How do slim people think?

[Episcomama]

...because I really do think there is a difference between how slim and overweight people think. I am very overweight - BMI of 33. So obese rather than overweight, technically.

I've been off and on diets all my adult life, and the only thing I've really had success with is intermittent fasting and keto. When I stick to it, it works. The problem isn't my body, it's my mind. It's as though there's a switch that gets flicked from time to time. A voice in my head telling me to eat in case of famine. Food occupies much of my waking hours - once I've had a meal I'm thinking ahead to the next one.

A dear friend is very slim and once mentioned that she just doesn't really find satisfaction in food in the way I do (comfort, commiseration, celebration, whatever.) When I spent the weekend with her recently, it really became apparent how differently we see food. She was mildly horrified at both the quantity and frequency of my meals whereas I couldn't understand how she was satisfied with what she ate.

Eating disorders aside, do you think there's a difference between a "thin mind" and a "fat mind", to express it crudely. And if you have a thin mind and used to have a fat mind, can you share with me how you flicked that switch?

Someone mentioned the how slim people eat programme on C4. It was very interesting - worth a watch.
Everyone was different - ranged from a few slim people professing that they love food and are always eating but when watching back the videos of them, they hardly ever finished off meals and tended to pick and not eat a full meal - to others just not interested in food and forgetting to eat.
Another woman - totally baffling - ate unhealthy calorific food constantly - but just didn't put weight on.
Everyone is different 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's been a very interesting thread, it seems there's a few types:
Mindful Foodies: people who love food but consciously portion and calorie control to maintain.
Eat to Live: people who only eat because they have to but gain no enjoyment from food.
Intuitive eaters: people who can naturally maintain the correct intake of food.
Sporty: highly active people who tend towards healthy foods but can consume high number of calories but this is used during activity

I think that's about right.

I'm slim and I eat what I want when I want it, however what I want tends to be healthy food with a few vices. I eat large portions of healthy foods, lots of vegetables, low meat intake, probably more dairy than I should.

One thing DH noticed is that I self regulate quite well, so he will consciously give himself a smaller portion because he tends to finish whatever is on his plate, whereas I will get seconds/thirds if I feel like it and other days get half way through a meal and box the rest up for leftovers.
I don't attach emotions to food or have "treats". If I want a cake with my cuppa then I'll have one because it's nice and I'll enjoy it (whereas one of my siblings will say "ooh I'm being a bit naughty" which makes me 🙄 in my head).It helps that I'm also reasonably active too though less so now I'm in my third trimester.

I think I'd be a fairly intuitive eater under your categories.

Oh god, not the Marilyn thing again. Likely an eight, which she was then sigh,

Sigh all you want but according to her modelling agency notes, she was actually a 12 then... or is that really 1 Z on the card?

I haven't read through all the answers, will have a catch up later. I'm slim and I absolutely love my food. But I love to eat when I'm hungry and will stick to three meals a day. I hate it if I'm out of my routine.
There are times when I meet up with friends and biscuits/cake are offered. I'll have a teeny bit, because I genuinely want to go to the table with my stomach rumbling. I have slim friends and larger friends, it's the ones who stick rigidly to three meals, no picking who are slim.
It was harder when I was menstruating, I had cravings that were hard to battle with and that was a problem for me, sometimes you have to give in. I definitely tubbed up in my twenties so I know it's hard.
Also I've noticed that slim people have less of an issue with food, there's a mentality of I can eat it if I want but choose not to. Or I'll just have a bit of something with no guilt attached.
I don't forget to eat, or miss out meals, I feel nauseous if I do. I think slim people eat more during meal times and are therefore satisfied. I can't always do it for my main meal but I do try to stick to half the plate with veg, one quarter protein and one quarter carbs.
I work in a cafe and the slim people most often have a drink no food, unless they're in for lunch. Less careful eaters might have a cake and will debate loudly how they shouldn't, they're trying to be good etc. I've been that person!
Anyway good luck and enjoy your food without guilt.

