How do slim people think?

[Episcomama]

...because I really do think there is a difference between how slim and overweight people think. I am very overweight - BMI of 33. So obese rather than overweight, technically.

I've been off and on diets all my adult life, and the only thing I've really had success with is intermittent fasting and keto. When I stick to it, it works. The problem isn't my body, it's my mind. It's as though there's a switch that gets flicked from time to time. A voice in my head telling me to eat in case of famine. Food occupies much of my waking hours - once I've had a meal I'm thinking ahead to the next one.

A dear friend is very slim and once mentioned that she just doesn't really find satisfaction in food in the way I do (comfort, commiseration, celebration, whatever.) When I spent the weekend with her recently, it really became apparent how differently we see food. She was mildly horrified at both the quantity and frequency of my meals whereas I couldn't understand how she was satisfied with what she ate.

Eating disorders aside, do you think there's a difference between a "thin mind" and a "fat mind", to express it crudely. And if you have a thin mind and used to have a fat mind, can you share with me how you flicked that switch?

I don't think it's as simple as fat/slim. I think there are thousands of different approaches to food.

I read a fascinating article about the different types of eaters. Naturally I can't find it right now, but there was one type that ate like a bird, someone who finds it easy to restrict what they eat, take great pleasure in not over indulging. That sounds like your friend. DM is like this. Personally I think how boring.

There was another type who are prone to over indulging but can also be a picture of health when at their best - that sounds like you.

Mine is the type that thrives on a diet full of fresh vegetables.

I would question if you are getting enough of the right nutrients, if you reach a point of feeling starving? I get that too. In the first half of the period cycle the body needs more protein and fat, in the second half it needs starchy vegetables and carbs - rice and beans, roasted veg. It really does work on hunger. Also lots of little snacks can help with the need to be constantly grazing.

I'm with you on intermittent fasting. Without realising this is how I ate for much of my younger life. Mainly due to disorganisation.

I binge on sugar, it's like a domino effect. The only way out of that is to keep to a very low sugar diet.

I think your rational brain just has to overrule your emotional brain, iyswim. You have to have the motivation, identify obstacles, plan ways around them. Eventually gradually you find the behaviour sticks. It's not quick, it's not sexy, and the effects are cumulative, not instant...like the much easier food hit. Maybe that's the thing - practising delaying gratification? [off to think about that]

When I'm busy or stressed I eat extremely little because finding, cooking and eating food simply takes up too much time. A cooked breakfast takes about 30mins from start to finish, including washing up. Lunch is usually take-out but the act of eating takes up 10-20mins. A big grocery shop takes at least 40mins, and if you cook, eat and clean up a meal from scratch then that takes 1-2 hours. So a typical day can easily contain 3-4 non-work hours just revolving around food and that makes me a bit claustrophobic because I keep thinking what better things could be done with that time.

I really do love food and never had an eating disorder, and if I had the choice I would love to cook from scratch every day. But for the reasons above I simply can't figure out how to fit that much food-related time into my day! Between self-employment, taking care of a baby, housework, chores, errands, admin, personal hygiene/beauty routine...it just seems impossible. A typical day for me would be:

• 2 eggs
• Apple
• Leftover baby puree, some crackers or crisps
• Two slices of toast with ham
• A piece of cake with coffee
• Chicken breast with some vegetables
• Evian water

• Small bowl of cereal
• Banana
• Takeout beef chilli with quinoa
• 2 biscuits with coffee
• 1 small packet of crisps
• 2 slices of toast with avocado
• Evian water

• 1 peanut protein bar
• Ham and cheese toastie
• 1 Espresso
• 1 Banana
• 2 Takeout meatball patties with mashed peas & potatoes
• 1 Mini Magnum
• Evian water

I've never properly calorie counted but by estimation I think my diet is only around 1200 per day. I do not drink any alcohol and prefer water with meals so I think I save some calories there. About 2-3 times a week I end up skipping lunch because of work or baby so I basically graze on small snacks and fruit during the day.

I’d say they think exactly the same. Most slim people I know are naturally slim and eat alot. Often they seem shocked at how little other people eat who are still bigger than them. Most others I know have to work damn hard to stay a healthy weight.

