking about it and I have an unhealthy relationship with it. I've been slim in the (recent) past but still all I thought about was calories, what exercise I would need to do to burn that off. I took fat burning pills, gymed 6 times a week, it was quite consuming and even that only resulted in me being a rather thick set size 8 (wide and flat like ones of those fish). Now I'm bigger (too big to be fair) but I always think "ah well, on my death bed at least I'll know I haven't missed out on my favourite foods" except if I keep going the way I am, it'll be my favourite foods that put me on my death bed.

Yes sorry, to clarify each section was a day! So a typical 3 days of food

I’m slim. At times I definitely overeat. I compensate by being sensible for a few days and/exercising more

But surely you have just proved the posters point that slim people don't over eat. Clearly they don't mean ever, but what you do is balance it out by reducing after it, so that over a week or two, whatever time frame, you haven't over eaten.

Slim people don’t obsess over food, it just does not interest them in the same way.

There are loads and loads of posters on this thread who are slim but think about food all the time.

Have never felt weak or dizzy when I don't eat for hours goteam , but I do drink a lot of coffee with milk in , on my 5th already this morning , so if I didn't eat until say 4pm which I might not today, I will have had at least a pint and a half of milk in my coffees (1% milk) How much fluids do you drink during the day ?

I am slim but I am permanently starving. A friend pointed that out to me recently and it’s true but I hadn’t acknowledged it.

Yes In general slim people simply dont over eat although there will be exceptions to the rule

frumpety i drink a lot of fluids, orange juice and coffee in the morning, water throughout the day and with meals. I have always been prone to fainting though, as a 6 stone 16 year old to an 11 stone 40 year old. Underweight or overweight I'm just a fainter but at this point in my life it makes losing weight hard. If I didnt get dizzy I could easily do 5:2 or similar.

@PunkHairToday I don’t live in the UK so unfortunately online grocery delivery doesn’t work that well here. A few shops offer it but getting it to arrive at the right slot or even day is very hit and miss.

And yes, I also think batch cooking is the best solution. Definitely trying to get into that and build a freezer stash.

. Does anyone else struggle with the 5 a day thing too? I don't think I manage it very often @zurigirl Not usually, no. But you could stop eating biscuits and have a piece of fruit instead. Typical day for me would be some fruit with breakfast (blueberries on porridge or with yoghurt), apple for lunch with homemade veggie soup or a salad ( grated carrot, peppers, green leaves etc) , main meal will have 3 veg ( eg peas, carrots, broccoli , green beans, peppers, sweet potatoes, spinach....) and more fruit- grapes or maybe raspberries or strawberries in season.

It's not that hard to get 5 a day if you eat 3 pieces of fruit, a portion of salad and 3 veg with your main meal.

To conclude then, there's no such thing as "how slim people think" vs "how fat people think" but there are ways of thinking bout food which might make a person more likely to be thin or fat.

I don't agree @BertieBotts

I for one think 'Ah, I'd love half a carrot cake' but the sensible part of my brain imagines the impact of that on my waist and having tight clothes. So I walk on and make do with an apple.

This thread is one of the most informative and respectful that I've ever read on MN, thank you for starting it OP. I have been overweight, bmi 28, and am now slim, bmi 23. Size 10 at 5'8. I am slim because I think about food a lot, so this contradicts the 'slim people don't think about food' message. I think the key is that people who are naturally slim and always have been don't think about it, because they naturally only eat when hungry and then stop when full. I eat lunch and dinner. 400 cals for the first 600 cals for the latter. I eat unlimited fruit and veg on top which I don't calorie count. I avoid sugar, junk food and snacks. I eat fruit as pudding, never as a snack. I drink loads of water. It's time consuming, repetitive and a little dull. I'm late 50s and I don't need as much food as the young me did. I work with women who mindlessly snack on staff room pringles, donuts, cakes, sweets all day and eat their sandwiches etc at lunch time too. That was me a year ago. I had to consciously change and it was hard. But very, very worth it. If I didn't think about food, I'd pile the weight back on, and I won't let that happen.

I think the key is that people who are naturally slim and always have been don't think about it, because they naturally only eat when hungry and then stop when full.

That is true although I still have to think about what I eat so probably wouldn't snack on junk because of the saturated fat/sugar rather than because of the calories. I don't think about food between meals unless I am hungry though.