Interestingly I was naturally slim but got fat after moving in with a fat person. DH wants to cook a proper meal every evening whereas I’d often just grab a sandwich. The portions he cooks and serves are far too big. He insists on eating at mealtimes even if he’s not hungry whereas I often used to skip lunch, or skip dinner and just have a sandwich for supper. He puts far too much oil or butter in the pan whereas I’d use a tiny drop or even just water. He wants a dessert every night and often eats snacks after dinner while watching tv, which I never did. He often drinks alcohol on a week night and regularly drinks pop instead of water. He orders crisps and chocolate etc in the shopping every week. It’s difficult to watch someone else eating and not have some. Copying his bad habits made me gain three stone!

Well, my thought process is always to imagine myself fat, which puts me off and makes me want to exercise.

Another woman - totally baffling - ate unhealthy calorific food constantly - but just didn't put weight on.

I saw a similar programme where it was suggested that constant fidgeting may be the reason some people didn't put on weight. If I remember correctly, they were comparing twins on the same diet.

Well I was blessed with a lighting fast metabolism as a teenager and as a result was super skinny no matter what I ate, I say skinny because I was skin and bones to look at - it was horrendous for my Grandmother (raised by my Grandparents) as social services came to our home on more than one occasion because my brother and sister were the same, could eat anything and no weight gain... then I reached 19 and that metabolism went bye bye... I’d never had to learn to control my diet, to moderate, to excercise and so forth so I piled weight on very quickly, because the appetite was still there, but my body no longer did the heavy lifting of burning the excess off.

Because of my size throughout school I was bullied for being thin, usual remarks about eat something, wannabe model, disgusting to look at etc so I hated myself when I was slim.

Then I went too far overweight and hated myself for being obese.

Had my children at 29 (my lovely twins) and have been making every attempt to get fit and active for their sake. Now I’m a size 12/14 (down from a size 18/20) and feel happier than I ever have because, whilst I still have to lose a bit to get to my target healthy weight, I’m actually taking real control and that’s nice. I don’t know if any of that is relevant but wanted to share as I went from one extreme to another weight wise and have just started to get to a happy equilibrium by learning those methods of a healthy but not constricted diet - of being active without feeling like I’m constantly forcing myself to be active, little changes kept consistent over two years (and still enjoying a chocolate bar or takeaway on occasion) has seen me lose a fair bit of weight and it’s sustainable for me

Also a good tip my MIL offered (on one of the few occasions I asked for one) was whenever I think I’m feeling hungry, have a glass of cold water, as cold as I can get it, wait for half an hour and if I’m still hungry after that, then eat - that way I know my stomach isn’t reacting to needing water and the cold water is meant to help give a bit of a kick start to the metabolism (so she says).

Nothing revolutionary in terms of dieting and what have you, but I didn’t even know that 😂

I'm within the healthy range and a 10 in current sizes.

I'm not naturally slim. I have fat legs and cankles as well.

I consciously limit what I eat to 1200 calsif I can.

I can't eat large meals. I do not as a rule crave or eat cake. I pick a lot. I would not care if my cupboard was empty: I'd simply pop out to the shop and buy something there and then. I dislike cooking and wouldn't do it if I didn't have to.

If I have to eat an actual meal, I portion control like crazy.

I dislike eating out as I generally don't like eating with others, and I don't like waiting around.

Re Marilyn - don't forget that US dress sizes are different from UK ones. I believe a US size 12 is UK size 16?

Agree! i think there are many different types of slim people!

Ive been very underweight and just into the overweight category at different points of my life.

Right now i'm average, neither slim nor overweight. I'm a 12 or 10 at a push at the moment and 5ft 9. I collect all my fat on my stomach so it's not distributed all over annoyingly/shows quickly.

Slim has happened by obsessing over food and fighting the want to stuff myself stupid.

When Im creeping to the middle of top end of BMI, its 100% due to stressed/unhappy. Eat until I get indigestion.

I have a constant battle about what i eat.

Thin or fat version, i obsess about food.

I'm kind of fat now but I used to be slim. For the most part I just eat what I want when I want. I've only attempted to diet once (calorie counting) and pretty quickly gave that up because it was a pain in the arse. I try to be sensible when shopping and cooking - I know that if the house is full of junk food snacks I'll eat them but if there's only healthier food that's what I'll have. I've been trying to cook more and eat ready meals less this year but that's for the pounds in my wallet more than the ones on my waistline.

I'm naturally 'medium', not thin, but not exactly fat either - somewhere in the middle. But pregnancy and lots of uncontrolled crap-shovelling pushed me into obese category (size 20). Was obese for about 5 years until one day decided I've had enough and lost about 7 stone.