I thought Marilyn Munroe was voluptuous yet I’m reading that if she were here today then she would be a size 6?! That sounds anything but voluptuous to me.

NightOwl27 are you joking?? That is a shit load more than 1200 calories. Halve what you are eating and it might be close to 1200.

I saw a dress of marilyn monroe's once at an exhibition and it was tiny. Size 8 maybe today?
When you see pictures of her in the height of her career, she was petite in build but she did have curves. Her waist was very defined and her bust and hips were even. She was very well proportioned.

We also have to take it in account that marilyn monroe's weight did fluctuate a lot throughout her career. So her measurements and dress size has always been varied and debated.

I love food, I love cooking, I love experimenting with food. But I don’t eat breakfast and don’t eat lunch, just never hungry. If I do get peckish about 5pm, I’ll have 2 tangerines and a yogurt. I’ll then have a meal about 8:30pm. However I can go 3 days without eating a main meal. I’ll just have 4-5 tangerines and 2 yoghurts instead. I’m just not hungry. I should be a size 6! But I’m a 16, and go to the gym 4-6 days a week. Bloody medication is my weight problem.

• 2 eggs
• Apple
• Leftover baby puree, some crackers or crisps
• Two slices of toast with ham
• A piece of cake with coffee
• Chicken breast with some vegetables
• Evian water

• Small bowl of cereal
• Banana
• Takeout beef chilli with quinoa
• 2 biscuits with coffee
• 1 small packet of crisps
• 2 slices of toast with avocado
• Evian water

• 1 peanut protein bar
• Ham and cheese toastie
• 1 Espresso
• 1 Banana
• 2 Takeout meatball patties with mashed peas & potatoes
• 1 Mini Magnum
• Evian water

In one day? Or each section is day?

Marilyn had 34 inch hips.....that's tiny, that's sounds like a modern day size 6

How are 34 inch hips tiny? That's what I have and I havent been a size 6 since I was, what, 16!? 30 inch waist and I'm a size 10/12.

@NightOwl27 - I am assuming that is three separate lists as examples, and you're not eating ALL of that in one day?!

Not read the full thread but here goes...

I'm a size 8, maybe 53kg?

To be honest, I was always fed up of being told I was 'too skinny' when I was young, accused by a friend of being anorexic (I wasn't, and she was smaller than me so... ) and had people tell me I need to 'eat chocolate'... err, what?

I definitely don't deliberately do things to not put on weight, but I do think I naturally eat in a different way to other people maybe.

Some things I've noticed:

• I'm always the last in my family to finish a meal. Not deliberately or anything, I just like to savour my food and not rush it. Sometimes I've even felt a bit awkward about it if I'm in a group of friends and everyone else has finished, but I'm not going to rush and make myself feel sick or end up not enjoying my food!

• I often can't finish a meal when we go out, possibly as a result of eating slowly because then I get full quicker. I also really hate the feeling of being too full so I'd rather stop when I start to feel just comfortably full. I don't get any less enjoyment from the food by the way! But for me the experience of eating out is ruined if I end up making myself feel sick or getting a stomacheache after overeating.

• Given the choice, I eat little and often throughout the day, so a smaller lunch and dinner but always having a snack between meals.

• I don't really think I comfort eat, if I'm stressed I'm more likely to forget about eating altogether, so I have to be careful about that. That's another reason I like to always have snacks to hand, means I can quickly help the situation if I realise I've not eaten at work yet!

• I do like treats like biscuits and things, but I always try and make them last or space them out because I'd rather have one or two biscuits a day with a cup of tea than eat loads in one day and then none for the rest of the week.

• If I have too many mealtimes too close together that are just cheese, carbs, etc. and not enough fruit/vegetables, I'll end up feeling really bloaty or constipated or just generally kind of down or lethargic! So that motivates me to pick out meals/snacks with lots of good things in. I also just think meals full of veg, smoothies, soups, etc. taste really good!

