How do slim people think?

[Episcomama]

...because I really do think there is a difference between how slim and overweight people think. I am very overweight - BMI of 33. So obese rather than overweight, technically.

I've been off and on diets all my adult life, and the only thing I've really had success with is intermittent fasting and keto. When I stick to it, it works. The problem isn't my body, it's my mind. It's as though there's a switch that gets flicked from time to time. A voice in my head telling me to eat in case of famine. Food occupies much of my waking hours - once I've had a meal I'm thinking ahead to the next one.

A dear friend is very slim and once mentioned that she just doesn't really find satisfaction in food in the way I do (comfort, commiseration, celebration, whatever.) When I spent the weekend with her recently, it really became apparent how differently we see food. She was mildly horrified at both the quantity and frequency of my meals whereas I couldn't understand how she was satisfied with what she ate.

Eating disorders aside, do you think there's a difference between a "thin mind" and a "fat mind", to express it crudely. And if you have a thin mind and used to have a fat mind, can you share with me how you flicked that switch?

Wow, Marilyn had 34 inch hips.....that's tiny, that's sounds like a modern day size 6

I agree with your friend OP. I am naturally petite at 5"2 and size 6/8 and eat what I like. I dont have an emotional connection to food so dont over eat if I'm sad for example, saying that I could go a whole day without eating if I'm stressed so maybe I do. But anyway il ramble a bit, I think because I dont have the "fear" of putting on weight I dont put too much thought in to it If that makes sense. I will eat the cake, drink my fizzy drink and have my takeaways then that's that. Also dinner is the only meal I put any thought into, breakfast and lunch is just toast etc to fill me up I do not crave "tasty" food until the afternoon.

I dunno that could all be a load of tosh but there are definitely differences in the way slim/overweight people see food. Some for the good some not so much. Its difficult because we need food to survive so to try restrict that must be challenging.

I'm blown away by how many people responded - thanks. So much of my weight is psychological. A PP mentioned being raised that way - e.g. Saturday night "treat"meal, biscuits in a packed lunch, chocolate as a "pick me up". I was raised just the same way. A typical Northern, working class upbringing in many ways. A fair number of cheap carbs and "beige foods". I once commented to a friend that sitting down on a comfy chair with a cup of tea and a scone or slice of chocolate cake is like having a big, warm hug. Which is pretty tragic, really.

There's lots of food for thought here - pardon the pun - and I really do think I've hit rock bottom (or high point, in terms of my weight). I'm 5'10 and broad shouldered, so for a long time I've kidded myself that I'm "curvy". But it's bullshit. I weigh 16 and a half stones. I'm fat and I need to deal with it.

I am slim again after a 10 year period of being overweight. I still think about food a lot, and eat a lot. But differently. I guess I’m more mindful about what I eat.
But I also move more. I am properly active, and not just gym-wise. Dog needs walking? I’ll do it! Lawn needs cutting? I’ll do it! All these things add up

Ooh something to mention to those unsure about portion size. There have actually been scientific studies that show that plate size has a significant influence over the amount of food people eat. So for the same sized portion, eating it off a smaller plate will mean you feel more satiated by it. And plate sizes have increased over the years - which probably hasn't helped the weight gain trend. Same thing was found with wine glasses - I can't remember the exact details but it had enough of an effect that the licencing authorities are pretty interested in it!

If Marilyn Monroe was alive now with her 27” waist, she’d be a UK8/US4. For her to be a US12/UK16 now she’d have to have a 41” waist.

Based on those measurements, Marilyn would indeed be roughly a size eight, she was never a U.K. sixteen, you just have to look at her to see that.

Apart from her bust that is.

I was 'naturally fat' until I put the fork down. And now I'm magically slim.

Slim people simply don't overeat. Hardly any philosophy behind it.

I love food!! I’m 5”5, size 10, look slim. Once my kids were born I realized I had to eat smaller portions and not eat after 6:00pm. I walk to work and walk up and down 6 flights of stairs a day. I suppose I naturally have a fairly small appetite too. But I do love food, I just realized I’d aged out of having second helpings all the time if I wanted to stay slim.

@Episcomama That's so sad. But I'm a working class northerner too- or was! brought up in a flat with an outside lav! Don't blame your upbringing, you are now an adult. You might benefit from hypnotherapy or CBT. You need to break the cycle of sad feelings = food/ reward/ comfort. Maybe find other treats- new lippy, magazine, flowers. I fully get why you want comforting sweet food- most of us do. But if you eat well for 90% of the time, you can indulge now and then. But not every day. I eat 1 square dark choc a day (ok, maybe 2!) I eat a pudding once a week or so. I'd love this all daily, but I'd end up fat and miserable. You can do it but think about getting some help.

You might benefit from hypnotherapy or CBT. You need to break the cycle of sad feelings = food/ reward/ comfort. I've actually thought this myself.