And now (for a few years already) I'm skinny. Skinnier than I've ever been. And I bloody LOVE it. Absolutely any piece of clothing looks good on me (in my own personal opinion, of course, others may disagree). Probably helps that I'm also very tall, though.

So the (in)famous Kate Moss quote is absolutely true for me. I love food. And I love the lowest quality crap the most: burgers, pizza, kebabs, biscuits, cheap crappy chocolate (not the 85% dark one) and the like. If these all would be 0 calorie - I'd eat it every day until I'm sick. Fuck the health.

But I'm vain and I love being skinny. It's an effort, but SO worth it (for me). If someone asks, I don't pretend that I'm 'naturally slim' (I'm not), that I eat 'loads' and 'everything' (I absolutely don't) OR that I want to be slim for health reasons (no, purely for the looks), don't like to lie. However, there are people who are naturally slim, love food and eat quite a lot. Lucky sods :).

When I lost lots of weight people didn't want to hear that it was down to cutting out sugar and working out and running miles. They seemed to want me to tell them it was a magic wand. They got very funny with me if I refused cakes/puddings/ treats like I was depriving myself but also spoiling it for them too.
I came to the conclusion that unless you were naturally slim people were just waiting for you to 'fail' and get fat again. It was actually a really hard time for me and people were quite unkind. I only lost 3 stone, I imagine it's even harder for people who lose 5/6/7 stones or more

Punk I’m 5ft 3” and when I get ‘petite’ dresses or trousers from BooHoo then they’re always far too short so I just stick to the regular sizes, I think when they say petite then they really mean under 5ft even though they say otherwise.

Yeah lots of slim women love food and to suggest otherwise is offensive, it’s like saying that all overweight women are greedy and this isn’t true either.

Re Marilyn - don't forget that US dress sizes are different from UK ones. I believe a US size 12 is UK size 16?

It's the other way round - US 12 is UK 8.

Re Marilyn - don't forget that US dress sizes are different from UK ones. I believe a US size 12 is UK size 16?

It is now, but was it in 1945?

I suspect that UK and US dress sizes were more closely aligned then but vanity resizing since has been more extreme in the US.

No it's correct, US size 12 is UK 16 - but I've also seen US 12 = UK 14.
True about vanity sizing. In any case Marilyn has a bloody fantastic figure so who really cares.

I'm fairly slim, but I genuinely don't like eating much. I hate having to put the time and effort in, and planning the family's evening meals is my worst ever chore!

This is so me! I can't stand thinking about what to eat in the week, what lunch to take to work, what we need from the supermarket... so boring. I do eat (small) meals with the family but if I'm in on my own, I'll often miss dinner and have a few crisps instead or a bowl of cereal.

I'm definitely someone who prefers being slim to eating a nice meal.

I am a curvy size 10. Food forms most of my thinking. I love it and I meal plan all day long. However I look to see how I can make something really gorgeous but also healthy and I exercise.

For example, today was raisin and cinnamon bagel (they needed eating up) lunch was stir fried Choi sum, garlic, chilli, broccoli and carrots with glass noodles and a steamed duck bun on top. And I thought about it ALL morning prior to eating it. Dinner was something I have been constantly returning to on River Cottage Veg and not actually tried which was pumpkin stuffed with leeks and cheese. I did asparagus on the side, roasted tomatoes and peppers and a sausage. (This was the most soporific meal ever by the way).

I was very hungry prior to dinner and very hungry prior to lunch. I work extremely hard not to snack all day. If I have Bombay mix in the house this is an enormous challenge to my willpower.

I also comfort eat, comfort buy food etc

I'm slim, seems to be genetic maybe some kind of high metabolism, and love food! It's definitely a pleasure and a comfort. I would say that while some days I eat junk (an entire dominos large pizza, half a pack of biscuits) other days I'll eat moderately. I also know that when I've ever looked at the calories I eat in a day, it's not been massively high, and not consistently high so I think somehow I regulate the quantity over 2-3 days as if I binge one day I might unconsciously eat less the next.

It's the other way round - US 12 is UK 8.

It's not! If you are an 8 in the UK you need to buy a 4-6 in the US

Yes US 12 is UK 16