• I nearly forgot to add this but I'm also pescatarian (eat fish but not meat) and I can imagine foods like sausage, steak, bacon, etc. are pretty high in fats? I know before I stopped eating meat I did actually put on some weight after staying with a family in Germany for a few weeks and I ate loads of meat then, so I do think there's a correlation!

Oops, sorry for the really long post there

What I ate today:

Breakfast: premade muesli with extra seeds (sesame and pumpkin) and some chopped walnuts thrown in and natural yoghurt, cup of tea

Lunch: homemade tuna burger, mashed potato, mix of cooked veggies (peppers, kidney beans, sweetcorn), glass of fruit juice

Coffee and a chocolate hobnob after getting home from getting shopping in and buying said hobnobs

Dinner: bowl of pesto pasta with the leftover veggies from earlier mixed in, had another biscuit after dinner with a cup of tea

I think that's a pretty typical day for me, but it would look different if I had been working today. I got up late so didn't need a snack between breakfast and lunch. I also never drink enough water but that's something I'm trying to change. Does anyone else struggle with the 5 a day thing too? I don't think I manage it very often.

UK 12 is not a 41" waist

You’re right! I was referring to a UK 16 from gap’s size charts but still got it wrong - a gap uk 16 is 41” hips and a 32” waist.

I think peoples language is also telling that we dont know what is healthy. 34inch hips is not tiny, and neither was MM. They should be normal sizes for a lot of people (cant be arsed to add all the caveats).

Most of my slim friends just aren't that bothered about food. It doesn't occupy their mind in the same way as it does mine and my other chub friends! They will eat when hungry, stop when full, it's more like they eat to survive rather than for pleasure (I realise this doesn't apply to ALL slim people but it seems to be the case with those I know)

I remember watching a programme where they got 12 "naturally" slim people to eat 3000 calories for a couple of weeks to see what happened. They nearly all put on weight.

I think 2 gave up because they found it too hard to eat that much.

One didn't change his weight, that was unexplained.

Personally, I really love good food, but stop eating once I feel full.

I’m slim but I do enjoy food and do still think about it rather than using it just for fuel.
I love cooking, but do choose to cook healthy foods and don’t bake or cook puddings very often.
I would say these days I do crave healthy foods, very infrequently do I crave unhealthy snacks, crisps aside. I also enjoy exercise for my mental health as well as being fit, that helps I’m sure.

How are 34 inch hips tiny? That's what I have and I havent been a size 6 since I was, what, 16!? 30 inch waist and I'm a size 10/12

But it's the 30" waist that makes you a 10/12, not the 34" hips.

Their 'happiness' comes from exercising, walking, physical activities, eating healthy, cooking healthily, looking good.

My' happiness' comes from food.

For those who say they can sometimes go a full day without eating or thinking about food, dont you feel dizzy? The last time I tried to 'diet', ie ate much smaller meals and no snacks I almost fainted while looking after my young kids. I just dont know how people do it. I do have low blood pressure but it's one of the reasons I find it hard to lose weight. I have lost half a stone over a fortnight before but had to seriously restrict exercise and go to bed early as I felt weak.

What diet were you following when that happened goteam? It sounds like you went eating enough, or you were eating the wrong things.

That balance day thing is what another of my slim friends professes to do. So she mentally thinks of her week as being split into 21 meals. If she has a high calorific takeaway or meal out, she might skip breakfast the next day ( as she still feels full ) and have a lighter lunch or dinner, then back to normal the next day. So she adjusts her calorie intake over several meals, to allow her to eat what she wants, when she wants to iyswim.
She also eats a lot of salads at lunchtime at work, lots of leaves and small bits of veg and stuff, they take a while to eat , much longer than it takes me to wolf down a sandwich and packet of crisps and biscuits or a bun or both

@ConFusion360 that's true - I'm an athletic build and it's always my waist that determines my sizing on bottoms - anything I wear on the hip can be a couple of sizes smaller - my Dad (he's an engineer) reckoned my waist is larger in comparison to my hips because narrowish hips mean that my internal organs have to go somewhere else! 'Sizing' does seem to assume a bit of an hourglass shape in some brands, although others (Karen Millen for a start) cater more for the straight up and down shape (and small boobs).