Hardly any philosophy behind it.

Not for you, but perhaps for other people.

Slim people simply don't overeat. Hardly any philosophy behind it.

I’m slim. At times I definitely overeat. I compensate by being sensible for a few days and/exercising more. Isn’t it pretty much impossible (not to mention miserable) to never eat more than you should?

Really interesting thread. Fascinating to see how other people think!

I’m what you would call naturally thin, people have said fine boned, small framed about me. Have a bit of a muffin top after 4 babies and being in my late 30’s but nothing major.

I love food and think about it a lot but more in terms of wanting to try new recipes or cook interesting dinners than being compelled to eat my way through the cupboards.

I don’t think about food in terms of what I’m eating much, nothing is off limits or restricted, I eat what I want and don’t deny myself anything. I ate 10 Jaffa cakes this morning for example and still ate like normal the rest of the day. However I would say I probably naturally regulate more than I realise. For example the thought of eating takeaway two days running makes me feel a bit ugh, I enjoy a takeaway but I’d want something less greasy the next day.

A typical day for me would be:
2 weetabix
Sometimes toast depending on hunger levels
Something chocolatey
A sandwich
Something chocolatey
Dinner always carb+veg and usually meat too.
Plus 7/8 drinks (tea/coffee/water) a day
Rarely pudding, rarely alcohol, and rarely eat in the evening after dinner (although if I want any of them I will, I just don’t tend to want to)

Portions are decent but not huge I suppose. I eat a dinner plate full but it’s not piled up if that makes sense.

Purple Daisies, my Dutch friends (who do not tend to be big on diets) call that a "Balance Day", it works and means your diet is not "ruined" after an indulgent day. You just eat a bit less the next day

That’s interesting, ChickenyChick. I’ve never heard of that before.

I'm in may 50's and a modern day size 8, but the same measurements as I was when a size 10 in the 80s. I really think I eat a lot less than a friend who battles with her weight and is always on a diet. I don't eat cake at random times, only as a dessert after a meal. I don't enjoy biscuits with every cup of tea, and don't generally have a sweet tooth. I sometimes skip a meal if I'm not actually hungry, and will often eat two large meals instead of 3 regular sized ones. I think this helps to keep my appetite dulled. Lots of eating is just habits really

If Marilyn Monroe was alive now with her 27” waist, she’d be a UK8/US4. For her to be a US12/UK16 now she’d have to have a 41” waist.

She had a 24" waist, so she'd probably be a UK 6 now.

Interesting thread!

I’m a size 10 and 5 8” so fairly slim.

I do skip meals. I eat two a day. I don’t really snack either - if I do it’s a bag of baked crisps or a cereal bar.

I have vices (wine and takeaways) but actively control portions. Also think constantly about what is best to eat. Small lunch and usually big dinner (no breakfast). I know intuitively how many calories I’ve had.

I gain weight very quickly (will easily be 8-10lb heavier after a week on holiday eating everything and drinking all the cocktails) so have to consciously moderate.

And if I put on a few lb I just eat less and exercise more so it balances out.

I was 4 stone heavier ten years ago and I’ve kept it all off for a decade so that must count for something.

UK 12 is not a 41" waist. I take a 12-14 and have a definite belly (50, see upthread) but the widest measurement there is about 33", give or take, depending how farty and bloated I am. My hips are only 38"

I am pretty slim. I don't really have the secrets I don't think. I do quite a bit of regular exercise - mostly walking, nothing exciting. I don't really like eating to "stuffed" (suffer from digestive issues). Also genuinely like veg and tend to plan meals around eating enough veg and protein, then add enough carbs to make me feel satisfied - if I eat a lot of beige in one meal, I tend to just naturally crave non-beige in the next one. Most days are probably healthy enough in the round, but I do snack - I suppose the difference is that I am happy with a square or two of chocolate to pep me up, or one biscuit or piece of cake or whatever. I genuinely savour a small piece, but I guess that is partly because I don't have a sweet tooth.

Food is very much my friend as I have none in real life.

@Alwaysgrey I'm really sorry to hear that. Things at home sound difficult, I hope you have some support and that things look up for you.

A fish supper between four people is a very small portion indeed.

I thought so too, @Bluntness100!

I used to be one of those people who could eat what she wants and stay skinny.

Not so much now. But I eat too much and just sit on my arse on the internet all night when I come home instead of exercising. Need to remedy this.

I remember recently seeing a pic of me when I was 21. So skinny. And I was aware of that (paranoid about it as a teenager, I wanted to look like the other girls) but I didn't need to do anything to maintain that. It was metabolism but I've grown lazier as I age as well which doesn't help. I did keto last year which shifted a stone and I looked and felt much better but ended up coming off it. Need to stay off the sugar and processed foods and do some exercise.